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  • Hi. So I’m writing a series called ‘Elysian Knights’. It takes place on a planet called Azura where some kids go to a school to learn how to fight monsters called Pandora. It’s supposed to take inspiration from RWBY.

    But I have a problem: I wonder if it’s too inspired from RWBY, and by that I mean if it’s basically a ripoff, which I’m not trying to make.

    [1]

    If you could go through the link and check out all the stuff about the EK universe and its characters, I’d love to hear your honest thoughts. Is this too similar to RWBY or is it fine?

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    • Hey! Just went through some of the links on the wiki. Seems fun!! 

      I definitely see some similarities to RWBY, the Hand of the Dawn and the Therians particularly some to mind as inspired by Salem's group and the Faunus. I really like the concept of the vargr, that drew me the most.

      Mind if I gave you a suggestion?  

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    • Sure, go ahead!

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    • I'd def look at setting a theme to the story first, often times people forget that every story has a message and it should be one of the first things looked into when writing it, to tie everyone together in a neat way. 

      For example, Jedi Fallen Order carries the themes of guilt and accepting the past, so all characters revolve around those themes in some way. 

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    • I did realize that I never really had a proper theme in mind, so I mainly settled for “good vs evil, light vs dark” etc, but that’s just laziness.

      Another story idea I have, Aeterna Noctis, mainly has the theme of fear and overcoming it, so I’ll see what I can do with Elysian Knights. Considering the struggle against the Pandora, I should be able to come up with something revolving around that.

      So to answer my question by the way, do you think EK is creative enough or is it too much like a RWBY knockoff? You uh, didn’t really answer that all that much

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    • Sorry! As far as I've read, some concepts are starting to veer to getting too close to certain RWBY character, I'd say. Lazarus is a bit too close to Hazel from the description, for example. Fleshing out the culture and world may help with that, but from character descriptions some are similar to the point where it's pretty noticeable. 

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    • Yeah I should probably change him a bit. Gonna work on that.

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    • Yee. I'm not too sure what the full story is so it's hard to get a handle on that. Do you happen to have a summary?

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    • Basically, an event happened which caused Bella and Ava’s childhood friend to disappear. They go to Minerva Academy to learn how to fight so they can find her and are put on a team of 9 (I changed it but haven’t made the edit yet). In their school days they are forced to deal with monsters, terrorists, their own personal struggles and worse.

      Yup.

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    • However, I did think of replacing the terrorist organization with one that worships the Pandora, I’m still considering it and haven’t fully decided though. There’s also a plenty of other villains I thought of.

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    • I wonder if changing the setting from an academy to something else could help. Maybe a monastery or something of the like. 

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    • Yeah I dunno.....how would this monastery logically lead to the team forming? Why would Bella and Ava go there to hone their skills so they can find their friend?

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    • I used monastery as an immediate example. Think Doctor Strange, where Strange goes to find Kamar-Taj to find healing. Could be something like the sort, where they're looking for people who may know?

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    • Hmmmmm.....In a monastery though? I still don’t see how the main team would form in there. Maybe I’ll stick with the academy setting but add in something where they try to look for people who may know. Is that good?

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    • Monastery is just an example, like I mentioned. My line of thinking with the academy is it may be too similar to Beacon depending how it's built up in the story. 

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    • Well yeah, maybe. It was there because EK is supposed to be a RWBY-inspired series and I wanted to make a team. Hell with the story I have planned I really have no other ideas for the setting that I like.

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    • Then, what about this for a possible suggestion? Bella and Ava decide to head towards a village and see if there’s any clues regarding the whereabouts of their missing friend. But when they arrive, the village is being attacked by the Pandora. So, maybe they meet some of their future teammates while fighting off the Pandora?

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    • Hmm.

      Hmmmmm.

      HMMMMMMMMMMMMM

      That could actually work. Though there are still some problems that I need to figure out. I’d have to change how the academy teams would form and all that.

      Actually now that I think about it, it is a little too similar to the Beacon initiation thingy. So changing it is for the better.

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    • Glitchee, what other ideas did you manage to think of for Elysian Knights?

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    • Well, the previous idea I had was that Bella and Ava walk through the streets to the airport and take a ship to Minerva, because the original plan was for them to go to the Academy to begin with. I bet I could fit in your idea somewhere though. Maybe.

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    • So I’ll just post this list of antagonists I’m thinking of replacing the Sword of Paladins with, since they’re a terrorist organization...like the White Fang is

      • A Pandora-worshipping cult that goes around killing people.
      • A team of criminals.
      • Some Arcane serial killer.
      • A half-Vargr monster that goes around eating people.

      Or better yet, I could just replace them with the Pandora until the Hand of Dawn makes a proper introduction. Or, I could use all of them.

      ....yup.

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    • Make sure you can balance them all well. 

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    • I’ll try. Now to figure out which to use.

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    • When it comes to this story, is there going to be a concept that’s based on/takes inspiration from Semblances?

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    • The closest thing to that are Soul Arms, which are weapons made of Ether that people can summon. Some of these Soul Arms have their own special powers.

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    • Okay so I think I’ve got a theme in mind now for Elysian Knights.

      Basically it revolves around protecting those you love/innocent people or stuff like that. I think it kinda fits considering Bella and Ava’s motives as well as those of the main antagonist, and Athena Blade’s goal to protect the Empyrean System from threats.

      May not be the best but hey it’s something.

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    • Ay, that's a start. I'd suggest looking up famous quotes as a reference point of how you wanna develop it further. 

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    • I’ll go do that sometime maybe.

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    • So in EK, Arcanes can summon something called a Soul Shield in addition to a Soul Arm. Soul Shields are basically stationary force fields of life energy (known as Ether) that the wielder can use to protect themselves from damage.

      Kinda wonder if this is too similar to Aura, but maybe not.

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    • I’d look into their functionality. Aura runs basically runs like a shield that can replenish itself and is what generates power, so how would Soul Shields function differently and the like?

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    • Basically, they can just protect the user for a short time and can also be used to repel objects with a small pulse upon being summoned.

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    • Ahhh, nice. 

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    • Yup.

      Although Arcanes can also produce a pulse from anywhere on their body for the same purposes, although they can also use them to propel themselves.

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    • GreatWestern4449
      GreatWestern4449 removed this reply because:
      Fixing it
      01:08, May 12, 2020
      This reply has been removed
    • So, how much of RWBY concepts were you going to include in Elysian Knights? Because so far, you’re planning on including your own original takes on the following. The Grimm, Faunus, Huntsman Academies, Semblances, Aura, and Teams. Were you also going to include the Relics, Dust, Magic, and the Maidens In Elysian Knights?

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    • Nah, I think it has too many RWBY-inspired concepts already. There was Magic, but it belonged to a different species.

      Also, there *is* kind of a version of the Maidens in EK, however in that case their similarities to Maidens were unintentional, I just realized it later on.

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    • I really wish there were more people on this thread to give me their thoughts. :(

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    • Well, have you thought about posting a preview in this thread? What I mean is, a scene that teases how the story of Elysian Knights will go without giving away too many details.

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    • Sure, I’ll get to work on that sometime.

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    • Yeah, that'd def help with setting the tone and all. 

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    • Now to work up the motivation to actually write the damn thing

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    • Hey guys, I haven’t gotten to work yet on the story (too lazy and distracted with other things rn), so instead I thought I’d show you an older version as proof I am actually working on Elysian Knights.

      Yay or nay?

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    • Sure

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    • Sounds like a plan.

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    • Okay, here it is.

      Do note that it’s actually pretty unfinished though. Anyway, here.


      .......

      The attack happened in the dead of night. No-one could’ve seen it coming.

      It was just a calm, peaceful night in the town on Snowfall, on the snowy world of Heimur. Light snow descended slowly from the black starry sky, the moonflowers illuminated the snow-covered fields with soft turquoise-colored light, and there was barely a predator in sight.

      And then, the Pandora came for them.


      Right before all this happened, the Camellias were resting in their home. It was a family of four: the mother and father, and two children. Both twins. One twin had white hair with cobalt blue eyes. She was Bella. And the girl’s sister, Ava, had black hair with yellow eyes in contrast. Since their mother was a Therian, and their father was human, Bella and Ava each had a white fox tail, and a pair of white fox ears on the tops of their heads in place of normal human ears. The two girls were only 5 when it happened. They were just sleeping soundly in their shared bed....

      Then, pain shot through their heads like hot needles stabbing into their skulls, jolting them awake. They immediately shot upward from their bed and clutched their heads. It was their Arcane senses warning them that danger was close.

      Very close.

      “AHHG! It hurts!!” Bella cried.

      “Make it stop!” Ava whimpered.

      There was a knock at the door. A second later, a woman with long white hair burst into the room, looking deathly concerned. “Bella! Ava! Are you alright!?”

      “Mom

      [unfinished]

      ——


      It was a cool Sunday afternoon in the city of Andromeda, Corinth. The streets were abuzz with the sounds of chatter and the noises of passing vehicles, along with the roar of the spaceships flying by high over the heads of the citizens below, who were just going about their business.

      Amidst the streets, a certain pair of Half-Therian twins were walking across the sidewalk. One had short black hair and yellow eyes, and was almost skipping across the pavement in excitement. The other had shoulder-length white hair and blue eyes, who was walking with her hands in her pockets and head hanging low, trying to not glance up at the people around her. She could practically feel their eyes on them both.

      “This is so exciting!” Ava exclaimed. “We’re finally going to the academy! I can’t wait!”

      Bella said nothing. She had been deep in thought the moment the ship had dropped them off from Heimur. She and Ava were about to attend Minerva Academy, a place where young Arcanes like them could learn how to wield their powers and protect the innocent and those they loved.

      But unlike her sister who was full of excitement and anticipation, Bella was instead burdened by doubt and fear. What would they think of them when they arrived to the school? What people would she and Ava be on a team with? Would they like them? What if Bella did something which got both of them expelled?

      Yes, Bella and Ava chose to attend this school by their own choice, and Bella wanted to learn how to protect Ava. But...would she be able to when the time came?

      The whole idea seemed so crazy now that she thought about it. They were going to a school, far away from their home and their aunt and uncle to learn how to fight and kill Pandora, the monsters which had been relentlessly terrorizing humanity for generations and seemed to be practically endless in numbers, and would be away from their home town AND those left they cared about for likely a very long time. To learn how to kill things.

      And, yeah, she wanted to protect Ava, and reunite with her lifelong friend....but as doubt began to fill her mind, she couldn’t help but ask herself: “Can I really do it?”

      “Bella?”

      The voice of her sister brought Bella back to reality. She turned to the direction of the voice, and found herself face-to-face with her sister’s concerned expression.

      “You alright?” she asked.

      “U-uhm...” Bella stammered.

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    • So uh, thoughts?

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    • It looks good so far, but were you planning on including characters based on the Beacon staff? Like Ozpin, Glynda, etc.

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    • Eh, maybe not. I had my own original ideas for the school staff in mind. Fun fact: Some of these staff were actually a part of Bella and Ava’s parents’ team back when they attended Minerva.

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    • If you do decide to use that village idea for Elysian Knights, would this be an acceptable suggestion?

      Basically, Bella and Ava arrive at the entrance to the village, but they’re soon stopped by one of the guards, since he/she is suspicious of outsiders and thinks that Bella and Ava are there cause trouble. Shortly afterwards, the residents come under attack from the Pandora, and they ignore the guard’s protests, quickly making their way into the village to deal with the Pandora.

      Just a possible idea, but it’s ultimately your call on whether to incorporate it in the story or not.

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    • I was actually thinking of changing the idea a bit. Instead of a village, it would be a town near Bella and Ava’s. They go there to search for clues only to discover that the Pandora arrived first. They try to help fight them off but are quickly outmatched by the beasts due to their lack of experience and skill. Then they get saved by a teacher from Minerva or their future teammates.

      That’s all I’m revealing so far.

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    • Hey, uh, it’s me again.

      So I’ve recently decided to make some changes to EK. Mainly I’m changing the antagonists.

      Instead of a knockoff Salem’s Faction, I’m thinking the main villain would be a sapient Pandora with the traits of a human, who is also a complete psychopath.

      The Pandora themselves would also be changed...kind of. They’ll be getting a different origin story (as well as the Arcanes and demihumans), and can also evolve, developing new forms and abilities in order to counteract any obstacles that may get in the way of their goal to consume Ether.

      But other than their origins and that they evolve, they’re pretty much the same as before.

      As for the other antagonists? Still working on it.

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    • Gotcha. Interesting, how would being human change the Pandora's goals and all?

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    • Well, he can easily blend in with normal people and allow him to walk around in broad daylight unnoticed.

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    • Ahh

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    • Yup.

      He also wants to tear down civilization through any means, causing chaos and anarchy and turning the system into a feeding ground for the Pandora, though he mainly works from the shadows as he isn’t all that powerful. In fact, part of his own influence is why there are so many other antagonists in the story looking to cause trouble.


      ....I think I’ve said too much, but whatever.

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    • Now I’d like to take a second to talk about some other thing I’ve been working on: RWBY rewrites for my own little fanfic universe.

      [1]

      Whaddya think?

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    • I'm iffy on the Silver Eyes bit. To me they already feel a bit too strong, so adding on something akin to the Avatar state seems a bit too much, especially when the primary threat is already weak to them. 

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    • Eh, that’s why I added a couple limitations.

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    • Hey uh, so I know I haven’t really updated about my story in a while and you’re probably wondering what happened (or just forgot). Anyway, see, I kind of put it on hold for now. I’m currently considering some new ideas and major changes to the story (changes to the cast, world, lore, etc) and still haven’t fully decided if I want to implement them or not. It’s taking quite a while for me to decide.

      In the meantime, I’ve started to focus on developing some other story ideas of mine. So...yeah. That’s why I haven’t updated in a long while. Hope you understand and all that.

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    • No worries! If you need to swap to other stuff, that's totally understandable!

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    • Great, thanks, glad we’re clear.

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    • A FANDOM user
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