Hi. So I’m writing a series called ‘Elysian Knights’. It takes place on a planet called Azura where some kids go to a school to learn how to fight monsters called Pandora. It’s supposed to take inspiration from RWBY.
But I have a problem: I wonder if it’s too inspired from RWBY, and by that I mean if it’s basically a ripoff, which I’m not trying to make.
Hey! Just went through some of the links on the wiki. Seems fun!!
I definitely see some similarities to RWBY, the Hand of the Dawn and the Therians particularly some to mind as inspired by Salem's group and the Faunus. I really like the concept of the vargr, that drew me the most.
I'd def look at setting a theme to the story first, often times people forget that every story has a message and it should be one of the first things looked into when writing it, to tie everyone together in a neat way.
For example, Jedi Fallen Order carries the themes of guilt and accepting the past, so all characters revolve around those themes in some way.
I did realize that I never really had a proper theme in mind, so I mainly settled for “good vs evil, light vs dark” etc, but that’s just laziness.
Another story idea I have, Aeterna Noctis, mainly has the theme of fear and overcoming it, so I’ll see what I can do with Elysian Knights. Considering the struggle against the Pandora, I should be able to come up with something revolving around that.
So to answer my question by the way, do you think EK is creative enough or is it too much like a RWBY knockoff? You uh, didn’t really answer that all that much
Sorry! As far as I've read, some concepts are starting to veer to getting too close to certain RWBY character, I'd say. Lazarus is a bit too close to Hazel from the description, for example. Fleshing out the culture and world may help with that, but from character descriptions some are similar to the point where it's pretty noticeable.
Basically, an event happened which caused Bella and Ava’s childhood friend to disappear. They go to Minerva Academy to learn how to fight so they can find her and are put on a team of 9 (I changed it but haven’t made the edit yet). In their school days they are forced to deal with monsters, terrorists, their own personal struggles and worse.
However, I did think of replacing the terrorist organization with one that worships the Pandora, I’m still considering it and haven’t fully decided though. There’s also a plenty of other villains I thought of.
Hmmmmm.....In a monastery though? I still don’t see how the main team would form in there. Maybe I’ll stick with the academy setting but add in something where they try to look for people who may know. Is that good?
Well yeah, maybe. It was there because EK is supposed to be a RWBY-inspired series and I wanted to make a team. Hell with the story I have planned I really have no other ideas for the setting that I like.
Then, what about this for a possible suggestion? Bella and Ava decide to head towards a village and see if there’s any clues regarding the whereabouts of their missing friend. But when they arrive, the village is being attacked by the Pandora. So, maybe they meet some of their future teammates while fighting off the Pandora?
Well, the previous idea I had was that Bella and Ava walk through the streets to the airport and take a ship to Minerva, because the original plan was for them to go to the Academy to begin with. I bet I could fit in your idea somewhere though. Maybe.
Okay so I think I’ve got a theme in mind now for Elysian Knights.
Basically it revolves around protecting those you love/innocent people or stuff like that. I think it kinda fits considering Bella and Ava’s motives as well as those of the main antagonist, and Athena Blade’s goal to protect the Empyrean System from threats.
So in EK, Arcanes can summon something called a Soul Shield in addition to a Soul Arm. Soul Shields are basically stationary force fields of life energy (known as Ether) that the wielder can use to protect themselves from damage.
Kinda wonder if this is too similar to Aura, but maybe not.
So, how much of RWBY concepts were you going to include in Elysian Knights? Because so far, you’re planning on including your own original takes on the following. The Grimm, Faunus, Huntsman Academies, Semblances, Aura, and Teams. Were you also going to include the Relics, Dust, Magic, and the Maidens In Elysian Knights?
Hey guys, I haven’t gotten to work yet on the story (too lazy and distracted with other things rn), so instead I thought I’d show you an older version as proof I am actually working on Elysian Knights.
Do note that it’s actually pretty unfinished though. Anyway, here.
The attack happened in the dead of night. No-one could’ve seen it coming.
It was just a calm, peaceful night in the town on Snowfall, on the snowy world of Heimur. Light snow descended slowly from the black starry sky, the moonflowers illuminated the snow-covered fields with soft turquoise-colored light, and there was barely a predator in sight.
And then, the Pandora came for them.
Right before all this happened, the Camellias were resting in their home. It was a family of four: the mother and father, and two children. Both twins. One twin had white hair with cobalt blue eyes. She was Bella. And the girl’s sister, Ava, had black hair with yellow eyes in contrast. Since their mother was a Therian, and their father was human, Bella and Ava each had a white fox tail, and a pair of white fox ears on the tops of their heads in place of normal human ears. The two girls were only 5 when it happened. They were just sleeping soundly in their shared bed....
Then, pain shot through their heads like hot needles stabbing into their skulls, jolting them awake. They immediately shot upward from their bed and clutched their heads. It was their Arcane senses warning them that danger was close.
“AHHG! It hurts!!” Bella cried.
“Make it stop!” Ava whimpered.
There was a knock at the door. A second later, a woman with long white hair burst into the room, looking deathly concerned. “Bella! Ava! Are you alright!?”
It was a cool Sunday afternoon in the city of Andromeda, Corinth. The streets were abuzz with the sounds of chatter and the noises of passing vehicles, along with the roar of the spaceships flying by high over the heads of the citizens below, who were just going about their business.
Amidst the streets, a certain pair of Half-Therian twins were walking across the sidewalk. One had short black hair and yellow eyes, and was almost skipping across the pavement in excitement. The other had shoulder-length white hair and blue eyes, who was walking with her hands in her pockets and head hanging low, trying to not glance up at the people around her. She could practically feel their eyes on them both.
“This is so exciting!” Ava exclaimed. “We’re finally going to the academy! I can’t wait!”
Bella said nothing. She had been deep in thought the moment the ship had dropped them off from Heimur. She and Ava were about to attend Minerva Academy, a place where young Arcanes like them could learn how to wield their powers and protect the innocent and those they loved.
But unlike her sister who was full of excitement and anticipation, Bella was instead burdened by doubt and fear. What would they think of them when they arrived to the school? What people would she and Ava be on a team with? Would they like them? What if Bella did something which got both of them expelled?
Yes, Bella and Ava chose to attend this school by their own choice, and Bella wanted to learn how to protect Ava. But...would she be able to when the time came?
The whole idea seemed so crazy now that she thought about it. They were going to a school, far away from their home and their aunt and uncle to learn how to fight and kill Pandora, the monsters which had been relentlessly terrorizing humanity for generations and seemed to be practically endless in numbers, and would be away from their home town AND those left they cared about for likely a very long time. To learn how to kill things.
And, yeah, she wanted to protect Ava, and reunite with her lifelong friend....but as doubt began to fill her mind, she couldn’t help but ask herself: “Can I really do it?”
The voice of her sister brought Bella back to reality. She turned to the direction of the voice, and found herself face-to-face with her sister’s concerned expression.
If you do decide to use that village idea for Elysian Knights, would this be an acceptable suggestion?
Basically, Bella and Ava arrive at the entrance to the village, but they’re soon stopped by one of the guards, since he/she is suspicious of outsiders and thinks that Bella and Ava are there cause trouble. Shortly afterwards, the residents come under attack from the Pandora, and they ignore the guard’s protests, quickly making their way into the village to deal with the Pandora.
Just a possible idea, but it’s ultimately your call on whether to incorporate it in the story or not.
I was actually thinking of changing the idea a bit. Instead of a village, it would be a town near Bella and Ava’s. They go there to search for clues only to discover that the Pandora arrived first. They try to help fight them off but are quickly outmatched by the beasts due to their lack of experience and skill. Then they get saved by a teacher from Minerva or their future teammates.
So I’ve recently decided to make some changes to EK. Mainly I’m changing the antagonists.
Instead of a knockoff Salem’s Faction, I’m thinking the main villain would be a sapient Pandora with the traits of a human, who is also a complete psychopath.
The Pandora themselves would also be changed...kind of. They’ll be getting a different origin story (as well as the Arcanes and demihumans), and can also evolve, developing new forms and abilities in order to counteract any obstacles that may get in the way of their goal to consume Ether.
But other than their origins and that they evolve, they’re pretty much the same as before.
As for the other antagonists? Still working on it.
He also wants to tear down civilization through any means, causing chaos and anarchy and turning the system into a feeding ground for the Pandora, though he mainly works from the shadows as he isn’t all that powerful. In fact, part of his own influence is why there are so many other antagonists in the story looking to cause trouble.
I'm iffy on the Silver Eyes bit. To me they already feel a bit too strong, so adding on something akin to the Avatar state seems a bit too much, especially when the primary threat is already weak to them.
Hey uh, so I know I haven’t really updated about my story in a while and you’re probably wondering what happened (or just forgot). Anyway, see, I kind of put it on hold for now. I’m currently considering some new ideas and major changes to the story (changes to the cast, world, lore, etc) and still haven’t fully decided if I want to implement them or not. It’s taking quite a while for me to decide.
In the meantime, I’ve started to focus on developing some other story ideas of mine. So...yeah. That’s why I haven’t updated in a long while. Hope you understand and all that.