In a space of pure whiteness, the giant blocky title and a certain rose emblem drop from the sky to the ground, where the four miniaturized members of Team RWBY pop out from behind it to smile, wave and adopt poses for the audience while an unseen speaker announces the show as: "RWBY CHIBI"!
Neptune Vasilias walks in the as Yang releases a loud belch that shakes the room and catches everyone's attention.
Neptune: Yang, you are so uncouth.
Yang: (cough) What? I'm plenty couth. I've got couth coming out of my ears.
Neptune: Hm... you know what your problem is?
Yang: Heh, what? I'm too awesome? I make this look easy? I care too much? You could stop me any time.
Neptune: You're a tomboy.
Yang: What did you say?!
Ruby: Uh oh...
Neptune: You should try and be more of a lady. Like Ruby! So sweet, always trying to make others feel good.
Ruby: Maybe we should talk about something else? (laughing nervously) Does anybody want a cake? I can make a cake!
Neptune: And Weiss. She's way more cultured than you are.
Weiss: It's true, I am.
Neptune: Or Nora, the way she boops you on the nose.
Neptune: Just adorable. Right now, you are NOT adorable. Like, at all. Get it together, girl. And who knows, I might even ask you out on a date.
Yang storms over to Neptune, teeth and fists clenched, audibly trembling with rage. Neptune adopts an expression of regret before Yang punches him out of the room. The sound of Neptune striking and breaking something is heard.
Nora: Well I think she's adorable.
Yang poses proudly, while Ruby smiles at her.
Torchwick: Are you feeling slow and uncool?
Taiyang: I'm listening.
Torchwick: Then you need a shot of TorchQuik Energy Drink
A logo reading TorchQuik Energy Drink appears in the air, and barely visible text appears at the edge of the pool.
The fine print reads "SURGEON GENERAL'S WARNING: THE CONTENTS OF THIS CAN IS A CLASS 5 BIOCHEMICAL HAZARD. TOXIC. DO NOT DRINK. HIGHLY FLAMMABLE. CONTACT WITH SKIN: FLUSH WITH WATER AND CONTACT YOUR LOCAL POISON CONTROL CENTER. TORCHQUIK ENERGY, LCC. NOT HELD RESPONSIBLE. NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR UNAPPROVED USE. YOU SEE, NEO, I TOLD YOU NO ONE READS THE FINE PRINT!"
'Torchwick: It'll fire you up ...fast!
The logo changes to say It'll fire you up ...fast!
Qrow Branwen walks into the scene wearing a swimsuit.
Nora, Taiyang and Sun try the drink and immediately spit it out. Nora does so into a pot that immediately withers.
The fine print changes to "AND BESIDES, THAT SURGEON GENERAL GUY IS A WIMP. THIS PLAN IS PERFECT. IT'S YOU AND ME, KIDDO. WE'RE GONNA BE RICH! BWAHAHA! YOU KNOW, I'M REALLY IMPRESSED WITH THE WAY YOU CAN TYPE AND STILL HOLD UP THOSE LITTLE SIGNS. WAIT, ARE YOU STILL TYPING? STOP DICTATING! I SAID STOP!"
Qrow tries the drink and shrugs, much to the surprise of Neo and Torchwick.
'Torchwick and Neo are standing in a parking space filled with motorcycles, the words "CRAZY ROMAN'S STEALS AND WHEELS" appearing above their heads, while the words "BAD CREDIT? NO PROBLEM!" appearing under.
Torchwick: Come on down to Crazy Roman's for insane deals on wheels!
Neo pulls out a sign that reads "MAD AS A HATTER", while Yang walks into the scene.
Torchwick: Take advantage while you can, our prices are absolutely unhinged!
Yang tries out one of the bikes, only for it to immediately fall apart. Yang glares at Roman.
Roman and Neo are standing at a table in a room filled with bookshelves.
Roman: Have you been injured by toxic energy drinks? Or defective motorcycles?
Neo pulls out a sign that says "SHAMEFUL!" while shaking her head
Roman: I'm Roman Torchwick, and I will fight for you.
The words "Torchwick & Neopolitan Attorneys at law" appear under their heads. A disclaimer then appears below it stating, "Not licensed in Atlas, or the other 3 Kingdoms of Remnant."
Yang, Tai, Nora, Sun and Zwei walk into the room, looking angry.
Roman: Well here's some satisfied clients now!
Yang: This'll be satisfying alright.
The words "CALL NOW! 1-800-555-SUIT" appear at the top of the screen while everyone else closes in on Roman and Neo.
Roman: Uuuh, call for a free consultation today!
The angry "clients" launch themselves at the two villains just before the screen cuts to a television test pattern of red, white, black, and yellow.
Jaune walks out of a shop and onto the sidewalk, looking happy and holding a candy bar in his left hand.
Jaune: Why do I feel like I'm forgetting something?
Jaune eyes his candy bar and gasps.
Jaune: Oh no, did I pay for this candy bar?!
Sun and Neptune, wearing fake mustaches, jump into the scene.
Neptune: Hey! You! Stop right there!
Jaune: (panicking) Oh no, I was afraid this would happen one day. I've gone rogue!
Jaune runs away from Sun and Neptune, sobbing.
Jaune attempts to hide between various pillars.
Jaune: Oh they're gonna throw the book at me. Maybe even two books! I have to stay in stealth mode.
Camera pans out to reveal Ruby.
Ruby: Hey Jaune, watcha doin'?
Jaune hides behind Ruby.
Jaune: I've gone rogue, Ruby.
Ruby slowly inches away from Jaune.
Ruby: Okay, I don't know what that means.
Jaune: It means I'm a wanted man! One wrong move and it all came crashing down.
Ruby: Yeah hehe, still no idea what you're talkin' about.
Sun and neptune walk into the scene and strike a pose
Sun: Hey man, didn't you hear us? Stop!
Jaune crawls on his knees before hiding behind Ruby again, peaking out above her head.
Jaune: (gasp) It's the fuzz, they tracked me down. I have to go.
Jaune runs away from Sun and Neptune
Jaune: Tell the world my story!
Ruby: I will! What was the story again?
In his room, Jaune packs his bags, adding among other things: Pumpkin Pete's, A miniature barn model, Zwei, a stuffed teddy bear, a cookie, a compass and a drill
Jaune: My old life is over, I-I-I-I have to start a whole new life. I know, I'll call myself (waves hand) Felipe
Camera pans out to reveal Lie Ren, causing Jaune to scream and dive under the bed.
Jaune: I'm a fugitive, Ren. Public enemy number one. A man without A face. My home is the night! Also call me Felipe, that's my thing now.
A knock is heard coming from the other side of the room.
Neptune: Hey, is Jaune in there?
Jaune is standing on a bookshelf, next to the open window, holding a rope made out of multiple cloths. Ren stands next to the bookshelf.
Ren: Do you mean Felipe?
Sun: Who's Felipe?
Jaune: I'll never forget your help, my friend.
Jaune throws the rope to Ren, raising one fist into the air defiantly
Jaune: But you must forget me, I was never here.
Jaune grabs hold of the rope and prepares to jump
Jaune: I now join the underworld!
Jaune jumps, causing the rope to fly out of Ren's hands
Ren: Was I supposed to tie that to something?
Jaune can be heard screaming as he plummets to the ground, just before Sun and Neptune walk into the room
Sun: Yo Ren, you seen Jaune? He forgot his wallet at the store.
Jaune: You'll never catch me, Johnny Law! (maniacal laughter)
Sun, Neptune and Ren look at eachother confused.