In a space of pure whiteness, the giant blocky title and a certain rose emblem drop from the sky to the ground, where the four miniaturized members of Team RWBY pop out from behind it to smile, wave and adopt poses for the audience while an unseen speaker announces the show as: "RWBY CHIBI"!
Neptune: Junior detectives!
Sun approaches Jaune Arc, who is strolling on the pavement sipping a drink.
Sun: Hey man, how's it going?
Jaune: Oh, uh hey, man. Uh, you're... talking to me. Never thought I'd see the day. Uhh, good, I'm good. Great, actually. I'm okay! How, uh- How are things with you?
Neptune sneaks up behind Jaune and slaps the beverage out of his hand and onto the ground. Sun puts on a fake mustache, flashes his Junior Detective badge and points accusingly at Jaune.
Jaune: Huh, hey!
Jaune: What? Officer, no! I was framed!
Sun: Likely story!
Neptune: (Comes out of hiding, wearing a fake mustache) And right next to a trash can? Do you have no heart?
Jaune: No! I'm a good person, I swear! Look, I have a library card! (reaches into his pocket for library card)
Sun: Whoa! Look out!
Neptune: We're going into lock-down! (tackles Jaune out of frame)
Indistinct fighting noises and whimpering are heard as Neptune and Jaune fight.
Jaune: Ow, ow!
Neptune: Gah! Oh, my goggles!
Neptune's fake mustache is knocked off his face and floats down onto the ground next to Sun.
Sun: Oh, now you've done it! (jumps in and joins the melee)
Jaune: Why don't I learn?!
Team JNPR sit down in front of a makeshift stage with a wooded backdrop.
Ozpin: (Speaking off-camera) And now, Team RWBY presents: an original stage play, entitled Little Red Riding Hood. Once upon a time, there was an adorable girl who went by the name of Little Red Riding Hood.
Ruby: (jumping onto the stage) What is good in the hood!?
Ozpin: Loved by many and known for her colorful hood, Little Red was on a very important mission: To deliver baked goods to her dear, sweet grandmother.
Ruby: Yeah, we tried to put her in a home but she wasn't havin' it, so... gotta go feed her.
Yang: (jumping onto stage, wearing glasses) Hey Red, make sure to bring grandma some produce this time! These old legs can't run on chocolate chips alone! (running on the spot)
Ruby: Yang! This isn't your scene!
Yang: (donning a fake nose and mustache with her glasses) And these aren't even real glasses! Heyo! (prances backwards off the stage)
Team JNPR laugh quietly in the audience.
Ruby: (grumbling) Eh, amateurs.
Ozpin: But as she frolicked through the woods to her grandmother's cottage, she came across a creature who had more sinister intentions...
Enter Blake Belladonna from above, suspended by a rope.
Ozpin: A Big Bad Wolf!
Blake: Okay, why am I the wolf? And why am I flying?
Ruby: Duh, because you're half-animal! This part was made for you!
Blake: What about Zwei?
Ruby: Zwei? He's the stagehand! Plus, the wolf's a bad guy, and you can't be mad at that face!
Cut to Zwei, who is holding onto the rope that is suspending Blake in the air. Zwei lets go of the rope and smiles for the camera.
Blake: (falls face-first onto the floor) I can be mad at that face... (gets up and brushes herself off)
Ozpin: The Big Bad Wolf wanted to gobble up Little Red and her treats, but she had made one terrible mistake! Little Red Riding Hood was a trained warrior with a deadly mechanical scythe!
Ruby: (brandishing Crescent Rose) It's also a gun!
Blake: (fearfully) Is that a prop, or...?
Ruby: Step off, Wolfy! (cocking her weapon)
Ozpin: And so, the Big Bad Wolf decided to retreat.
Blake: (laughs nervously) Uhh... Right...
Blake gingerly leaves the stage.
Ozpin: But the wolf wasn't going to give up that easily. She had a plan...
Ruby: SCENE CHANGE!
Zwei runs onto the stage and changes the backdrop by kicking the woods off the stage, revealing a new backdrop of the interior Little Red's grandmother's cottage. Enter Blake, carried by Zwei.
Ozpin: She took a shortcut to Little Red's grandmother's house, where she found the old woman sleeping soundly in her bed.
The bed is conspicuously empty.
Ruby: (off-screen) Yang!
Yang: (sliding onto stage) Did somebody say grandma?!
Blake: You're lookin' good for your age.
Yang: I work out!
Blake: Uh, aren't you supposed to be in bed?
Yang: (prancing around the stage) Who's got time for sleep when I've prepared this great song and dance number?! And-a-one, and-a-two–
Ruby: Stop upstaging everyone and get in the bed!
Yang: This is my one scene, get off my back!
Blake: Just get in bed, grandma.
Yang: Easy there, Wolfy! You haven't even bought me dinner yet! Heyo!
Team JNPR laugh in the audience.
Ruby: (annoyed grumbling)
Blake: Okay, I'm just going to move this along and eat her.
Blake walks calmly up to Yang and pretends to bite her hand.
Ozpin: And just like that, the Big Bad Wolf gobbled the grandmother up!
Blake: (with Yang's hand still in her teeth) There. Now you're dead.
Yang: (dramatically) Oh, woe is me! I was too young to die! Despite what many thought, seeing as I was a grandmother...
Blake kicks Yang off-stage, takes her glasses and gets into the bed.
Ozpin: The wolf disguised herself as Little Red's grandmother, then laid in bed, waiting to ambush the unsuspecting child...
Ruby: Hi grandma! Thanks for the birthday cards! Dad told me to bring you food!
Ozpin: Now, the wolf needed only to draw Little Red closer.
Blake: Hey, come closer.
Ozpin: But as the young girl drew near, she noticed something was wrong...
Ruby: Gee grandma, what big eyes you have!
Blake: Wow, what an insensitive thing to say to your loved ones.
Ruby: And what big ears you have!
Blake: You know I'm really self-conscious about them. Thanks for bringing it up.
Ruby: And grandma, what big teeth you have!
Blake: Okay, you're just a rude little brat. I'm gonna kill you.
Blake pounces at Ruby.
Yang: Whoa! Smells like someone's got some Big Bad Breath!
Blake pauses mid-pounce, suspended in the air momentarily, before falling down.
Ruby: Yang, this is a sad scene! The audience can't be sad if they're laughing!
Ozpin: Umm... Then the... woodsman entered?
Weiss: Why do I have to be the woodsman, again? (pulls out Blowhard) And why does this weapon have two axe blades? You can't even aim!
Port: (off-screen) Ho-ho! Personal preference!
Ruby: Because we're best friends! And best friends have each other's backs!
Blake: But wait, I thought Red Riding Hood had a scythe. Why does she need a woodsman?
Ruby: You guys are ruining my vision!
Weiss: Who wrote this stupid story anyway?
Ruby: I did, thank you very much!
Yang: (scoffs) No wonder. Red Riding Hood's a total Mary Sue character.
Ruby: (thunderstruck) WHAT!?
Yang: "Loved by many and known for her hood?" You totally based her off yourself!
Ruby: (pulling on her hair in frustration) I like to think that art is open to interpretation!
Ozpin: Wait a minute... Aren't you kids all supposed to be in class?
Ruby: Cheese it!
Exit all except Zwei, who takes center stage and bows.