"Cousins of Chaos" consists of two shorts:
"Cousins of Chaos" - In which Jaune Arc tries to prove that he is worthy of joining the Cousins of Chaos.
In a space of pure whiteness, the giant blocky title and a certain rose emblem drop from the sky to the ground, where the four miniaturized members of Team RWBY pop out from behind it to smile, wave and adopt poses for the audience while an unseen speaker announces the show as: "RWBY CHIBI"!
Penny: Oh, hello there, fluffy friend!
Suddenly Ozpin pops out from a nearby bush.
Ozpin: Penny, no! Don't pet the Grimm!
Penny: But why not?
Ozpin: (taking out a long, red and white hat) Not a pet, not a pat, none of those over him. He's a villain, a beast, he's a cold-blooded Grimm.
A curtain transitions the scene to a club, with Penny and the Beowolf standing up to the microphone.
Penny: But he's good for a laugh. He could tell me a joke!
Ozpin: Not at all, no siree, he's more likely to chirp.
Suddenly, a trapdoor opens up beneath Penny and the Beowolf, and the fall through, landing harmlessly on a couch.
Penny: We can watch funny shows! I can cuddle him tight!
Ozpin: He'll keep changing the channel, and he'll do so all night.
The Beowolf spots the remote next to him and presses some buttons on it. The scene transitions again with Penny and the Beowolf sitting in a classroom with Jaune Arc, Pyrrha Nikos, and Cardin Winchester.
Penny: He can meet all my friends, all the treachers and students!
Ozpin: He would snap and he'd bite, he would hardly be prudent.
The Beowolf bites down on Jaune's arm, causing him to yelp in pain. Ozpin throws his hat to the screen as the scene transitions to the library. Penny holds a book titled "OH, BEHAVE".
Penny: He can learn to behave, I can teach him good manners.
Penny holds out the book in front of the Beowolf, but it takes the book and eats it.
Ozpin: Sadly, no, my sweet girl, he's as dumb as a hammer.
Penny sadly slumps down. The scene transitions back into the forest, the Beowolf walks up to Penny and holds out a yellow flower.
Ozpin: He's a monster, a savage, and you're just far too kind. You must say your goodbyes, you must leave him behind.
The flower droops in the Beowolf's hand.
Penny: (sadly) Get along, little doggie, it is now plain to see, you and I are too different, it was not meant to be...
Ozpin and Penny both walk away. The Beowolf turns out to be Mike the whole time as he speaks.
Mike: What a hassle, a bother, what a pain in the neck. That girl drove me crazy, and now I'm a wreck. (cries)
Marty the Beowolf slides in.
Marty: Well, good riddance to her, she ain't worth all the trouble. You got your old pal, Marty, to cheer you up on the double!
Mike: Dude, please stop rhyming.
Jaune is seen on the sidewalk about to cross the street. Suddenly, he hear's a revving noise and sees a green, blue, and red motorcycles riding down the street with an insignia labeled "COUSINS OF CHAOS" decorated on each of them. The riders are revealed to be Sun Wukong on the red motorcyle, Neptune Vasilias on the blue, and Lie Ren on the green, all wearing biker hats. They drive past Jaune, who watches in awe.
Sun: Cousins of Chaos, dismount!
They all do so.
Jaune: (starry-eyed) This is so cool! How long have you guys been a biker gang?
Ren: About a week? Give or take a week.
Jaune: Can I join your cool gang? Please?
Sun: Pffft, only bad boys can join the Cousins of Chaos. You gotta prove you're a rebel, like us! Cousins, sound off!
Ren: I have a library book that is three weeks overdue, and I have no immediate plans of returning it.
Neptune: Yeah, I went through the fifteen items or less checkout. Guess what? Had twenty, regret nothing.
Sun: The last time I used the bathroom, I didn't wash my hands afterwards.
Sun: Alright Jaune, impress us.
Jaune: Sure, um, so many rebellious things I've done, hard to choose just one. Um, (clears throat) I may, or may not, be wearing underwear...
Ren: Ooh, a mystery.
Sun: (chuckles) Okay, welcome to the Cousins of Chaos! Congratulations, put her there!
Sun holds out his hand for Jaune to shake. Jaune remembers what Sun said about not washing his hands from earlier.
Jaune: (nervously smiling) I'll pass, thanks.
Sun: Rebel move! Nice! (gives him a thumbs up) Alright Cousins of Chaos, let's ride!
Sun: Eyooooo! Cousins, unite!
Neptune: Wait, don't forget your skin cream! You know how that wind can dry out your face.
Sun: Oh, good point! Cousins of Chaos, moisturize!
The trio steps off to the side to moisturize while Jaune walks up to admires their bikes.
Jaune: Thank you so much guys! I promise you won't regret thi--
Suddenly, Jaune accidently knocks over the bikes, and they all fall over to their sides.
Sun: Our choppers!
Jaune: Oh, it's okay! It's just a scratch! I can fix it!
The motorcycles suddenly explode. Jaune gets covered in soot and lies down on the ground knocked out. The Cousins stare at their wrecked bikes.
Ren: Oh, man, my library book was in there...
During the credts, Sun can be heard singing the following:
Cousins of Chaos, we are the best!
We'll be better friends, than the rest!
We got Jaune and Ren and Neptune too!
Who could be the next Cousin? It could be you!
- In the segment, "Don't Pet the Grimm", is a reference to The Dr. Seuss' children book series wherein they can only talk in rhymes.
- The hat that Ozpin wears is also a reference to another one of Dr. Seuss' works, The Cat in the Hat.
- The name "Cousins of Chaos" is a joke on Sons of Anarchy, a TV series about a motorcycle club.
- Michael Jones improvised the Cousins of Chaos song that plays during the closing credits.
- Main article: Cousins of Chaos/Image Gallery