Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-27144409-20170705210718/@comment-25479664-20171114142120

HookshotHotshot wrote: Ok. I'm going to try to go over both of these, but for future reference, Senketz, it's appreciated if you wait a while to post OCs if someone's recently posted one of their own.

That aside, let's get into this, starting with Tellurium.

For the helmet; Metal or cloth? I found different versions on the Google Image Search. Just curious.

Um, as far as his Combat School history goes, did Tellurium go to a lower-level school first, or did he just jump right into Shade academy? Shade is Vacuou's Beacon, but did he go through Vacuou's version of Signal Academy?

Do you have any info on the other two members of TMBR? Names? Overall interactions with Tellurium besides "they get along"?

The axes seem like a waste of metal and time, as well as a very dangerous axe to be using as…an axe. Grenades have been plausibly shown to go off with a shock (.308 rifle rounds detonated grenades without the Blasting Cap, for example), so using it as an axe may not be the smartest thing. And if that cord gets caught on anything, you're either doing a lot of damage to your aura or blowing a chunk out of your leg. Also you probably couldn't carry too many of them. Not saying they can't work, but there are a few flaws with the design you laid out.

Ballpark the maximum explosive force the Semblance can dish out for me, please?

How does Tellurium store the ammo for the tri-barrel version? Where's the mag kept?

You mention an overload in the Semblance section. If Tell overloads, what happens? Forceful release of the stored energy? Complete energy dissipation?

For your Tier One of the Semblance, you say that activation of the Semblance increases his own striking power and causes small explosions when the user's hit. This means your Semblance now does three things; absorb and release energy, cause explosions when hit, and increase striking power with the amount of hits stored. I'd say pick one.

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Ember

Please specify what kind of Faunus he is. Is he a Lizard faunus, or do I have to get mad at you for making a Dragon Faunus?

…Not sure where we stand on the whole "are certain Faunus' cold blooded" issue. I would guess they're still warm blooded, being mostly human, so unless he's camping in the snow, that heater isn't going to be a huge deal. Also, it means he's storing either Fire Dust or some other heating element next to his chest, meaning one good shot, and he may just explode.

Where is Vacip? What Kingdom is it part of? What combat school did he go to? Does he have any siblings? Did his home life effect him in any way? You may want to try to put more into Background in the future.

Not all large characters have to have a temper (or at least a larger than average temper). Not saying he needs to be a gentle giant, or even that he needs to be gentle, but is there a reason he's so touchy besides "Big guy big temper"?

So he's prone to mood swings? While being 275 lbs and 7 freaking feet tall at age 17? How did accidents not happen at some point? Why is that not in the character's Backstory? Why is he so touchy?

Now where the heck did Engineering come from for his Skills? He doesn't sound like he would have the patience necessary for drawing or building things; if things piss him off he seems like the type to break them instead of calmly work things out or problem-solve (like an engineer may need to be at times).

A mutation? Now we're treading on slightly thinner ice as we approach the Snowflake Zone. How much of his body is scaled? Does it REALLY have to be? Does it play into his story in any way at all, or is it just for effect?

Is that big inward-curving area of the sword the dust launcher? What's that orange orb?

I have a few other nitpicks, but there's the gist of it. And again, wait a while next time. This would've been easier if there was time to give each character their own discussion, instead of cramming both  reviews into one post He didn't have time to enroll incombat school before he was able to get into Shade (he was 16 when he definitively decided to become a huntsman), but he did have some tutoring and both formal and informal training from his uncle.

hIS HELMET IS METAL (ITS BASICALY tCHANKA'S HELM

I made this OC a while ago but I came back to the team recently. At the time I hadn't decided on the other two members yet, but now I have. To be honest there aren't many interesting possible interactions with them that I can think of right now, but when I make their OCs I'll go more into that (BTW the other two members are Baliyo Kansi and Rozwainy Grzmot).