User blog:CarusELumen/THE RWBY RAP

It started when I was convincing a friend to explain why the president of my old high school Anime Club should have one of their weekly meetings be based on RWBY. I gave him stats, histories, even a few stretched truths about how the fandom has been clamoring for a video game since the first trailer to sway the leader into going along. (He ultimately did, but only when the DVD is released.) The only thing missing from this pitch, he told me, was a rap intro.

Thus, ladies & gentlemen, this four-minute fan-made song was born, & my dignity was lost forever...

(DISCLAIMER: Before reading, try to imagine a beat for yourself. I personally want to make a remix of the trailer songs to put each verse to, but I'm no good at that, so I had to create one in my head. If you're bad at that, I'd suggest going here & getting some beats to rock your head to. Might need to take out some words or drag 'em out so it fits - especially the lyrics for Red Like Roses I included for posterity's sake - but I'm cool with that if it helps your verbal flow.

(Oh, & because it wouldn't be a disclaimer without some egotistical boasting: MC CarusELumen is not responsible for any burns sustained by his sick fires or dropped hot objects.)

Ready? Here we go.

DJ DEADB3AR, SPIN THAT STUFF!

Red like roses fills my dreams and brings me to the place your rest...

Here's Ruby Rose, thorns a'prickling with her giant gun-scythe,

Chopping down on shadow monsters, goes out of her way to slice and dice!

Pull the child's hood down, raise the crimson cloak up,

And let Little Red Riding make these beasts scream like wolf cubs!

It's nothing compared to the bruises she gives these poor thugs

Who go and rob a Dust shop 'cause their mommies never gave 'em hugs.

Sympathy's for later, now it's time to unleash destruction;

Let loose the power of a Huntress-in-training's ruthless eruption!

Disrupting the crime, now chase Roman and his flaming bitch,

Get saved from his boomstick by the magic of Glynda Goodwitch,

And then Headmaster Ozpin asks, given all the bad guys she's beaten,

If she'd ever consider skipping some years to head over to Beacon.

(The scene is set, the players are ready...)

It's time to give them a test of death-defying already.

With these young warriors and this silver-eyed newbie,

We've got all the girls to represent our number one Team !

( RED, WHITE , BLACK , YELLOW ...)

Don't be shy; make some friends and say hello!

( RED, WHITE , BLACK , YELLOW ...)

Just don't mess with the best; our heroine and her fellows!

White is cold and always yearning, burdened by a royal test...

Here's Weiss Schnee; she's white, see, and all kinds of icy.

She's singing of a mirror when a giant appears so it can cleave

Her body in two, but she's not having any of that today,

Give her a scar? You just signed your death warrant - now come and meet your fate.

Despite her Dust blade powers, she's not prone to being very nice.

Anyone tripping on her bags are going to pay one heck of a price!

She's a spoiled little heiress to a rich daddy with a dark side.

Gives a remark that's snide, and she doesn't even think twice.

Prides herself on her smarts, but she never would've dreamed

She'd see eye-to-eye with Ruby and end up becoming a team.

Now she's forced to befriend her, and inside her whole plan is wrecked!

This Snow Angel tries to be the best, but she's far from perfect.

(The scene is set, the players are ready...)

It's time to give them a test of death-defying already.

With these young warriors and this silver-eyed newbie,

We've got all the girls to represent our number one Team !

( RED, WHITE , BLACK , YELLOW ...)

Don't be shy; make some friends and say hello!

( RED, WHITE , BLACK , YELLOW ...)

Just don't mess with the best; our heroine and her fellows!

Black the beast descends from shadows...

Here's Blake Belladonna, the black beauty fauna among the flora,

Wielding a sword that pistol-whips - it's a weaponized plethora!

Leaping on trains, fighting bots with her part-time partner, Adam.

Their synced strikes against the system makes spiders scream "Ah, damn!"

But she leaves the beastly guy to go and live her normal life

At a new school where her silent stares are sharper than a steak knife.

Despite all her distance, Ruby's oh-so-willing to persist,

Until they bond over books and how much they can get Weiss pissed.

She goes on to slay Yogi Bear from the shadows like a ninja of love,

Then they find the temple of relics as Ruby drops in from above.

Bow all for twitching, but her concentration is totally focused,

'Cause now we're gearing for a fight - girls, get locked and loaded!

(The scene is set, the players are ready...)

It's time to give them a test of death-defying already.

With these young warriors and this silver-eyed newbie,

We've got all the girls to represent our number one Team !

( RED, WHITE , BLACK , YELLOW ...)

Don't be shy; make some friends and say hello!

( RED, WHITE , BLACK , YELLOW ...)

Just don't mess with the best; our heroine and her fellows!

Yellow beauty burns gold...

Here's Yang Xiao Long, she's the gauntlet girl on fire,

Hunger Games steps aside; her yellow flames are even brighter

Than the techno-holo lights and the flash of enemy swords;

Why, the club owner's club gets busted by her burning force!

Now she and her sibling are heading off to learn some real moves,

Like how to fly over treetops before choosing a pony without hooves.

She approves the plan to move out with their clan rather than pan

The giant bird and its stingy friend right there with the just the back of her hand!

Nevertheless, her fists give the winged menace a blazing bite to eat,

It crashes and is trapped while she helps launch Ruby at the beast.

Staring at her ascent, she can't help but feel some pride

At her baby sister rising higher until she ends this Nevermore's life!

(The scene is set, the players are ready...)

It's time to give them a test of death-defying already.

With these young warriors and this silver-eyed newbie,

We've got all the girls to represent our number one Team !

( RED, WHITE , BLACK , YELLOW ...)

Don't be shy; make some friends and say hello!

( RED, WHITE , BLACK , YELLOW ...)

Just don't mess with the best; our heroine and her fellows!

Hmm, what's that? Oh, you're still here! Hey, hi! Thanks for reading all that, hopefully singing it in your head or something. Maybe even out loud, if you weren't in a public place. Wait, you were? Yeah, I can see those people in the background giving you some strange looks. Awkward...

In all seriousness, this isn't entirely done! You'll notice how I progressed through most of the episodes in the first half of Season 1, but I want the last twelve lines to be directed towards the other half, so in five more weeks, this should be finished!

It doesn't mean a thing if you guys don't tell me what I did or didn't do wrong - I'm focused on writing & only dabble in rapping, after all. Heck, you guys can support me with some rhymes of your own with each episode if you really want to, & I might use them for the future verse!

There are some credits, such as to my friend Tony Sunbird (Soon to join us as Tuscan Koal, I believe), my rapping inspirations like Eminem & Dan Bull, &... Actually, I think that's it. But if you guys comment & tell me what you thought, good or bad, I'll show my gratitude with you all for being honest, too!

To summarize: Thanks for reading this in the first place, sorry for the overabundance of colors & links making your eyes bleed, hope I didn't go on too long before of after the actual song, & I can't wait for Episode 11 tomorrow!

- Carus E. Lumen (AKA Caerulus Lux)