User blog:PerhapsTheOtherOne/Speculative Spitballing: Food Peacekeeping

WARNING! The following is a FAN-BASED PARODY! May contain speculation, but probably not! Please support official speculation blogs' release from other users!
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Hello, RWBY Wiki! We're back with another exciting installment of Speculative Spitballing! Emphasis on the "spitballing", and less on the "speculative"!

You've been warned, naysayers >:(

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Anyways, with that introduction out of the way, we can move onto business. As you can tell, we're gonna be talking about food. Specifically, the bloody (literally) possibilities of consumable-based warfare.

So, we've all seen the food fight in the beginning of Volume 2. We can agree that it was kinda awesome. No doubts about that.

But there's a bit of underlying stuff to be seen behind the scenes of that sequence. And NO, not behind-the-scenes as in cast interviews and commentary and that sorta thing.

No, we don't analyze the logical and reasonable around here.

We analyze the insane. The unbelievable. The so-crazy-there's-no-way-this-is-even-a-thing-but-it-is-somehow-WTF.

Yeah....... I'm just gonna get into this one already.

The Baseline
In the food fight, we see our two A-teams (since the crew somehow couldn't contend with having an A-team and a B-team) fighting it out with a determination not often seen in fight sequences involving food and other assorted cafeteria oddities.

Now, many will try and chalk all this up as Rule Of Funny, but we must remember that pretty much everything we've seen has an in-universe explanation.

Aura, as it were, is this series' lampshading of the fact that characters can dish out and soak up a whole heaping of damage. As our own Pyrrha Nikos put it.........

[[File:Pyrrha-Badge1111.png|thumb|left|160px|"Our weapons act as conduits for Aura. And our fetish toy--"

OKAY! That's enough info there!]]So there ya have it.

Everything that went on during the food fight is the result of a combination of Aura being channeled through their weapons (in this case fruits).

Oh yeah, and Semblance too. But I'm lazy and didn't feel like putting another image with an attempted humourous caption.

Hey, summer's almost over, and I don't have much time left. Can ya really blame me? :P

Anyways..... onto........ THE POSSIBILITIES!

Possible Outcomes
There is only one thing I have to say........

FOOD WARS!

As we can clearly see here, even the lowly baguette (although those things can break adamantium if you leave them out for a few weeks) can be used as an effective Lethal Joke Weapon.

And yes, I did quote another trope. DEAL WITH IT MOTHERTRUCKERS! >:D

Onto the point! So, seeing as how even food can be turned into something straight outta Smash Bros., one has to wonder........... What other uses could it have?

I speculate (and I know how hard it is to believe on a blog like this) that, in the future of RWBY, people will realize that they don't need to make complicated weapon systems to accompany them into the battlefield. Wars will be fought with the edible goods from the kitchen, saving precious resources to invest into things like entertainment, artificial flavours, and zoos where the animals will be set on fire and forced to please consumer zombies.