Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25555436-20150320010432/@comment-26018514-20150323004447

LiveandSound wrote: 22xander wrote:

Name: Nero Alexander

-Manipulating ''probability? Chances? Being able to fucking dodge bullets''? Make his bullets always land? Dude, remove that, remove that entirely, I don't fucking care if he's a gambler, that thing is fucking OP.

agreed

LiveandSound wrote:

-Only 1 Faunus Trait. You can't have ears and tail, either one or the other, but not both.

-Also, foxes are not black. There are no black foxes. Foxes are orange with white tips, not black with white tips. I agree an attempt should be made to limit to 1 or the other, but nothing explicitly has stated there is no "both" option. However, when you make a "marty stu" the best way to prevent this possibility is to work with the assumption "less is more". Figure out which trait makes sense by either which serves them more or fits their backstory better.

the "black fox" looks rather legit though live... it's a mutation:

https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSTDATKldYw52dku6Zmhw1TemWn8qjYzbqgnv0g9s4YrCWW8AJT

LiveandSound wrote:

-All that and he's just 16? Yeah fucking right.

-"He is able to whatever he wants and somehow get away with it". So, this cements it: He's a fucking Marty Stu. Send it to the void, that thing should not exist.

Overall Score: 1 out of 10, needs to be killed, burned, sent to the void, and never be seen again. again mostly agreed,

Overall Score: I might give it as high as 2 out of 10, most of it still needs to be rewritten, you could maybe recycle the backstory, traits, and weapons but that's about it.