Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-30530552-20171101175001/@comment-30530552-20171125232226

Okay, here's where judging begins (just so you know I'm not dead, I've been bogged down lately so I'm buckling down to get them done.)  First up is Ahpolki Inika with Rio Kurosawa.

Basic Info - 9/10 - “Scuba-bitch?” Gonna have to see about that one. Aside from that it all seems good. Hope you explain who Clay Kokonos is too. (EDIT: While you didn’t, I’m going to go for a guess and say he’s part of ZINC.)



Appearance - 14/20 - Aura color wise, I’m assuming “cherry blossom” is a shade of pink, and as for jasmine...that doesn’t tell me anything. Jasmine flowers have several color shades. Is it yellow? White of some level? Mask-wise...what type of mask? Full-length? Half-length? Drama mask, because she’s a fan of Phantom of the Opera? I’ll assume it’s a scuba-mask based on what was mentioned in ‘Gadgets.’ Gadgets section has a lot of interesting utilities, and it’ll be pretty interesting.



Backstory & Characteristics - 19/30 - So...am I to assume that when she rigged the airship to explode by accident, her father or some other engineer didn’t do routine maintenance and notice any problems? I’m pretty sure in most cases there will checks to prevent disasters like that. And she managed to get in and out without anyone noticing her...I’m not sure how I feel about that outside of skeptical. Based on what she was doing this whole time, I’m surprised she didn’t feel much sense of guilt given she committed manslaughter on a full airship crew and her own father. It also sounds like had her mother not stopped her from attending Haven, things might’ve turned around for her, but I suppose it’s one of those “what’s done is done” things. And then, if her mother got murdered by a mercenary, what would’ve been so special about her that required her to die by sending a merc? “Oh, she’s a rival botanist of mine and I hate how sickly sweet and kind she is when selling her wares, she needs to die just like her husband.” Unless she pissed off the wrong person, I don’t see how this could be the case. And I know she hated her mother, but to thank  someone for killing their parent takes a special kind of sadism. Was she a bit of a sociopath this whole time? Because it seems like at some point a screw fell loose emotionally. As for the Crimson Tides...are they a mercenary and assassin group? What sort of motivations do they have for doing what they do? Is it out of spite? Pleasure? For the money? A combination of these?

Aside from her lack of remorse and emotional capacity, I like what you did with personality, and it makes her very interesting. Likes and Dislikes make sense.   Trivia - 4/5 - Content for mother and father makes sense, though I feel you easily could’ve named them. Akane and the rest also make sense relationship-wise, still wish you had added her CNR references (which is “deep red” from what I’ve researched, last name means “water island”) but they were easy to find, this applies for all named people. Neolani means “heavenly mist” in Hawaiian, Marinus obviously relates to marine, as in the sea. Iskra means “spark,” which I guess could be yellowish-orange. And who is “The Razor?” If it’s Rio, then you missed adding that nickname. Overall, despite what you tried to do for the dolphin motifs all across, I think it still somehow got a bit overshadowed by certain other aspects, even if I can still sort of see it. I will also say that I barely see much of a difference between incarnation 2 and this current one, so if you could clarify on some of the differences, that would be great.  <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Weapon - 12/15 - Do the barbs space out from each branch? As for the actual barbs themselves, which way are they curving towards, presuming it’s in one direction? Overall, simple and effective weapon but those first bits are a teensy bit confusing. <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Semblance - 13/15 - Forgot to add Rio’s name, but that’s not worthy of taking points away. Tier 1 seems a little bit underpowered, and the fact it can’t register things past 10 feet, or moving objects are creatures seems a little much. 10 feet...I’m assuming it’d only be used when it’s too dark to see? And even then, that’d probably be a minimal amount of situations, not enough to make it evolve into something more fitting, in my opinion. Tier 2 seems much better in that regard, especially for a Semblance that only functions as a utility and nothing else. Overall, it’s effective and fits the theme, but I think you bogged yourself down a little too much in the beginning. <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Combat Info - 5/5 - All of it looks good.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Day to Day Life - +2 Recovery Points

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">9+14+19+4+12+13+5 = 76+2 = 78

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Total: 78 points.