Thread:Ragna the Bloodedge/@comment-10544474-20140303070850

I don't mean to be that guy. I don't mean to break hearts of anyone or hurt anyone. I know I'm not the best of people and all I am is just a foolish idiot. I make terrible choices in life and they always come to bite down on me. Am I really that person you want to be friends with? Were you one of the ones that truly believe I should just go die somewhere? I don't know what to do anymore. I'm lost, I'm dead. I lived a lie, believing everything was going to be okay. Turns out, it never did. I lied to myself, making promises that I could never keep. Who am I truly? All I am is just some lovesick 16 year old kid who believed it was true from the start and just now I realized I'm a selfish, idiot, who doesn't know when to shut his mouth. How many others wanted that one month ban? How many others wanted that three month ban? Lord knows how many. And when I come back, here's my present. Just this. A broken heart from a friend. A true friend who was only ever meant to help me. I lied to myself and never saw the truth. If only I was just true to myself and never said such things. If only I was just a little smarter, and paid attention to the advice given by others. I would've made it safely, but it was never meant to be. The question I have is this: How many of you will talk about me months after this? How many of you will throw out that one sentence: "How is he doing?" Lord knows how many would remember a guy like me. And lord knows the pain I'm going through. I don't know if I want sympathy or empathy, I don't know if I want to be whole again. I don't want to force anyone to do anything. I just want to let everyone know that I'm sorry. Kain, you were a close friend to me in the end. You were the father I never had, and I wish you can help others like me. Andrew, you were that guy who helped out. You were that shadow that looked over chat and helped us all, so thank you. Wiki, you were that person who always knew how to crack a joke from time to time and make us all happy. Nedz, you were that bureaucrat who was able to keep everything together. You know your stuff and you made everything better. Kami, you threw puns out non-stop, but you were a serious guy as well. I respect you in all ways possible. Tal, you always did your best to be that one guy, and you were there at times. So thank you. Carlos, you've been here from the start and so you know the pains from inside and out. Really, thank you for being there for us. Gas, you were that mod who knew how to keep peace and you know when things were serious and weren't. So thank you for just being who you are. Cass, you always believed in me. You always were there and I always thought you were right. I'm sorry it has to be like this. Skitti, thank you for being there. You always were true to yourself and you didn't let anyone push you around. You're a strong person and you kind of rubbed off on me. Wez, you keep your brother going. You be a strong man while you're at it and don't let anyone push you around. You two are great. Maggie, you always knew what to say and you were just that one crazy girl that everyone likes. Keep being that way. Matt, you're like me. A writer. You've inspired me from the very start and you've stood by me by so long. From two close friends, I'm sorry this has to happen. Please. Do what you want with my character, he's all yours to write. Yang, you're a great friend. You don't fuck around and you don't let anyone mess with you. Keep it up. Stealth, I wish we could've spent more time together, to get to know one another. But in the end, it has to be this way. Ex, I wish you the best of luck. I don't know how it is with Kelly, but keep it up man. Good luck. Claire, just continue to be one of those spunky girls who knows what they're talking about in this world. Logan, you were a kind friend to me from the start and you know your job well. I wish I had those skills. Rebecca, I hope Logan's treating you well. In all honesty, you're a great girl and even though we don't talk, you show great qualities of a great girl. Dips, I wish we could play more games of BlazBlue when Chronophantasma comes out, but I'm sorry man. I guess I'm a let-down, aren't I? Alex, I know we're a bit of a dick to each other sometimes, but right now, I just wish you the best of things wherever we go from here. Dest, after Matt, you're one of my best and greatest friends I have. You're always there for me and you understand me. I wish we could always talk together, but I've made my decision. Angel, once again, another one of our crazy chat members I love. Keep it up, and always act that way. I like it. Mino, you're doing a great job on the wiki and on chat. Great personality and I love it man. Dragon, you always brought up great ideas and you know your stuff in Mecha well. You helped me think about a few things, and I really love it. Keep that up. Kelly, you do a lot of things for us, and we love you for that. You say the right things and really, just thank you for all of your help. Floobs, you were the founder, but I'm the one who has to end it here. Be sure to carry my legacy in the History of the RWBY wiki. Terra, you are a great friend. I wish I could help you out more, but I'm sorry. Good luck on your OCs, and I'll still do work on the Heliox Odyssey story. I still have so much to write for you guys, but I'm sorry. I won't be taking in any fan suggestions. I have to cut these ties. Shadow, you always helped me out and suggested me things to help me, but I wish I could really take more of that with me. Kurai, you're a great guy. In all honesty, I'm really sorry for putting you down like that with my OCs. If they get rejected, then I hope you can forgive me. I'm really sorry. Zex, I don't have much to say, other than keep on trucking man. You know what you want in life, and you won't stop. As for me, I'm giving it all up. Tempest, thanks man. Sorry, don't got much else to say other than that, but you're a cool guy. To the rest that I missed, I just want to say that I love you all and you were great people to talk to, but now, here comes the last one. Rebekah, you taught me so much. You told me so much, and I believed you until the very end. I regret so much of what I did. When I said I hated you being better than me, I want to change that so I can be there without any feeling of disappointment. When I cause shit in chat too much to the point of getting banned, I don't remember you. If I only I could, I'd remember that I'd always be waiting for you, without any problems. When I talk about wanting to do all those kinds of things with you, I'm just being some perverted idiot. If only I was as pure as you, but I can't change anything now. Rebekah, you're the love of my life, and you gave me life through our relationship. Now, that it's over, now that I know we're not coming back, I'm lost. All I have are the shadows to keep me company, but I just want you to know, I don't want you to feel guilt. I don't want you to feel pain. I want you to feel happy. I want you to feel that you're free to do so much more. You can hack me, you can do god knows what to my accounts, IP, or anything. If I got robbed, if I got my accounts hacked today or tomorrow or even in ten years, I wouldn't care. As I know I've caused you enough trouble for this to be done. Rebekah, I'm sorry for everything. I don't want you to come back out of guilt, I want you to come back out of your own heart and love for me, but is there even a shred left? No...I'm sorry Rebekah. I'll always remember you as the girl of my dreams. Thank you for all the time we've spent together. All the experience I've learned from you. You were my girlfriend, and I was your boyfriend, but in the end, I was the idiot, and you made the right decision. Hopefully, in some other life, we can meet, and I could fix my mistakes, and maybe, just maybe, we would be together. I love you Rebekah, I love you...I love you...I...I'm sorry... 