Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-24993958-20151106142232/@comment-26397825-20151109031447

I - Oh wow.

Okay, from the top.

The name...well, light makes most people think of yellow or white because of sunlight and white lightbulbs, so it fits.

The jackal ears being cut off....why? You literally make no mention of this in the backstory. In fact, I'm going to talk about his backstory now, since his appearance doesn't raise any eyebrows.

He was abandoned in the woods for being a Faunus...despite the fact that at least one of his parents would have to be a Faunus for him to be a Faunus, which means he wouldn't be abandoned for that reason. I could understand monetary problems...excpet there are such things as orphanages they could have placed him in and put him up for adoption. I literally cannot think of any reason to abandon a young child in a forest to die, especially since people would have known about him of he had a two year age variation (which implies he was somewhere between two and four, since those are the ages that he wouldn't remember his parents at). Also, according to your backstory, Remnant doesn't have the technology we do, which allows doctors to determine a child's age by bones, and development, and all sorts of different medical procedures.

Then we get onto the fact that somehow he wasn't killed by Grimm before the couple found him, despite being abandoned in a forest outside the Kingdoms. He would have been alone, and scared, and full of all kinds of negative emotions, which are what draw Grimm to people. He would be dead.

Insert obligatory "My whole family was killed by Beowolves, and I watched them all die!" story here. Yeesh.

And now your ages don't match up. If he was fourteen(ish, since he has a two year age variance, so 14-16) when his father died, he travelled for three years (17-19) and then attended Haven for 1.5 years, he is 18-20. Not 17-19 like you said.

Also, wow. What a whiner. He hid the fact that he was a Faunus, which is fair enough, but then got discovered and was bullied a bit, so he ran away. And then just happened to find an old woman living in his family home now, who happily teaches him Dust use, because she's a mage. This training would take a few years, you know, which puts him at somewhere between 20 and 25 at the minimum. Still no explanation about how the hell his ears are cut off.

He apparently has no relationships or thoughts about anyone he has encountered, since you completely neglected to write down the relationship section.

The weapons...oh gods.

Meteorite Iron is really terrible; full of impurities and flaws that make it kind of terrible for smithing weapons from. The only reason people use it in stories is because of some mystical power imbued in it....which Remnant wouldn't have. Also, how did he find a meteorite of sufficient size to makea pair of Kopesh from? They may be small blades, but he'd still need a fairly decent amount of meteorite to get enough metal to make them from.

Then add in the fact that he quenched one in morning dew - which I'm assuming he went outside every morning and collected the dew off the top of a sheet of canvas or something for six months straight in order to get enough water - in which case, why the hell not just use fresh water from a spring, it's exactly the same thing. And the other was quenched in Beowolf blood, which is non-existant. Beowolves disintegrate. Their limbs disintegrate when cut off. They don't bleed. They have never bled. It is literally impossible for him to quench a kopesh in Grimm blood.

Also, blood is a terrible substance to quench weapons in full stop.

The rest is alright. But the backstory and weapon, and details you completely failed to explain or just sheer went AU with without even stating it used AU mechanics, makes this character a blatant Stu.