Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25396609-20180128214516/@comment-25396609-20180220193731

Third in line is SpiritedDreaming with Chloe Prisca.

1)Basic info:

Name checks out, nice detailing on the symbol but hard to picture, what kind of leaf is it?

Everything else is fine.

9/10

2) Appearance:

Little bit iffy on silver aura, but the only color we don’t allow is black so it’s fine.

Thank you for providing both imperial and metric units.

Appreciate the detailed description for the physical looks. Easy enough to picture in my head.

Combat outfit sounds good, very fashionable and reasonably practical.

Damnit, I have a weakness for high tensile wire. I built an entire weapon around the stuff; though I question how the grappling hook works, and how she would throw or launch it.

Fancy formal wear, I like that you included both an impractical party dress type outfit and a more business-like option.

Had to look up parade gloves, aren’t those what every disney character wears?

20/20 3) Characteristics:

Background:

PArents were getting old when they had her, interesting choice.

I believe you meant instilled, not installed. Minor gripe.

Good parents, teach your kid your interests without forcing them to follow your path in life.

The sudden shift in her personality feels very jarring and awkward; considering her father died due to the failure of Huntsmen, I feel like she would be more wary of developing an ego; but people are complicated and unpredictable. If she were top of her class it would make more sense for her to get that “I’m invincible” thing going on, but I don’t see any mention of her relative skill level.

Team helped her get rid of her ego, then accidentally lit the fire to further fuel it… Is her semblance making other people’s good ideas backfire?

Let me see… avoided joining the military so she could go out on her own to study archeology. I don’t know if this applies to Australia, but did you know the US military has archeologists? One of my cousins was part of an archeology team in I believe Afghanistan up until the humvee she was in got caught in a roadside bomb. Just an interesting little side note.

This is something I’ve always been curious about and made some assumptions of myself; would the four academies not offer civilian degrees alongside the Huntsman certifications? Oobleck has a doctorate, and he’s in the same rough age group as Taiyang who is at most 40. Unless he took time off from working as a Huntsmen to go through the rather extensive process it takes to earn that degree I’m not sure where he would have found the time.

At the very least I’d think Chloe would’ve been able to get her bachelors while in Atlas.

How does she utterly destroy dig sites without destroying the treasures and secrets they hold? Ancient artifacts are notoriously easy to accidentally break; and if she destroyed a dig site owned by another individual or company she’d probably be sued to hell and back for ruining their property.

I’m not sure if she actually likes archeology or just uses it as an excuse to break things and show off how much better she is than other people who study it…

Anyways, the number of connections back to Tomb Raider is a little bit on the high end of the scale but doesn’t QUITE go into overkill territory.

Personality:

Personality is bare bones, and leaves something to be desired; but reasonably conveys what she’s like as a person.

20/30

4) Trivia:

Relationships are helpful in feeling things out, but it would be nice to include a bit more of their interpersonal dynamics into her backstory. As it stands, the details about the relationship between Aoi and Tawny feels out of place.

4/5

5) Huntsman stuff: Weapon:

Good old fashioned sword guns. Nice nod to Lara Croft. Basic transformation but not everything has to be super elaborate. Extended magazines for higher capacity, still not that many rounds but they’ll pack enough punch to be sufficient when paired with melee.

15/15

Semblance:

Good semblance, but the tie to personality is much too forced and makes it feel shoehorned in.

10/15

I) Civilian extension

No mention of her writing in the backstory whatsoever, I personally like for those details to be put into the backstory and expanded upon in civilian extension.

Is that a requirement to get a doctorate in archeology?

No point recovery warranted.

Score: 78/100