Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25396609-20160319212213/@comment-25396609-20160320044004

ah, faunus only have one animal trait but you gave her both scales and sharp teeth.

what else...

the weapon type should be a 4 letter acronym describing the weapon, you've get pretty simple ones so i actually reccomend beefing them up a bit.

The racism faunus face has seemingly been exagerated by the handful of active racists we've seen, and by the actions of the white fang, so honestly i feel like her dad being beaten to death might be a bit much.

Kind of confused by her using her moms name, as i can't think of any real reason people would be hunting down anyone with her dad's.

How is she pale living in a desert kingdom?

no backstory mention or explanation of her being a skilled pickpocket.

Self inserting, that is the thing that i meant, just taking your character and jamming them into the existing storyline is what starts to build up mary sue points rapidly.

she isn't one, but she has traits that could devolve into that territory if you're not careful.

another note, she is a Shade student, and in her third year, so she wouldn't have NEARLY enough contact with the canon characters to warrant inclusion of them in her story.