Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-26397825-20150719111502/@comment-25396609-20150719174903

Aiden: To start, not liking the amnesiac thing, seriously overused these days. after that bit i can't make out what you're trying to say as the grammar and sentence structure are all over the place.

The way you've written his personallity and likes/dislikes is a bit off, makes him feel like a self insert of some description, what with shoehorning in something from our own world you specifically enjoy.

having trouble deciphering the weapon, may want to clean up the description, specify what kind of 'big sword' it is.

For semblance, please remove 'lol' from the explanation, just makes it look bad.

Electricity is one that we could use some specific numbers on, i intend to go back and work some propert numbers into my battery semblance when i get the chance. anyways, we at the very least need to know the amperage, which tells us how effectively the current travels, which tells us how likely it is to kill someone.

The biggest problem with generating electricity but not being protected from it is that if he's holding a metal weapon (which he would be) the current would loop right bakc into his body through the handle.

lightning really doesn't work that way for a landing strategy. it might create a shockwave in the air to cushion the fall, but the lightning itself wouldn't slow him down.

you say he is disadvantaged by being angry, and then go on to say why he is harder to beat when he's angry. doesn't mesh, fix ASAP.

Ah, there's your problem, mixing multiple character inspirations, narrow it down to just one and reformat the character to reflect the change. also, may want ot switch to fairy tale and classic literature inspirations if you're going to be using a specific inspiration, anime  and video games don't translate well between settings

Jade:

Backstory is a bit questonable, too similar to blake, hiding at beacon to escape the white fang, Ozpin allows it just because he can.

fairly generic airheaded character who's good at schoolwork and fighting.

Weapons is way too simplistic, too generic.

Semblance is way too hyperspecialised on Jade, the pellet spread thing can be achieved with an adjustable choke. besides, semblane is a reflection of your soul, not your weapon. having a semblance that can affect the pellet spread is fine, but don't make that the exclusive function.

Overall she's built more like a soldier than a huntress. extremely dull and generic with somewhat questionable backstory.