Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25396609-20160205040608/@comment-24857712-20160222124643

VedranTheII wrote: Bajarias.josef wrote:

-Name:Cyan Lepidalikos ...back-story needs to cleaned up...like a lot...First off the Grimm followed him but somehow didn’t kill him, instead went for the village...which means it didn’t follow him...and killed a lot of people without Cyan hearing cause apparently the prank was set outside of earshot...

Don’t even get me started on him magically holding off a Grimm that his dad wasn’t able to with just an unlocked aura and a whole lot of teenage angst...and the last minute save from someone that couldn’t intervene sooner because...we’ll probably because you wanted the kid to be edgy and didn’t want to go to the hustle of trying to write his parents or meaningful interactions between them.

Actually in the his parents were gone part?They were away when the attack happened,oh and i'll add the relationship between him and his family later,The raiju following him then his village?Uhh lemme try this,When a Raiju detects more prey,it'll go to where more prey's herded than just go for one,Cyan took a short detour so Raiju couldn't find him,but he led Rai to the village accidentally,and him being capable of holding raiju off for 10 seconds?(yeah that was 10 seconds,enough to buy his sis some time)Raiju tend to burn out fast in a fight so it wasn't in perfect form when Cyan started wailing on it,and besides Cyan knew how to fight as a kid(to protect his sis),and his village was rather far,Oh the edgy kid part was because  i wanted him to be the kind guy who is still troubled by his past so he needs to move on completely by his friends work,

Anyway thanks for the crit Ved,I'll start taking suggestions from ya