Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25396609-20160319212213/@comment-27450328-20160323163826

Alright, here goes my first OC. I still need to develop the background, but any review fo the current state of the project will be appreciated (sorry for my bad english, not my native language)



 Core Info



1)Basic info



-Name: Mikel Maurus

-CNR explanation: Mikel is a derivation from Nickel, a metal. Maurus means maroon in latin

-Species: Human

-Age: 17 or 18 (not sure)

-Gender: Male

-Symbol: A broken Yin/Yang (not sure)

-Handedness: Right handed, but can fight with both hands

-Physical traits: Burned on his hands/arms

-Misc traits: Have a slight french-like accent

-Nicknames: Mike (Magic mike ?), Mickey (not sure)

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Occupation: Wanderer, will later join Beacon as the leader of team MARS

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">2)Appearance

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Aura Colour: Dark red, and later black (It's cliché, I know...)

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Aura Effects : emit some kind of fluid/fire from his body (?)

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Height: 1.85 meters

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Weight: 70 Kgs

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Eyes: Green (?)

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Skin color: not very tanned, quite clear

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Face: Smooth, oval with some edges

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Hair: Maroon

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Physique: Fit and toned

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Outfit: A leather jacket with dark jeans and ranger-like boots. He also wears black military chest plate and arm protections that he "found" somewhere

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Gadgets (if any): Will later find his father’s motorcycle, « Grimm Lightning » (from Grease Lightning)

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">3)Characteristics

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Background: Mikel grew up peacefully in the mountains with his family and his only friend. He had a comfortable house isolated from everything, a Teddy-bear dad, a caring mom, and they were so happy that everyone died !! Seriously, one day when he was out with his friend, some criminals raided the house (why ? For plot, of course). He barely manage to save his younger brother trapped in their burning house, leaving him scars on his arms and an understandable fear of fire.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">The three of them managed to survive, going from city to city, searching for awnsers, until they decided to part ways. His friend took a job as an detective in a crime-infested area while the brothers continued their investigation across the world. After years of researches, His friend (Seriously, I need to find him a name) contacted them about a possible trail related to a crime lord in his city.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">The three of them decided to join force again, along with other questionable individuals, to jump happily into the snake pitt and avenge the Maurus family.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">And this is where the story will begin (with more development, I promise)

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Personality: Is basically calm and serious, but have a small patience and can easily appears as brutal. His lack of tolerance for individuals who cannot keep up with his rhythm - or worse, who slow him down - tricked him numerous time before he learned to cope with others. However, travelling across the world gave him the opportunity to see that mankind (and faunus as well) aren't good or bad, only driven with contradictory interests. It is why his vison can appears as cynical and analytic sometimes (I will probably redo that part)

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Likes: fighting, simple situations, his brother, his friend, drinking, constructive discussions/debates

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Dislikes: fire, pointless discussions, opposition, manipulators, religion and basically every situation which cannot be solved with his feet meeting a face

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">4) Trivia:

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Notable relationships:

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">Angelo Maurus (brother) : Mikel care about him and is very protective, but is opposed to his vision of the world (too innocent) and sometimes pushes him too hard (claims that it is for his own good)

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">(Best friend, whose name is a pain in the feet to find...) : complementary (he is calm and understanding), very good at the "good cop bad cop" thing

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">Ray Pullman (local mech, lives in the badlands) : acquaintance/annoyance, sometimes drinking partner

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">Other persons, or teammates will be created later, maybe...

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Notes: His semblance, as well as his history, helped him develop another personality, more twisted and violent. It  is in quite good terms with Mikel however, and rarely interact with the events, only in specific cases.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">He sometimes likes to go for a drink, which often finishes in incredible bar fights, a massive hangover and an angry little brother pulling him back home.

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">This character, and the whole story is currently under writing. The first part will not happen at Beacon, but in a town outside the kingdom, with dust mines, a fallen noble family and a criminal underground.

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);"> Hunter Extension

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">I) Weapons

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Name: Hrunting and Naegling (not sure at all)

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Type: TCBS (Twin Combinable Bladed Shotgun)

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Short Description: Two 1887-based sotgun with a blade under the cannon that can be deployed (the handle will then get aligned with the rest of the body). He can shot from he canon or the upper thruster for swinging momentum (this one doesn't require level-action reloading). Both can be connected by the handle, which extends to obtain a double bladed staff.

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">II) Semblance

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Name: Jekyll and Hyde

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Short Description: When driven into battle, he can enter a kind of berzerk state, where combat-based performances and reflexes are increased. However, it allows a more twisted version of himself to partially control his body. Moreover, that doesn't stop him from recieving damages, and he can be quite predictable for someone used to his style of fighting. In dramatic situations, the other personality can fully control the body, increasing even more his abilities and recklessness.

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">Later, he will be able to control the energy and redirect it to certain parts of his body (boost a punch or a kick)

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Visual effect: Emit some kind of fire-like fluid from his body which extends to his weapons. The fluid turns black when the other personality takes full control.

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">III) Combat Info

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Class/Position : Tank, berzerker

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Landing strategy: Aim for the big ursa !

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Fighting Style: follow a dance-like fighting style combining Chambara, Bojutsu, Naginatajutsu and Thaijutsu

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">IV) Statistics

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<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">1) Physical Statistics

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Strength: 4

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Speed: 3

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Agility: 4

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Stamina: 3

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">2) Aural Statistics

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Aura Reserve: 3

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Aura Manipulation: 2

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Semblance Manipulation: 4 (It's more like his semblance controlling him, but whatever)

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Dust Manipulation: 0

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">3) Technical Statistics

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Dust use: 2

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Weapon Skill (Primary): 5

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Weapon Skill (Unarmed): 5

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Weapon Skill (Close Combat): 4

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Weapon Skill (Mid Range Combat): 3

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">-Weapon Skill (Ranged Combat): 2

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;font-size:12px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">

<p style="margin-top:0px;margin-bottom:0px;line-height:normal;font-family:Helvetica;color:rgb(255,255,255);">Total : 44