Roman's Revenge/Transcript

In the Beacon common room, Blake Belladonna stands perfectly still and stares blankly at nothing in particular.

A rather dejected-looking Ruby Rose walks over.

R: Hey, Blake. Man, I'm so bummed. I think I crashed and burned on that test today. How did you do?

''Blake doesn't answer or move, her eyes still staring ahead blankly. After a couple seconds of total silence, Ruby becomes more chipper and her face brightens up.''

R: You know what? You're right. In the long run, one test is no big deal! I'll do better next time! Thanks, Blake!

''Ruby walks off cheerfully. In walks Jaune Arc, looking equal parts optimistic and determined.''

J: Whoo! I'm gonna do it! I'm finally going to tell Weiss how I feel abut her! (hesitantly) I think... I dunno... Maybe? Uh, what do you think, Blake?

''Blake still doesn't respond in any way. After a couple seconds of total silence, Jaune's eyes widen in horror.''

J: Oh my gosh, you're right! What was I thinking?! That would've... That would've been a disaster! You know, I feel like you really "get" me. Thanks, Blake!

''Jaune skips off cheerily. Later, Weiss strolls into the room, casually humming a tune. She locks eyes with Blake and adopts a defensive, angry expression, with her hands on her hips.''

W: Huh? What? Why're you looking at me like that? Blake? Is it... Is it that thing I did? (gasp) How did you find out about that!? You can't tell anyone! Look, I'll make it worth your while! A lifetime supply of tuna! Deal?

Blake continues to stare blankly and not respond.

W: Oh, you're good. Very good.

''Weiss walks off defiantly. Moments later, another Blake walks over, revealing the first Blake to actually be a shadow clones created by her Semblance.

B: Oh, there you are. (Blake dispels the clone with a touch of her hand, and it vanishes into thin air in a flash of black) It's always weird when these shadow clones don't vanish.

Ruby, looking rather content and cheerful, greets Blake again.

R: I feel so much better! You're the best!

Ruby walks away as Blake looks at her quizzically.

''Weiss walks back into the room, pushing a box full of canned tuna. She kicks a can of tuna and it rolls over and settles at Blake's feet.''

W: You're the worst.

B: What's going on?

Weiss storms off, leaving Blake with her box of tuna and a great deal of confusion.

Jaune ambles in.

J: Oh. My. Gosh. Blake, I have so many girl problems, good thing you're such a great listener!

''Jaune ambles away. Blake looks at him in total confusion''

B: I... (Blake looks around the room, totally at a loss for words)

Outside, in the Beacon courtyard, Zwei growls and barks agitatedly at a Beowolf, who rears and snarls back.

''The camera pans out to show Zwei and Beowolf both on leashes, being walked by Ruby and Cinder Fall, respectively. Both pull on their leashes, desperately keeping their feuding pets from attacking one another.''

R: (desperately) Oh my god, I'm so sorry, he never acts like this! I should never have taken him out, he's been (unintelligible) all day long, it's just... I'm so sorry!

C: No, it's completely fine! He's just a little grumpy today, mine's usually so sweet!

R: He looks very sweet! (angrily, to Zwei) Zwei, don't embarrass me!

''Ruby pulls sharply on Zwei's collar, flipping him onto his back, and begins dragging him away. The Beowolf turns around and slinks off reluctantly behind Cinder.''

Outside Beacon, Team RWBY lies on the grass and plays fetch with Zwei.

R: Good boy, Zwei? Ready? Fetch!

''Ruby pretends to throw a stick, but actually hides it behind her back. Zwei zooms off to find the stick while the members of Team RWBY laugh.''

Behind the carefree team, Roman Torchwick's head peeks out from behind a pillar.

T: Ha ha ha! Oh, Little Red, Little Red, laugh while you can, because Roman Torchwick is back in town! Muahahah! You thought you could just move on into a spin-off comedy series and leave me behind?! Guess again! I will have my revenge! This time, things are gonna be different.

''Neopolitan silently walks up behind Torchwick and pulls out a sign, saying "THEY WON'T", and shakes her head. Torchwick turns around and Neo quickly hides the sign behind her back.''

T: Neo, it's time to destroy those meddling kids once and for all! And their stupid dog, too...

Neo nods vigorously.

T: Prepare the death ray!

''Neo smiles evilly and produces a comically large ray gun many twice her own size. Torchwick looks at it in shock.''

T: (regaining his composure) Eh, right, don't be a show off. My hour of victory is at hand! Neo, load the highly explosive Dust crystals!

Neo produces a huge bundle of red Dust crystals and smiles evilly.

R: (calling distantly from off-screen) Zwei? Where did you go, dummy?!

''Neo and Torchwick look around with concerned expressions. Zwei comes bounding over and stops right next to Torchwick, looking at the criminal innocently, panting and wagging his tail.''

T: Shoo! Get out of here, you mangy mutt!

''Torchwick tries to shoo Zwei away, waving Melodic Cudgel in the dog's face. Zwei grabs Melodic Cudgel with his mouth and bites down hard. Torchwick and Zwei struggle over the stick. Neo dances around helplessly.'

T: No no no, this isn't your stupid stick!

''Zwei yanks Torchwick's weapon out of his grasp, and Torchwick stumbles backwards, landing on his back next to Neo. Zwei holds the weapon in his mouth, with the muzzle pointed directly at Torchwick and Neo.''

T: (nervously) Uh... Good stupid doggy...? Stay...?

Neo pulls out a sign that reads "PLAY DEAD!"

''Zwei inadvertently fires a round from Melodic Cudgel at Torchwick and Neo, igniting the Dust and enveloping the villainous pair in a large explosion. When the smoke clears, they are nowhere to be seen.''

Ruby and the other members of Team RWBY walk over and find Zwei.

R: Ah, Zwei!

Zwei drops Melodic Cudgel at Ruby's feet.

R: Oh, you found a stick! Good boy! Come on, let's go for a walk.

''Torchwick yells as he falls to the ground from a great altitude, covered in soot and missing his hat. He lands on the ground with a thump. His hat floats down slowly after him, finally landing softly on his head.''

T: I... Can't feel my legs.

Neo, also covered in soot, floats down from the air using her umbrella, with a displeased expression on her face.

T: Neo, how do I look?

Annoyed, Neo pulls out a sign that reads "FETCHING".