Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-24993958-20151101000002/@comment-24993958-20151108185523



Lastly we have Ahpolki Inika with Aegle Vitreus:

1)Basic info: I want that tattoo, very nice design. +5

2)Appearance: Outfits are a bit barebones, specifically the casual wear that barely has any details. Not a fan of white hair but i used dark gray, so who am I to talk?. Overall minus points for not eing descriptive enough on the outfits. +7

3)Characteristics Similar to what i told Kuro, I do not buy into tragedies that aren’t fleshed out. Unlike kuro you only really did step one and three. You barely avoided step 2 by not telling me she was insane, and leaving the whispering in a mirror (an actual sign of insanity) for me to interpret; essentially you aren’t telling me she’s insane, you're letting me see she’s losing it. It’s still far too barebones for my liking though and I truly think her brother needs fleshed out. +7

4)Trivia: Needs more to tell...like her brother. +2

Gona have to distribute your points a bit differently since you used both the civilian and hunter extension.

I)Combat: Love the semblance, staff is...ok. The staff feels like it’s missing a circus theme...not saying it should have been a whip, but i am saying i wish it was something extra. +5

A)D to D - No extended relationships...you know..like a brother...I’m sorry if it feels I’m harping you with this but you made the brother too much of a key figure NOT to go into detail over this, it’s like writing a “Cain and Abel” story as “Cain and that brother he really hated”  +5

Overall that amounts to 81 points