Thread:Ahpolki Inika/@comment-25396609-20150317174239/@comment-3965075-20150317193236

Not much to note apart from your own comments and JayHart's. Kinda feels a bit rushed, making it a bit hard to keep track at times. There's also grammerical errors along the way, making it seem eve more rushed. Some more detail might be nice (unless it's being saved for part 2.)

Not the best, but not the worst either. My personal advice is to take your time, slow down a bit.