Thread:SpiritedDreaming/@comment-173.58.100.7-20150615080843

Uh...yeah. Is this thing on? Yes it's on. Great! I wondered how it'd work. Thanks for listening, by the way.

Eight years ago, I met someone who became the first and only crush I've had, to date. I'm not sure if it was love, but being the foolish person I was who'd never experienced romantic love, I fell for her anyways. My affection for her lasted three years. And it was unrequited the whole time. I still know what I saw in her that drew me to her. She was smart, kind, and a capable person. She made friends wherever she went and was very outgoing. People said good things about her. I liked who she was as a person, and that's what drew me to her. I wanted to tell her how I felt, But I said nothing about it. I was afraid. This was new. And because I was afraid of what would happen if I did tell her. Rejection, mockery, things like that.

I had to let my feelings for her go at the third year, specifically because she already found someone by then, so it would have been foolish to continue, and also I'd come to the conclusion that I'd been naive. On one end, it was nice to have found someone that I would have been honored to call a lover under different circumstances, but on the other end, I learned a harsh lesson. 'd done something immeasurably stupid. I'd tried my hand at something I wasn't ready for.

So, I resolved to not fall in love again. Which I've kept up so far. I've basically become Morrigan in regards to love, contemptuous of it, regarding it as an emotion that should remain locked away. I'm perfectly content to watch others fall in love, but I myself would rather not experience it again.

Thoughts? (Yes, if you think I'm being whiny, tell me, I'd like you/anyone who reads this to be perfectly honest).

- Surana  