Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25396609-20170201003940/@comment-27144409-20170328001625

Sentry 616 wrote:

You have excessive spacing between most lines, but the background is a text brick.

Archery and Aura control are combat related so those shouldn't be listed under skills.

The additional short sword feels redundant. Why would she need a third sword?

Don't you mean messenger pigeons?

With a 5 in both ranged weapons and primary weapon, you don't need to say that she almost never misses in her strengths, or at least you can say it with fewer words. Storm Dust isn't a thing, based on what we've seen. I get where you might have gotten the idea from, but that  was probably a special case.

Mortal frenemy seems a little silly.

You could probably trim down her personality traits.

Holidays, winning, friends, and family are rarely worth putting in likes because they are things normal people normally like. Unless the character likes these things more than usual, say being ridiculously into a holiday, to the point of seeming maniacal, or these likes are truly an important character, leave them out.

For a ridiculous example, a lot of people like Christmas to varying degrees, so it's rarely worth mentioning. For that person who goes through gallons of eggnog, hundreds of cookies, 5 hams, and 100 yards of yarn, put enough inflatables (or statues) on their lawn to shame a major store's display area, turns the entire exterior of their house into a monument to networked, computerized, holiday lighting, that is someone whose likes can explicitly include Christmas.

Similar issues for Dislikes.

So  definitely like an unstable combo of Yang and Nora, what with the description that is almost the same as Yang's, but more excessive.

If she has 12 shurikens and a knife in addition to the normal weapon, which should be listed in the weapons section, (even if they have no names), that third sword has to go.