Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-26018514-20150401033018/@comment-24012109-20150402021107

Phantomlink959 wrote: Carol dempsey:

for one, grammer and spelling are all over the place. In the first paragraph you use the word 'rather' 3 times.

You seem to be basing him off of Thor, but he comes across as a more bardic character. In addition, i'm not sure basing a character on the same inspiration as an already revealed cannon character is a good idea.

Looking further into his backstory, it is pretty good. A little bit too obvious on the dissappeared dad trope, but tropes are the foundaton of this show so it's all good in the end.

I'm going to outright say it, love the weapon. It's pretty unique even as far as the random assortment of possible weapons in remnant, as well as being balanced and highly efective.

Semblance is good, not much I can say about it,

overall, not bad. The weapon descripton is a bit clustered, and i feel like something other than thor would be fit inspiration better, but that's all i can suggest.

Considering the fact that he's in mid re-write, that's good to know. He was actually the second character I made altogether, the first being Edwin and rather close to each other as well.

If you feel the tropes Carol outputs, then what I wanted of him is coming out. He's a satiric character, taking in a few of those tropes and making a good character with them. But hey, he could be a lone wolf faunus with a fetish for being alone, so I call it all good. And thanks.