Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-26397825-20150901031037/@comment-26397825-20150907031212

Third up: Marr Rubrim by LiveandSound

1)       Basic Info: 16/20 points. I like the name, though you lost a point because it doesn’t tie into his physical looks at any point, which is what a parents sees when naming their child. Yeah, it ties into his aura, but the parents don’t exactly know what colour it is at birth. Also, you didn’t even say that he had the standard glow for a visual effect, just left it blank, and you switched the physical and misc traits around. Nickname makes sense though.

2)       Appearance: 20/20 points. Fairly decent, the outfits fit the character design and habits rather well. I let the lack of shoe description slide because it’s in his weapon description.

3)       Characteristics: 29/30 points. Well, that escalated quickly. Fits with the inspirations though, without overloading the references. Though, did Marr just want the money for money’s sake, or so he could go to Beacon and become a Hunter like he wanted? I suppose they both lead to the same thing, but a little mention would have been nice. Also, he’s a jock. Fits with what you wrote about his backstory and inspiration.

4)       Weapon: 8/10 points. This explains the lack of shoes in the outfit section, so you don’t lose any points for that. They’re fairly simple and the upgrades sound feasible. Though, you gave me a clear image for the gauntlets but not so for the boots. Are the blades underneath his sole, running parallel to the top of his foot? Sticking out from his heels?

5)       Semblance: 9/10 points. Hey, don’t ask me about the semblance stuff, I just used the most recent template. Take that up with Phantom and Vedran, who both know a lot more than I do. Though, I believe you used the description part to write out the active abilities, when it is meant to be basically one sentence stating what it does (He makes a tidal wave with his aura). The semblance itself seems kind of slow to me, but I suppose that’s just the build-up time for larger waves.

6)       Combat Info: 4/5 points. Wait, does he carry his surfboard everywhere? How, and where does he store it? I know you said he enjoys surfing, but you didn’t say he carries it around with him all the time, even as a stub in the backstory. Lost a point for making no mention of that previously. The fighting style fits his character though, even adding in the surfboard.

7)       Trivia: 4/5 points. Make sense, though it’s a pity he didn’t even have a bunch of groupies to hang out with or throw parties with.



Overall Total: 90/100