Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-26397825-20161030235452/@comment-26397825-20161115112802

Next up is Maki Kuronami with Suika Natsuko

1) 10 points Curious question because she's got a Japanese name, is Natsuko her first name, or Suika? Reading her background tells me it's Suika, so you're avoiding the Eastern style of names. Making note of which academy she goes to in the Occupation would probably be a good diea, just to give a casual reader an idea of where she is in the world.

2) 17 points Scarlet/Pink...scarlet and pink are two very different colours. We haven't seen anyone with two different aura colours yet outside of activation cues for semblances, and checking the semblance doesn't yield any special activation cue that would explain the multiple colours.

And that weight doesn't make her border on scrawny with a BMI of 21. She'd have to be 20 or 19 to border scrawny, whih would put her weight between 48 and 52kg. Doesn't sound like much, but when you're short 2kg is a lot of weight to spread around your body.

What colour are the grass/cherry blossom patterns? On the combat yukata, I can simply assume green grass and it'll be visible, but on the casual kimono it's hard to say, as cherry blossoms are pink and so is the yukata.

3) 25 points Why do you always write backstories that I rarely find faults with? I like this backstory, I really do. Even the prodigal strength at 16 is explained away by specialised one on one training from a veteran Huntsman as opposed to generalised training in a classroom setting from Huntsmen that have to spread their attention over 20 kids.

Oooh. Strained relationship with her sister, enough to list her in the dislikes section. Nice.

4) 4 points Lol. Lime Prime. That name is amazing. Though, you're detailing the roles of the other members of her team but only Nuss has any actual relationship details. How does she feel about Lime and Mint?

5) 13  points I was confused on what a baston was until I googled it and saw eskrima. Now I understand. Weapon is simple and effective.

What's a shotlock mechanism though? I tried googling it and got forum threads about Kingdom Hearts, but no real explanation on what it was. Unless you mean flintlock, or matchlock.

6) 7 points Wait, so, does she throw herself at the ball and ricochet off it, or does she get bounced in another directio automatically upon creation of the aura ball depending on where it is created? The same question goes for the dust applications. Does she basically turn the battlefield into a pinball machine, with herself or dust as the ball and the semblance as the bumpers? I'm confused on the wording.

7) 8 points I feel like the part about removing her natural shield to focus purely on offense is going to kick her in the ass one day, but I guess it works. Her fighting style makes sense for her training and background.

Bonus Points: If you'd given her a chrysanthemum theme, I would have given you bonus points because the chrysanthemum festivals in Japan take place over the Halloween period (this year there were three around the Tokyo region, one on the 28th of October, and 2 on the 1st of November). Sadly, you didn't, so no bonus points.

Total points: 84 points