Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25396609-20160425022934/@comment-14131673-20160426043543

WC-83 wrote: ShadowFiend1000 wrote: ACWeapons wrote: ShadowFiend1000 wrote: Arkantos95 wrote: That's my point. Your character is still an unforgivable 3edgy5me Mary Sue despite your edits. Man, I hate to say this you guys are very hard to please. My final decision is for him to be in 22-24, trainings were subjected at the age of 15 after they are told by Qrow that he vouched them for Beacon. They have to train from the books etc. I'm going to work on Redgrave

EDIT: He'll assist Qrow in liasing with his team mates and watch over JNRR from the shadows if Qrow has to go. I'm sorry you don't like it, but it's true that this character is crossing too many thresholds. Why would he even watch the team at all even if he had Qrow or Ozpin as a teacher? Why would Ozpin train them personally seeing as he doesn't have the time nor reason to do so? Why would they even be at Signal and not expelled if they caused that much damage and injury to students and staff? Why would Qrow vouch for them if they didn't get arrested for what they did? These things all go against character of the main story. There is a way to weave your ideas into a proper character, but this isn't it. I did not elaborate further then, as they discovered their Semblence initially, they cannot control it, as a result accidents happened. And training don't necessary someone there instructing, taking in previous ideas, Qrow and Ozpin had them to read books and carry out training on their own.

For Qrow part is more like deceiving them, telling them they'll join Beacon instantly if they can complete the training in multi-weapon combat. Ozpin's part only comes in to tell them why he made them train so hard in multi-weapon combat. Shadow Fiend I admire your patience (I honestly can't expect the same for others who make this kind of OC), and at least your OC is distinct, mine are perfectly servicable, but take no risks.

That being said, you can't bend canon to your character. You can't have canon characters interact with them in any significant way.

Ruby was admitted early, but we can explain that with her having silver eyes and wanting to attend. She's a special case as well as the main character, something your character can never be.

Them being taught by Qrow is acceptable (because he teaches many people at Signal), but personally looked after by Ozpin? Can't occur, a character too important too close to yours.

A big problem with using Canon Characters is the risk of character derailment. I don't see Qrow as the type to write off your team as troublemakers (seeing as he isn't any better) or Ozpin going out of his way to give those 4 a chance to be on the same team.

Ciaran/Nero taking over Qrow's job for V4 isn't a good point either, canon-wise. Made some edits to that, how about Ciaran and Blaec a pair and Redgrave and Albion a pair? The 2 pairs are split up and joined 2 groups, but they have to train secretly on what Ozpin has asked them to.