Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-24534644-20170630004409/@comment-24534644-20170723005257

I have some free time tonight, so I'll check in on another character. This one is Marie Agneau, from PisceanWaterbender.



1) Basic Info: The name works, although I personally find Marie to be a bit of a stretch considering it has so many meanings and interpretations and only one of them happens to imply "sea". The religious color connotation is even more flimsy. Still, I give it a pass since the name DOES have that one meaning, but some work could be done to increase the strength of the CNR enforcement here, I think. The rest of the section checks out fine, although based on the bio as a whole I'm not quite sure where the roses for her Emblem come from. 8/10.

2) Appearance: Everything here looks good. I like the outfit, very "I'm ready to strangle/stab you at any moment but I intend to look good and professional while doing it". I have a pet peeve regarding people including Scrolls in the gadgets section (seriously, EVERYONE has one it looks like, it's not special), but that doesn't detract from the score. 20/20

3) Characteristics: I can think of a song that would fit this character pretty well. Jokes aside, the backstory has a couple holes in it. For starters, you'd think any decent parents would make it clear to their child that  stealing is wrong and that they're only doing it to survive. Not saying such teachings would be effective on an impressionable child who cares more about actions than words, but even so, you don't normally wait until AFTER several years of thievery to tell your kid "hey, stealing is wrong, don't do it". Second, HOW did they get into financial stability? That sort of thing doesn't just fall into your lap, especially for Faunus. Third, where did Diamant come from? You say they were friends, but since when? And how did they meet? A girl developing a close trusting friendship with a notorious gang leader isn't really something you just leave out of a backstory, especially if he plays a large part in the later part of it. And finally, call me crazy, but something tells me spending 3 years training with a random Vale gang leader isn't as effective as spending 4 years training in a dedicated Huntsman Academy, so saying she's able to take on multiple experienced Hunstman stretches my suspension of disbelief.

Now, despite all of this, the backstory is nice and detailed. But the issues that are present detract from the score. Other than that though, you did good. 25/30

4) Trivia: Everything here is good on its own merits, even though you still don't explain how Diamant came into the picture. But on a separate topic altogether, the more I read, the more I feel like a better allusion for this character would have been the rhyme Baa, Baa, Black Sheep, as she fits that one much better. Not only does the term 'black sheep' aptly fit the character (as well as her father, which you even made reference to), but the original version of the rhyme itself suggests cruelty toward those less fortunate and racism (also slavery by extension), as well as great resentment toward the system and those more fortunate. Plus, that rhyme has a lot more to do with wool specifically, which would make the Semblance a lot more appropriate than just "lol she's a sheep and sheep have wool".

As it stands, the character doesn't have much to do with Mary Had a Little Lamb aside from the name and being a sheep faunus. This being said, allusions don't have to be spot on recreations, and nursery rhymes have varying levels of material to draw from, but it's still disappointing that not as much research was done as there could have been. So, 3/5.

I) Weapon: What a delightfully gruesome name for a weapon. Although, the weapon itself seems a bit... plain. Functional, but plain. Not that that's an inherently bad thing, a weapon doesn't need to be twice the size of it's wielder and have mind-numbingly complicated mechanisms in order to be functional, after all. But something that I have difficulty envisioning  is how the blade turns into a hook... wouldn't it make more sense to say there's a hook attached to part of the blade, a la Assassin's Creed? Wouldn't be out of place, really. Like I said though, the weapon works, and makes sense for the character. 13/15

II) Semblance: So it's basically this then.

The Semblance is interesting, although I'm curious as to exactly what the limit is on how much wool she can conjure up. Also, I have to believe the wool, being a construct of Aura, will dissipate after a period of time, because if a Semblance straight up creates a physical material out of nothing, that's a lot more diffiult to believe... it'd also be more along the lines of conversion. All in all however, interesting idea, and creative explanation or how it connects to the character. 14/15

III) Combat Info: Fighting style makes sense. Not really much else to put here. 5/5

I) Day-to-Day Life: Fun bonus information is fun. You get 3 points of recovery.

Point Total: 92



Overall a very nice character, although the holes in her backstory and information left out hold it back. I'll also reiterate that the character would have made a much better allusion to Baa, Baa, Black Sheep, b