Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-26397825-20170430155022/@comment-26397825-20170522111103

Bah. Sleep? What is sleep? Anyways, since I can't sleep I might as well be productive. Here's the first contestant, Arkantos with  Nathan Flint .
 * Spirit is seriously wondering if she's developing insomnia.

1) Basic Info - 10 points

Glad you included a picture to show how Nathan’s crosshairs are different to Coco’s crosshairs emblem.

2) Appearance - 15 points

He’s a touch underweight according to the BMI calculator I used - that is, if I assume you used lbs. If you used kgs, then he becomes obscenely obese. Either way, if he’s got any sort of muscle to him at all he should be a bit more than just barely scraping in at a healthy weight, as muscles weigh more than fat. From his physique and weight, I’m left thinking that by lithe you meant ‘skeletal with muscle definition’.

Outfit is...bland. The combat outfit can be excused, since I’m assuming he has a specific job within the mercenary group that has to do with stealth, but the casual outfit could at least have more detail to it to make him feel like a character and not a background set piece.

Gadgets...goggles and eye are fine by me. I’m not certain about the stealth suit consuming aura to function though, when dust would be far easier to use and better for the average spy-soldier who may not have the training to increase their aura reserves or even have it unlocked. Lightning Dust would do the job just fine (and have some really cool yellow highlights when not in stealth mode) and wouldn’t weaken the person while they’re at it.

3) Characteristics - 19 points

Wow. I mean, yeah Faunus aren’t treated well in the Schnee mines, but the mines and military service aren’t the only legal options for the poor. Warehouse labourers, Small-time businesses - hell, if they’re as bad off as you say then there should by all rights be a Faunus only section in Atlas, which is occupied by Faunus and caters to Faunus. This includes things like grocery stores, cafe’s, bookstores, and other things that can be imported via Mistral or Vale by the business owner and sold to the general Faunus populace.

And while Jacques mistreats Faunus in his employ, he is not a member of the council. He doesn’t get a say in how the rest of the city treats them, and I really don’t see the Military General and Huntsmen Academy Headmaster, Ironwood, accepting pure discrimination against innocent Faunus with no connection to the White Fang to the degree that either a job in the mines or military conscription are their only choices.

The rest of the backstory is fine within itself, though a bit more detail about the attack that cost him his eye would be nice as you sort of just gloss over it. Was it in Atlas or elsewhere? Was it bandits, Grimm or White Fang? Also, I do have to wonder what the Atlas military is doing running missions in other kingdoms. That sort of trained military representation inside foreign territory tends to make people nervous about possible invasions.

His personality checks out for the most part, but nowhere does it mention his yearning for freedom or his enjoyment of living a freer lifestyle that is dictated by himself rather than superiors, despite such a trait being the main reason he joined the Band after his compulsory service was up.

4) Trivia - 5 points

The note on how the prototypes Nathan has are already developed technology in Atlas, thereby giving him unfinished and subpar work to the actual soldiers, is a good touch to explain how he gets his hands on it. I was wondering that earlier, but am satisfied with this reasoning.

5) Weapon - 11 points

Not sure why Nathan couldn’t rename the weapon after he left the military...or build his own based off his old one from the military. In fact, why would the military name his weapon when he is the one who designed and made it in the first place? Yes, they are his superiors. But they’re not the wielders or makers of the weapon and don’t have a say in it beside his budget for making it and where it gets used. This fury and dislike of the name is superfluous.

6) Semblance - 13 points

So the weakness to sneak attacks is based on the fact that if they’re sneak attacking him, he doesn’t know about it and therefore can’t think to dodge it. Understandable. It’s very boring, but it works.

7) Combat Info - 4 points

I’m...not sure explosive dust round would have that effect. All he’d do is blow himself up or fall into an explosion. Gravity rounds would, as seen with Ruby, but explosives? Not really.

Total: 77 Points