Thread:SpiritedDreaming/@comment-24857712-20180712124300/@comment-26397825-20190903121003

For a rogue Huntsman, Grun feels like a common thug. He's got no style, no skill, and not even a semblance to help him out.Even in the After the Fall novel, the rogue Huntsmen CFVY fight have semblances that help them get an edge over the good guys. It makes a scene more suspenseful and tense. As it is, the fight feels like Yang vs Raven's bandit mooks, designed to show the difference in power level between a trained fighter and a common thug. Something that Grun shouldn't be.

I get wanting to make your OCs cool or show that they're really strong, but turning your back on an enemy is honestly a dumb move. So is abandoning your weapon for a setup that might not even pay off later. Literally the only reason that worked for Cyan is the fact that you wrote Grun as a thick idiot with no actual fighting skill beyond "charge and neck slash". Even the interesting part of his weapon, the fire in his daggers, falls flat because you don't take the time for him to use it intelligently such as sending fire slashes at his enemy's 'unprotected' back.

All in all, it could have been a good scenario, but it falls a little flat in favour of making your guys look so cool and strong compared to the average "rogue huntsman".