Thread:Bajarias.josef/@comment-26397825-20170112111223/@comment-26397825-20170615114849

How is he hard to notice if he's a chatterbox? Chatterboxes by nature talk loud enough to be heard and noticed, and enough that even when people are trying to ignore them they can't. Personal experience has taught me this is the case (both from being the chatterbox when I was younger and from being around chatterboxes).

The problem with the anger is not so much that it's silent, but that you have exaggerated it to extreme cliches. Lose the 'stares at your soul' part, and just leave it at falling silent and glowering. Silent fuming is a thing, and so is being short with your words and snappish and even happy people can be like that, but 'staring into your soul' is just silly.

What Grimm attack, and why was he close enough to a Grimm to get scarred for life? And why is it only a hidden scar above one eye that sounds pretty much purely there for aesthetic reasons? If you want a small scar above the eye, it can just be gain through a sparring accident. No need for Grimm to attack the village, especially since he's already stepped up to adulthood and struggle with having to practically raise his sister.

Speaking of which, why didn't his parents hire a babysitter or leave him with a trusted adult? They're going to be earning enough to pay for a live in sitter to take care of their kids while they're gone. It's not like they're poor oppressed Faunus dock workers or anything; they're Huntsmen. They're going to be doing high paying jobs and missions, and they're strong enough that civilians wouldn't even think about trying to pay them less just because they're Faunus.

The 'unintentionally risks life but is serious in missions' part makes no sense. If he's serious in the mission, he's not going to be unintentionally risking his life - he's going to be noticing that he will risk his life and doing it anyway because the benefits of success outweigh the chance of failure.