Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25396609-20171207232020/@comment-27144409-20180419011925

Greyrocco009 wrote: 1) Basic Info

So I've had this idea for a rwby fanfic revolving mainly around the children of the characters, I know it seems kinda childish but I've had this really good plot burning inside my skull for a while now, I'm taking it and running and wanted your guys' opinion on the OC’s

cracks neck

Oh boy. Let's get this over with. Fanfiction is not inherently bad, but the execution is important, especially if this this is supposed to be the next generation of this universe's characters.

The name doesn't raise any definite flags, though it implies weakness.

And I'll just put a small yellow flag for the potential religious connection with that symbol analogy.

What do you mean unpigmented? That doesn't sound natural. Or particularly possible.

An unusual trait, but it's not all that useful since night vision is common to most of the Faunus. Keep in mind that this kid could have traits from any animal.

So he's healthy and athletic. He needs some fat though. Zero fat is unhealthy.

That outfit is too vague. Also, tripping hazard: class 2.

Mark as a possible hipster or weird history nut. Who wears sundials, even on their wrists? Just use a watch weirdo.

Ow the bismuthian edges. Odds are Blake enjoys at least a minor status as a famous hero of Menagerie, if not Remnant itself. She would probably have a decent doctor and unofficial support network. Just how would her baby be born "nearly dead"? Also his Semblance sounds self-detrimental unless kept on a tight leash, which is no-fly here. On top of that you're making some rather significant assumptions and raising a lot of questions with a lack of details. Not a very helpful or comprehensive background.

College level anatomy textbook? At age 5? I'm going to call BS.

So he's either monotone or cartoonishly exaggerated? That doesn't seem like a good idea, or one that makes sense with his parents.

Nothing about his mom, dad, or friends, but a paragraph about the guy I'd expect to try skinning the kid alive and send the recording to Blake.

A bit much for skills, but not completely unreasonable.

That allusion has me wary. The tortured artist trope is rotten equine pulp.

I'll pick this up later, but that is a lot of issues.