Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-26397825-20160101143127/@comment-26397825-20160102045328

The eye and hair colour don't need to go in physical traits, since you explain them in the appearance section. However, the beauty mark should stay there, as that is what it is for.

Your outfit reads like she doesn't wear pants...so unless her turtleneck is a mini dress turtleneck, you should probably clarify that.

Why does her twin sister have a different last name? It's not like you specified that her mother kept her last name, or that she was named for one parent and Mary Jane was named for the other. At least make a note in the trivia section that Greenleaf is Mary Jane's adopted name or something, or explain the different last names.

The weapon doesn't sound like a sword. It sounds exactly like you explain it; a double ended fireplace poker. You could call it a Double End Trident Shotgun if you don't want to call it a poker, since it has three prongs on either end like a trident would.

Hmm. I can sort of see how the semblance would work. My question is, how does the backlash of negative emotions work to cause pain? It would cause emotional turmoil and distraction, but not physical pain.