Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25266931-20161119192054/@comment-25936766-20170211163734

KNN005 wrote: Write a song or discuss one. Just wanna say first: You said yourself, that we can discuss the "songs" here.

Discussing problems with them and/or pointing out ways to improve them, is thus on-topic.

Personally, like I've said before, my problem is that there's no sounds or sheet to know about the rhythm or the kind of message it tries to tell.

When only reading the lyrics, It feels like reading the newspaper, not like listening to a song, because it lacks the music, it lacks sounds, and I don't even know where any emphasis falls in each sentence, which can also affect the message.

Sure, I could try to imagine some beat, some music as I read them, but then I have 0 idea if what I imagined is in any way like it's supposed to be, or how whoever made it wanted it to be.

Which affects the message; you could read the same lyrics 2 times. The first time, with Rock music. The second time, with more orchestral instruments and a slower tempo. The perceived message will be stunningly different.

For example, listen to This Will Be The Day. Then, listen to the Acoustic version of that song. Just having different music and tempo makes it feel entirely different, along with what it tries to tell. What previously sounded boastful now sounds mournful.

Let me give you an example of how I feel here: First, read these lyrics:

''You try to run me through,  Hold on''

Think again,

Don't you know,

What you're starting

''But... you sure ain't got a clue,''

How bad

This will go,

Don't you know,

Know my art

(Art of war)

''And as you look to the horizon,  Not a cloud''

But then stormy weather's caught you cold

Seems like it crept up out of nowhere,

All around

You, it's not quite what you foretold

''You'll never see it coming  You'll see that my mind is too fast for eyes''

You're done in

By the time it's hit you, your last surprise

''You think you got your game  Planned out''

To a T

Yet I'm two

Steps ahead yeah

''So... you step into my way''

Stand down

It's a trap

One more step

And you're dead

(Yeah you're dead)

''Why just a picosecond ago,  Clear blue skies''

But now lightning's struck your last resolve

It's not an accident that no one,

Hears your cries

As your last strength seems to dissolve

''You'll never see it coming  You'll see that my mind is too fast for eyes''

You're done in

By the time it's hit you, your last surprise

I'm coming

For you

My game's always so fast, so fine

You're spun in,

By the net you didn't catch in time

Better think

About your game

Are you sure,

Your next move's the right one for you?

Are you sure,

You won't get outmaneuvered again

And again my friend?

''You'll never see it coming  You'll see that my mind is too fast for eyes''

You're done in

By the time it's hit you, your last surprise

''I'm coming  For you''

My game's always so fast, so fine

You're spun in

By the net you didn't catch in time

...Alright, now, after reading it, think: Is it rap? Is it pop rock? Orchestral? Some mixture of them all? Is it supposed to sound villanous? Heroic? Boastful, or condescending?

Now, listen to the actual song. Was it like you thought it was, from the lyrics alone? That's my problem with just writing the lyrics without any sounds.

Some things that could help are:

1) Identifying which parts are the verses, which are the hooks, which are the bridges.

2) Using some extra punctuation to indicate more or less how it's supposed to sound. For example, using ... at the end of a sentence to indicate that it's meant to sound soft there or that there's a pause before the next word.

3) Getting each sentence that's part of the same segment (like a verse) together like I did above. You could separate each segment by double-pressing Enter, like you originally did above. But there's also a thing, a small...code I think? That when added to a sentence, makes the following sentence appear right below it, but not as a different paragraph. You could copy-paste it after every sentence except the last one in a verse.

It appears in the Source editor at the end when you're quoting. I don't write it here because last time I checked, that thing also worked in Visual mode, so if I wrote it it would do what it does but the "code" itself wouldn't appear, so it'd be as if I wrote nothing.