Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-24993958-20160225194034/@comment-27887428-20160229183432

D-kun23 wrote:

Has a small pouch of catnip for his enjoyment.

This is mainly thanks to the fact that the village is on the very same border connecting to the swamps, meaning the village still gets some protection from the kingdom as well as any warrior that happens to be making his way deeper into the area.

he enrolls in Sanctum under a scholarship

-Dislikes: getting his ears pinched or tugged

-Fighting Style: If he feels the opponent isn’t worth his time, he dodges around until he can land a crippling blow. Should the opponent be a challenge or the situation merits for him to go all out, he’ll first do what he can to evade the opponents attacks while examining his opponent before going to a full frontal attack Phantom already mentioned some of the issues I saw as well so I'll mention some of the others I noticed.

-This might just be me but I don't think most faunus have an actual taste for animal food, they retain certain traits (like really enjoying fish as we saw with blake, Sun eats bananas and a lot of fruit, etc.) but they're still mostly human so I don't think they'd literally eat catnip

-I thought that the kingdoms were the only real safe zones and nearly every village outside of them gets destroyed? I know you said it's close but I'm not sure how much protedction they'd really be able to provide

-I'm not sure if scholarships are necessary for these types of schools, I think you just need to pass some aptitude tests well enough and it's mostly payed for by the school itself, after all if it wasn't I feel like we wouldn't be seeing Nora, Ren, Jaune, or Blake attending those schools. Reason why the school can afford it is because they're government run and nearly an extension of the military if not literally in the case of Atlas.

-Again this might just be nit picky but if he doesn't like his ears getting pinched that much then why did he get them pierced? Doesn't that kind of, ya know, pinch when you get it done and tug on them when you're wearing them? I dunno, seemed odd to me.

-The fighting style was my main issue and what really made me decide to do this, first off, how are these fighting styles really different at all? Both are just dodge and get a critical hit, on top of that these are the basics of combat, of course you're going to dodge or block as much as you can until an opening shows itself, you'd be dumb not to unless you're invincible. Try to tell a bit more about it than "I dodge and then hit" and don't focus on fights you aren't interested on unless it's an important part of your character, like how cocky Yang gets when she pretty much knows she's gonna win a fight since her pride is one of her main faults.

Ok, rant over, I don't hate the character but it could definitely improve, also like Phantom said try to be a bit more clear about some of your descriptions, I had to go over certain parts of your weapon description multiple times before getting some understanding of what you meant.

- Never said he ate catnip, cats do enjoy it in other ways, but i agree it can be confusing. I'll edit or scratch it out

- I'm taking what Qrow mentioned of the western area of Mistral in volume 3 and applied it here, just that the village it's right where the swamp area begins, so thugs and the like are probably minimal or high depending on the circumstances

- Agree with the scholarship, edit when able

- For his piercings, he dislikes getting their ears pinched/tugged for no reason, but can man up and endure it if he gets something out of it, which is getting them pierced

- And ok, i'll see what i can do about the fighting style