Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-26397825-20161205132101/@comment-26397825-20161209104203

You need to mention the Kingdom in the beginning, not 2/3rds of the way through the backstory. And there is no indication that the orphanage isn't outside the walls or in Vacuo or something, and he stowed away on a ship to Vale and attended Signal.

Er. You mean the show that had the main kid attending science fairs, and the other kid as a member of a baseball team, and they all went off and did their own thing whilst sharing common living space?

At least a cursory mention is necessary so we know she wasn't the only victim. Otherwise it reads like she is, and it raises questions.

Stop using other fictional works as excuses for your story. They run off different rules of society which RWBY does not run off.

Blake...who is the daughter of the chief of Menagerie and therefore would have some money of her own. Jaune, who's parents knew he was going to Beacon, even if they didn't know that he was going to sneak his way in with fake transcripts, and told him 'good luck' which implies they even fronted any fees required.