Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-30530552-20170401005801/@comment-30530552-20170416023254

Alright, next up is Spirited Dreaming, with Flavio Goban.



Basic Info: 9/10 - Well, considering Flavio  is derived from flavus , which refers to yellow-haired, golden...I think we have our color association out of the way...possibly the contest theme too. EDIT: Yep, it is. The Nickname/Alias tipped it off anyways but I wanted to confirm.

Interesting how both of our submissions based off gold have [had] some sort of delvings within Mistral, and also both work in a (semi-) non-heroic way too, not to mentioning adopting an alternative identity. If I didn’t know any better, I would wonder if you and SYUTK were working together on this project: in cahoots, and such. Seriously, with as many similarities as I found between your two submissions, its fricking scary to see how closely you two can flesh out characters under the same contest theme.



Appearance: 17/20 - Technically, he really isn’t thin for that height, Spirit. BMI actually places where he is as an ideal, average weight for a guy of that height, and smack dab in the center of the curvature. Ooooh, he has a scar from a training accident? I hope I get to see more of that, hopefully you don’t disappoint. EDIT: Dammit.



Characteristics/Backstory: 25/30 - Dammit, no mention of the scar and when he got it. My other issue with this backstory would be that I doubt he’d be able to steal the money from the gang without them noticing, assuming that a pair of petty criminals could actually rummage up enough money from hustling and stealing from people to invest in a gang, which would also be hard to steal money from. Assuming there’s enough for Haven’s tuition, anyway. The rest of it is fine.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:6pt;margin-bottom:8pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Characteristics-wise, it makes sense for someone who has an allusion based on gold...with the personality working in sync with the stereotypes of what gold represents. Nice job with that.

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:18pt;margin-bottom:22pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Trivia: 4 / 5: Alright, for this section, let’s see. You didn’t include color explanations, which would’ve helped immensely for my understanding. You’d better hope I can find stuff for it, otherwise that’s a point deducted. EDIT: Kaltrina is light blue, Ater is “black, dark, gloomy”, <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:700;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">nothing so far for Xander (Xander meaning “defending man”, closest I could come was “xanthos”, Greek word referring to yellow again, it’s fine if you have his last name meaning something, but officially the first name needs to reflect a color), <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;"> Gretal going to Gretel, derived from Margaret, which is derived from the Spanish name “Margarita” referring to “pearl”, Flannery derived from Flannghal, referring to “red valour”, Blaine derived from the Scottish Bláán referring to yellow. So far, I’ve got most of it, but I need Xander’s explanation for full points here.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:18pt;margin-bottom:22pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">The other stuff you have here works well, and you had a good take on this character. Nice job.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:6pt;margin-bottom:8pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Weapon: 14/15 - Nothing to note here, aside from the fact that you have a clusterfuckery of weapon uses here, which seems almost overkill. But that doesn’t really hurt you, so don’t worry.

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:6pt;margin-bottom:8pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Semblance: 13/15 - For clarification, the guy has to basically be a nosy prick and stay relatively close for the recording to not disappear? I also question how Lightning Dust makes it record in Night-Vision, but alas, that’s not my business.

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<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:6pt;margin-bottom:8pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Combat Info: 5/5 - Nothing to detract from here.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:6pt;margin-bottom:8pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Civilian Extension (Optional) - 0 Points recovered.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:6pt;margin-bottom:8pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">And, here’s our final scoring for this submission.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">9 + 17 +25 + 4 + 14 + 13 + 5 = 87 points. Spirit pulls ahead by 4 points, but we still have one person left to judge, and stuff can always happen.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:0pt;margin-bottom:0pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Last but certainly not least, we have Cyrania de Bergerac with her submission Pewter Athena Palladium.