Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-30530552-20170831211428/@comment-30530552-20170924225721

Alright, for our final entry, we have Sentry and his submission Ferr Isati.



Basic Info: 9/10  - CNR is good to go...I would’ve liked to get a general idea of how these arcing missiles looked. A general description of his emblem probably would’ve helped with that.

Appearance: 17/20 - Oooh...going for a better Yatsuhashi, hmm? I like his overall design. You’re still missing a few details though, particularly with skin color, which is a biggy for me since it’s one of the more evident physical features a person can have. I’ll also say that the gauntlet does a fuckton of things and really SHOULD qualify as a secondary weapon, so I’ll go over it in that particular section instead of here. He’s classified as overweight, which is a good thing if you’re going for the bulky amount of muscles that you’ve described.

Backstory + Characteristics: 24/30 - Not sure what you meant by “terribly lean months.” I'll assume that was an autocorrect or something because I can't really think of anything to replace it easily. As for the brother thing, I hope you touch on that later. (EDIT: Nope...points will stay lost over there) Oooh...see, I like this outlook on Beacon he has, despite any sense of meaningful logic I have (which wasn't a lot to begin with). However, this begs the question: did he participate in the Vytal Festival? Was he just visiting Vale like some of the other students + teams? Did FIRE not qualify and stay in Atlas? It’s unspecified.

Trivia: 3/5 - His sin allusion is very evident, thankfully. A shame you made no mention of any relationships, as of right now he basically exists in a social vacuum from what this suggests. WC had a similar problem, but he at least included people there. Relationships are arguably some of the more important parts of a character, and it deserved to be explored more.

Weapon(s): 7/15 - <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Well, that’s a...simple name. Anyways, is this weapon mounted on his suit, or something? I’m also confused as to whether the drill head is the main function, or if it’s just wasted by the rocket’s presumed explosion. Speaking of which, how much ammunition does he carry? Where does he store it? How much can be loaded in the weapon at a time?

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:6pt;margin-bottom:8pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">As for your gauntlet earlier, I’d have probably just left that as his weapon and called it a day. Would’ve made things so much easier and clear. Currently, I have more questions than answers, and that’s not a good thing. The gauntlet is part of what salvaged this section to a degree.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:6pt;margin-bottom:8pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:700;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Semblance: 8/15 - <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Something tells me that atmospheric entry is a bit of hyperbole...at least, I hope it is. There’s a lack of detail here that kinda kills it, as I don’t get a general scope of how powerful it actually is. And presuming it “wipes out Grimm” with his level of enthusiasm, I’d guess pretty powerful...yet, if that’s the case, then it could do for some more limitations.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:6pt;margin-bottom:8pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:700;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Combat Info: 5/5 - <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">It’s all there. Probably could’ve used more detail, but I’ve nitpicked enough so no point loss there.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:6pt;margin-bottom:8pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:700;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">Day to Day Life (Optional): N/A - <span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">No points regained out of possible 10.

<p dir="ltr" style="line-height:1.38;margin-top:6pt;margin-bottom:8pt;"><span style="font-size:11pt;font-family:Arial;color:#d5d4d4;font-weight:400;font-variant:normal;text-decoration:none;vertical-align:baseline;white-space:pre-wrap;">9+17+24+3+7+8+5 = 73

Total: 73 Points.