Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-10380701-20150929232634/@comment-10380701-20151012031331

Okay, let's see how this should end up.

First off is Live's Glacies Ursae

Basic Info

He gets around 10 points right off the bat. Decent detail. I like his symbol. Only thing he's missing is a nickname, but some people don't get/like having one so it can be excused.

Appearance

Holy shit he's a basketball player. He gets around ''' 13 points. ''' His simple attire is stemmed from being a White Fang member, I suppose. Though he did customize it in some manner. Doesn't he have an attire during his student days though? I mean, Ruby was still in Signal when she wore her combat skirt.

Characteristics 

Backstory's the classic "Let's train to be Huntsmen because of our parent's hard work" type except with a twist in that Glacies aborts the story midway through and twists it into "I'm discrminated, time to commit to terrorism!" type, while her sister continues the former.

I get that you're going with the abominable snowman thing with the Grimm, but though I see that one of its actions of not killing Glacies as an act of trolling, there really is no explanation for its behavior, Grimm-wise. By default, Grimm are the enemy of mankind and a downed hooman in front of it is pretty much ripe for the taking. This thing seems to be at least an adult Grimm, so why would it do something stupid like that?

It's a good overall backstory, and I kinda like it. Just gonna say in advance that you can't keep relying on your characters dying/going missing at the end of their story. Sure, it's unique and the like. But it's gonna start losing its charm soon.

Personality's a bit vague, post-White Fang. "Friendly" is a very open term and may mean something between "Nice Guy" and "Screws with other people for laughs in a friendly manner" up to "Funny guy of the group".

Overall, this nets you around 20 points.

Weapon

His first weapon is not a sword at that point. It's actually more closer to a large mace with emphasis on the striking point. And I fucking love that.

And it has a beam cannon inside. Okay, that's kinda cool.

His second weapon he looted from his sister and it's also kinda cool. Except the explanation for its bullets are kinda redundant.

Dust is already used as bullets. In her case, it's powder Dust, which I will be willing to agree on. It's just that the way her weapon is described is like Dust is not being used as bullets already.

Third weapon is... okay I guess. The weapon type convention was kinda botched though. Its simple appearance is justified with the fact that it's Glacies' first weapon. But the way he uses it tickles my fencer bone. With the width of the lance, it's actually stronger as a bashing thing since the size of the blade makes it not as efficient as a rapier in stabbing.

Overall, gets around 13 points. The deduction mostly comes from having too many weapons than reasonably possible for one person to learn. I get it, each weapon is kinda creative, but drastic differences between each other breaks my suspension of disbelief that he knows how to use each.

Semblance

It's a very creative and useful semblance, I'll give you that.

But it's throwing me off. Why specifically having a soul is necessary? You could've just went with aura and we'll be done. Now I have to go ahead and ask for an elaboration. :V

Let's say for example he fights Penny. Would it bounce off or would it affect her, considering the nature of her "soul". If you went with aura, I would go ahead and automatically give you a score already. >_<

This tiny dilemma nets you around 14 points.

Combat Info

Short, simple, brutal and efficient. I like it. He lacks some info on team coordination though. How does he work with fellow Fangs? He gets 7 points for this one.

Trivia

He gets a +2 on Characteristics thanks to the elaboration on his relationship with Nix and her being involved with the creation of Mismar. Father relations really doesn't add much on backstory so no points there.

And finally, the Halloween Bonus. From what I see here, the Grimm is the Yeti/Adorable Snowman thing. So yeah, it wasn't forced or anything and was in fact, integral to Glacies becoming a snow hobo.

So... An additional +8.

Which totals into 87 Points. Live once again starting with a home run kind of score.

Carrying onwards, we get to Vedran's Aluna Marsilea

Basic Info

Nothing wrong here. Have 10 Points on your belt. The freckles seem like a nice touch.

Appearance

Not gonna lie, reading too many straps and leathers on Aluna made me think she may be a dominatrix even though her attire is anything but that. XD

Nothing really notable. That's a quick 14 points.

Characteristics

The intro of her backstory confused me for a bit, since there's no mention that she originated from Vale until like the second paragraph. The mention of shores didn't help matters and I straight up thought she was from Mistral. :V

That said, "that escalated quickly" pretty much sums up her backstory. She's just doing her thing fishing for water Dust when suddenly, BURDS!

Kinda short, honestly. I wanted a bit more elaboration on her workings with the Marsilea family.

Her personality doesn't really have that big of an impact, but that's not necessarily a bad thing. She does things at her own pace and her own way.

I'd say she gets around 17 Points. Backstory felt like it can be expanded and concluded.

Weapon

THE BROOMSTICK THAT WILL PIERCE THE HEAVENS!

Her weapon complementing her semblance is probably the biggest deal with it. Other than that, really nothing to say. 19 Points maybe. Simple, and probably fun as fuck to use if you're Aluna.

Semblance

Gravity was not amused.

The semblance feels overpowered. But given that it only affects Aluna, it may not be as dangerous as it appears. She nets 18 points for her more clever usage of a simple, but powerful semblance.

Combat Info

Okay, she's aware of how hype her own fighting style can become and capitalizes on it by fighting like an angry bee. Seeing her in action is probably gonna be awesome.

That said, despite its awesomeness, it doesn't really take into mind how she would fare with allies around, especially since she was once a part of a team.

8 Points. It's not a very easy fighting style to utilize, given that Aluna needs to think in 3D when considering her opponent's weaknesses.

Trivia

All her trivia combined nets her a general +1. The freckles ARE a nice touch.

As for the Halloween bonus? It's not blatant, and I don't think you noticed it yourself, but I think Aluna just bewitched the smiling man. :D

 +7 

That's 94 Points. Jeezus.

And with that, let's go to Phantom's Arevik Lusashogh 

Basic Info

Nothing really wrong here once again. 10 Points. I think by this point, Basic Info is pretty much just a freebie because no one ever screws up here.

Appearance

Not gonna lie. Her formal attire is far more fancier than her work attire. Them hidden compartments tho. :V

This gets her around 13 points. The deduction mostly comes from her lack of casual attire.

Characteristics

Nothing really wrong with backstory. She's effectively Security McNinja.

Honestly, the fact that there's really nothing going on with her is the bad part. Her story's too simple and direct. It's the classic "Let's train to become Huntsmen" backstory. A lot of drama could be induced between her and Umuthi, but nothing really happened. Sibling-related issues could come by as well.

Overall kinda underwhelming.

Personality suits her occupation, however. Like backstory, it needs some more elaboration. Is she depressed, quiet, or just the shy type? A stealthy person doesn't automatically result in the silent but deadly type of character. =/

This gets her around 13 Points.

Weapon

Knives knives knives. Knife nut. The simplicity of her weapon is based on her occupation, so there's that. Arguably, it actually only has one form, just placed differently on her body.

Honestly, you should've went ahead and told all the weapons she has on duty. That may give you a boost in points.

Her knives gets 11 Points. The fact that she has far more weapons in hand is good knowledge. Not knowing what those weapons are is not.

Semblance

AI FOKKIN LUV COLOURING.

The limitations of her semblance are vague though. It can change the color of anything she touches. Sure.

What if she touches Beacon Academy's wall? Would the entire school become pink? Or for a more less-grounded object, how about if she touched an entire battleship?

It is a creative semblance, which isn't useful for combat in first sight, but it has its uses.

This gets you 15 Points. Deduction comes from lack of mentioned limitation.

Combat Info

Again, straight to the point, but once again, not really descriptive. Her landing strategy sounds specific though. What if she's in a heavily urbanized area?

Overall, around 6 Points.

Trivia

This is mostly out of the fact that you really didn't push yourself too hard in the contest this time, but I'm giving out a freebie +3 on all the trivias just to get your score up a bit.

Furthermore, you really didn't specify a specific aspect of Halloween. The "changing costumes" part appears more to be based on the sun's multi-colored capabilities.

But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt and give you +5.

That's a total of 76 Points. I get the feeling that you half-assed Arevik just to put her in the contest.

And then we get to newly promoted Forum Mod (congrats!) Spirited and her Urdin Eraztun

Basic Info

Oh that's interesting. I rarely ever see a Signal dropout. I'm expecting good things. We now have two polar bears though. 10 Points.

Appearance

From his attire, I'm gonna assume he's a low-ranking member, thus the simplicity. This makes it hard to score him though.

I'm giving him 8 Points out of 10. The rest of the 5 I'll throw into his backstory if it's done well.

Characteristics

So he's effectively the guy that went through shit but can't handle it once it reaches the breaking point. I can buy that, though dropping out felt a little too excessive.

He joined a cult though, so there's that. :V

Overall, his backstory is short on account of being fairly young. But it left a good impression so that's one bonus. Maybe some elaboration on how he fared and interacted with his fellow Fangs would help give some insight on how he views his current way of life.

From what I see, he's a pretty swell guy, and a cunning one at that. He'll be a deadly force if he grows up this way.

He gets around 20 Points for his trouble.

Weapon

I think you meant "Rusalka". Did you accidentally swap out the i and a in Rusalka and Slavic? =/

It's a pretty good design actually, and for his age, that's a pretty decent weapon. It's not fully optimized yet due to him being a dropout, but I can see him making it pretty damn useful down the line.

Here, have an 18 Points for your trouble.

Semblance

His semblance is effectively the same as what Blake and Sun can do. Except based on deception rather than evasion and offense respectively.

Its potential is pretty good. The only thing really holding back this semblance is inexperience.

That's around 16 Points.

Combat Info

His fighting style is effectively a zoner from fighting games. He has his perfect distance where he destroys his foes. It's short, but I can already view how he fights, and that's what matters.

8 Points for that.

Trivia

You get +2 on both family relations, and clever application of Neptune into Urdin.

When it comes to semblance, honestly, if it works, it works. I don't see anything wrong with his semblance. It's not overpowered as it doesn't hurt things. It CAN be used as an intimidation weapon.

His Halloween theme is actually pretty well thought out. It's pretty integral into his entire backstory. Have a +9

That totals into 91 Points. I'm liking what I'm seeing in the contest so far.

And finally, we get to Cyrania's '''Pearl Sterling. '''I personally find her surname amusing, for reasons I'll reveal at the bottom.

Basic Info

Ooh, this may be the first deduction I'll give. While she overall doesn't have too many problems, her occupation puts a small dent into her score. What team is she in?

9 Points for that.

Appearance

What's with most of you guys all sharing a 6 feet height on your OCs? =/

Nothing really wrong with appearance. I find her outfit well-detailed. Her only real problem is lack of a casual attire. Have 12 Points for that.

Characteristics

Circus performer? Now that's a rare sight. The only other circus-related OCs I know of are the Natsuko sisters over at the Fanon Wiki.

She also has a pretty good reason for becoming a Huntress too, which is a good plus. The adaption to city life is a nice detail.

I thought for a sec you mistyped "urumi" until I looked it up and facedesked myself for not knowing about it.

Overall, it's the classic "Let's train to become Huntsmen" backstory once again. But I found it interesting.

Her personality's pretty straightforward and blunt, and she's definitely not the type that obeys authority.

That's  20 Points . Despite the simplicity, I respect attention to detail in a backstory.

Weapon

Not gonna lie, each section I see, I see more of my OCs. XD

Whipblades are generally impractical. But the Urumi is one of the few that actually works albeit being one of the riskiest weapons to learn in real life.

Combine that with Dust and we're seeing a whirlwind of death.

Also, the fact that she carries a secondary weapon in case her super difficult to use weapon gets fucked over demonstrates some manner of crazy preparedness.

That's around 17 Points. Deduction comes from the fact that I had to look up HOW exactly an Urumi works to get the proper mental image. I would've imagined it as a chain-operated blade whip otherwise.

Semblance

Her semblance is... strange? But strangeness does not mean useless.

Oh, Spirited made it? That's... well, I'm not sure how to score it given that you yourself didn't make it.

As such, I'll give you 8 Points. I'll give you up to 15 Points if I can get confirmation that using a Semblance made by another user is allowed.

Combat Info

Ohai. Through her semblance her hair becomes prehensile. That's kinda gimmicky. Combine that with her already gimmicky weapon and we're looking at a dangerous foe on account of her fighting style just being plain weird.

That's awesome. You get around 8 Points for the clever usage of everything in her arsenal.

Trivia

Family and Team Relations gets you around +2.

However, as she's more focused on the pearl, rather than the Moon itself, you get a -5

Additionally, Circus people aren't really associated with Halloween, so that can't actually be counted. Unfortunately you don't get any Halloween bonus.

Which totals into 71 Points, or 78 Points if the semblance thing is clarified.

With these results, here are the rankings.

1.94 for Vedran

2.91 for Spirited

3.87 for Live

As of now, Phantom ad Cyrania are in battle for 4th place because of the Semblance issue involving Pearl.

With that out of the way, Vedran wins this Month's OCC with Aluna Marsilea!

Have a cookie for your trouble.