Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25936766-20161203005301/@comment-25936766-20161217010505

Spirited Dreaming’s Savannah Pearce.`

1-Basic Info 9/10 –I thought Pearce meant “Pierce” before I did the research.

-Would’ve been nice if you said what WSTR meant in this section (not losing points for it though, it’s not a big mistake, and you did say it later on).

Everything looks fine so far….though it would’ve been nice if you had said she was a hybrid.

2-Appearance 9/10 –Huh…green. I expected something more orange, like Amber.

-Dat combat outfit….what is she, some DC Superheroine? Given her personality given later, she doesn’t strike me as the kind of woman to wear something like that.

Everything looks fine so far besides that….

3-Backstory 10/20 –Shouldn’t it be, Combat School? Combat Academy refers more to Beacon/Haven/Atlas/Shade Academy.

-She never quite found herself clicking with any of them”. She should’ve turned to the internet then. Everyone’s always clicking with each other.

-“and slipped into the life of being ‘human’ easily”.



-…Say, what power, exactly, does Cimet have over Savannah, post-graduation? He knows she’s a faunus? So what, it’s not like he can go tell everyone, and even if he tried, so what? What, will she become a persona non grata? Of course not. Plus, it’s not like everyone knows her.

Even if her old mates found out, at worst it would hurt the relationship that’s already pretty much severed. If her family found out? She hardly talks to them to begin with.

Does Cimet even have anything else he could blackmail her with? Apparently, he doesn’t. “She’s a faunus” is all he has.

I get that “people are flawed and can make dumb decisions”, but I seriously hate it when it’s clear X has no power over Y anymore and yet Y still obeys/fears them without Y having to do anything.

-So she decided to become an Atlesian Specialist to “become more anonymous”……and why not simply go to, say, Vacuo, or Polystralia? No one has any (racial) problems in Vacuo, which is also right besides Vale, and Menagerie is the most-away safe place available, where no one would care if she’s a faunus (if anything, they would hate her if she pretended to be a tattooed human).

-“She failed to enlist in the Atlas Military, her low average grades from Beacon causing her to fall short of the theoretical test requirements even if she met the physical test requirements.”

I find this hard to believe. Militaries, every single one, have very low standards for recruits grades-wise. In fact, a sizable chunk of soldiers in all of them did not have any decent education, some don’t even know how to write well and still get recruited with no problem.

Basically, in a military, inteligence is worth less than strength. As long as you can follow orders and not fuck things up, you’re in. You may not be “Prime Soldier” material, may be useless for anything that isn’t Combat, but you’re “Soldier” material and that’s all they need for the greater most part.

Now, failing to become a Specialist does make more sense….or would, if we actually knew the standards. We know nothing about them nor the requirements. For all we know, you must have graduated from Atlas, not just any academy. For all we know, Specialist is just “Hunter who works for the Atlesian Military instead of being freelancer”.

-“The previous teacher retired when she was 26, bumping her up to being the full time teacher at Atlas Academy” …Is that really how it works?

I’m perfectly sure that, should a teacher retire, the academy would look for a new teacher, instead of just giving the job to the assistant who graduated with low-average grades. At most, Savannah would’ve been a substitute teacher until then.

3-Personality 9/10 –Personality itself is consistent and fine….

-Dislikes: “Emotional Manipulation”…what would she/you call “Emotional” manipulation? Guilt-tripping, abusing sympathy and affection from others for selfish means, using someone’s emotions to persuade them to do something….that’s what I consider Emotional manipulation.

What Cimet was doing….wasn’t quite emotional manipulation. He blackmailed her, using her secret to keep her doing stuff for him in fear of the consequences, but he did not employ actual emotional manipulation in my book.

4-Trivia 2/5 Would’ve been nice if you described her relationships with at least her brothers and teammates in more than just laconic, general detail. Hell, I don’t even know the names of said teammates.

Notes: -“Symbol is because she wishes she was all those things that an Enso means, and it looks similar to a leopard's spots.”….yeah, I don’t know about you, but Ensos look nothing like leopard spots beyond being circular (and not all leopard spots are even circular).

The ensō symbolizes absolute enlightenment, strength, elegance, the universe… and mu. Mu meaning “to not have/nothingness/absence”….is she a closet nihilist?

-“She pretended to be human because she thought it was easier than being a faunus, not because of any actual racism”. Yeah, I got that already while reading the backstory, though I guess thanks for outright saying so?

-“Subtle racism was a factor in why she didn’t pass the tests to become an Atlas Specialist; she would have barely scraped in but the examiner in charge of her test decided that since she was a faunus and only barely scraped in, there was no point in allowing her to be a part of such an elite group as she’d likely fail at something and bring bad PR to the Specialists as a whole.”

I feel her backstory would’ve been fine without that bit. For starters, in that whole sentence the “Faunus” part just feels unnecesary. She could barely pass but the examiner said No because she’d likely fail which could hurt the Specialists’s reputation. That’s not something that would change if she was human. In fact, I don’t see how being a Faunus has anything to do with that decisión, nor do I see anything that really says “racism”.

At most, that she would fail because she was a Faunus on top of having mediocre grades, but if you remove the Faunus part, nothing changes and it still makes sense.

5-Weapon 10/10 – (Non Sequitur) I always wonder why every time people say Gunblades, everyone thinks of Final Fantasy. Even though really only about 2, maybe 3 people in the franchise have used them, and of them, Squall’s is less of a gun than Myrtenaster is, and Lightning stopped using hers from XIII-2 onward (not counting Dissidia).

-“Grass because Savannah”….sounds too….general. It’s like saying “Earth cause Beach” (sand), or “Water cause Tundra” (snow).

I like the weapon in general. It even kinda gave me an idea for a Gunblade (“kinda” because it’s more along the lines of Cervantes’s gunblade from Soul Calibur).

6-Semblance 8/15 –Speeds-up Perception…..but not actual reflexes (until T3)? I’m not sure how this would cause her to see things in Slow-Mo. Maybe see things like colors or moving objects quicker. Maybe notice things faster. Maybe become able to follow quick movements with more ease. But actual Slow-Mo…

Personally, if you changed Perception for “Reaction Time” or “Adrenaline”, it would’ve been more believable.

-It’s hard to tell really how much it buffs Perception in T1. You say it’s “sped up by 2”, whatever 2 means. Unless you mean “2x”.

-Finally, someone who added Reflection of Personality; Now, the part of being “more of an observer”, the Semblance fits it. The part of “perceiving others with envy”….it does not.

(Also, missed chance of seeing things in white and orange).

7-Combat Info 7/10 –“Swordsman” is horrendously unspecific, as both class and position. Class-wise, it can mean Warrior, Paladin, Knight, Berserker, Samurai, and many others. And even non-Warrior classes like Mages and Rangers can be Swordsmen.

Position-wise, it doesn’t tell me if she’s a Swashbuckler, Support, Tank, or anything. Even range-wise, it doesn’t inform me enough, given this is a show where 9/10 weapons is a gun, and the remaining 1 can still shoot Blade Beams or other stuff.

-The rest is fine.

8-Day to Day life:

-Skills: Weapon forging was expected, machine repair not so much +1

-Occupation: Nothing new: 0

-Certificates: …There are certificates for Basic first aid? 0

Total: 9+9+10+9+2+10+8+7+1= 27+30+8=65

Sentence: Clicking

You’ve participated before, as everyone knows, making this sentence unnecesary filler written for the sake of being written.