Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-24993958-20151106142232/@comment-24993958-20151107233852

Not a big fan of amnesiacs but that’s not objective criticism…let’s see:

Personality is on the flat side. I mean, you say he acts when other people commit murders as if every other hunter wouldn’t. Find something else to replace that, maybe his stance on mysteries since his past is one? Or maybe a personality trait you can link to the semblance.

Weapon has a risk of going against canon if the team is formed before RWBY’s year, or he sucks at it…and something tells me you don’t want him to suck. Remember in V1 Ozpin specifically states to Ruby he hasn’t seen a skilled scythe user since Crow, so if it’s introduced earlier you mess up the canon.

Try and shave off 2 stats on statistics. A student should have room to grow, so we try and average out first years to around 14 stats total….unless he’s a second year, in which case explain what’s with the “Newly formed” bit in occupation.