Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-27082610-20170424154014/@comment-26397825-20170512120341

DragonNAW5 wrote: Age: 17 As was pointed out by Ark, why is he a second year at Atlas? Was he specifically invited two years early by Ironwood like Ruby was, and if so why?

Nicknames: Van, Leo

Occupation: Works as a painter, does side projects for Atlas Van and Leo? Can you explain the nicknames to me since he doesn't have a name? The only thing I can think of is that he's nicknamed after the famous painters from our world, Victor Van Gogh and Leonardo Da Vinci...who would not exist in Remnant.

Works as a painter, does side jobs for Atlas...no mention of his occupation as a Huntsman in Training. Also, why is he working two part time job?

2) Appearance:

Hair: Very short in the sides (almost buzzed but a little longer than that) and on the top is a long Mohawk that is flopped over on its side and is laying across the left side of his head. His hair color is a light brown that is lighter on the sides and darker on the top.

Physical Traits: He has wolf ears which are black with a light shade of grey on the inside.

Outfit: Looks like this but minus the blue jacket around waist. What I'm getting from this is that he dyes either his hair or his ears. As shown in V4 with Blake's ears changing colours from their original purple, Faunus traits with fur match their natural hair colour. Sun has blonde hair and tail, Velvet has brown ears and hair, Blake has black ears and hair, Neon has Orange hair and tail.

An argument can be made for the tips of spots on the trait to be another colour (Blake was originally supposed to have orange spots on her ears and Neon's tail is lighter at the tip than her hair), but the main colour is the same colour as their natural hair colour.

I think there was meant to be a link on the outfit, but wikia ate it.

3) Characteristics:

Background:Mother and father are atlas research and development scientists. His mother is a Jack rabbit Faunus. His dad is a tortoise Faunus. His mother worked on a project that involved using micro robots to make prisoners more "compliant". His father was working on how to replicate and manipulate brain waves for possible AI units. His mother made home his spear that combines paint dust and micro bots that he can control using his semblance. Jayden and his family lives in Atlas and thanks to his parents work for Ironwood and Atlas, they are very well off, owning a whopping 15 acres of land. This bit is fine. It sets up where they live, what and who his parents are, how they are financially, and even that he isn't the one who came up with and made the technology for nanobots in paint mixed with dust that he uses for his weapon.

Jayden isn't a moocher though, Jayden works for Atlas research and development, his main work there is a technician and a handyman helping whoever needs it. Jayden has always been good with science and tech and let's just say there is enough of his trophies and medals to make a statue of himself. Even though Jayden is very intelligent he wants to be painter who can mix modern art with technology. The moocher part itself is fine; it is a common trope for those born into wealth to not want to live off their parents money.

The problem here is the 'he can make a statue of himself from his trophies' part which is then immediately followed by his desire to be an artist. Then you take into account that at 17 he is working two jobs plus attending a demanding college course; first as a professional painter, second in the actual Atlas R&D department itself, and finally at Atlas Acadmey.

It needs to be pulled back a notch; either he's a person who paints for a living and dreams of combining tech and traditional painting (which...that's already a thing. It's called tablets and paint programs. Here, an example of someone who uses traditional painting techniques translated over to high tech canvas to create great pieces of art), or he's a busybody around the Atlas R&D helping out and basically being an apprentice to the technicians who dreams of being a painter, or he's in training to be a Huntsman who paints as a hobby and tinkers with technology between training.

He can't be doing three jobs at once and have enough time to be amazing at them all. Ruby is a weapon's nut; she designed and made Crescent Rose herself and adores weapons. She doesn't have a side job as a weapons designer for the Vale Police Department, however, because she's training to be a Huntress. It's a demanding job.

Jayden is very emotionally driven. He thinks the world is the most beautiful and perfect art piece and he just wants to paint his portion. He once tried to beat up a group of teenagers who were abusing fire dust in the forest, didn't work out too well. Jayden knows that destruction is a part of this worlds art but the soulless Grimm are a blemish, an unhappy accident as Bob Moss would say, and he wants to eradicate the impurity of remnant.

Personality: He is very emotionally driven. Look at backstory for ideals and bonds. Intelligent, easy to talk to, empathetic, has a small spending problem ( it's pretty big) That whole paragraph belongs in his backstory, and why did he try to use force to deal with kids mucking around with fire dust? Nothing in his backstory suggests that he's the type to use foce; in fact, given his intelligence levels he should be the type to not be emotionally driven and use logic instead.

4) Trivia

Notable Relationships: Works for Ironwood and meets him at work every now and then but he doesn't think Ironwood actually knows who he is, and that he is just another researcher. Why is he meeting Ironwood in the R&D department as an unqualified kid with no proper training and working as a handyman? Ironwood is the General of an army, sits on two seats of Atlas's council and is the Headmaster of the Academy; he doesn't have time to go wandering through the R&D department to meet random unqualified handymen. And if he did meet them, his reaction wouldn't be "Oh, good, you're doing your job", it'd be "What is a teen doing here? Where are his qualifications? He doesn't have any? Get him out of here then."

Allusion: Not sure what to put here, is it important? Canon characters have allusions; things that they give nods to in their design. Weiss alludes to Snow White; her name means white snow, she wears a pendant with an apple on it, she is practically a Princess with her standing in society. Ruby alludes to Little Red Riding Hood; she wears a red cloak and fought a pack of Beowolves in her Trailer. Blake alludes to Beauty and the Beast; she reads by candelabra during initiation, she loves to read, she is the 'beauty' and the 'beast' all in one (being a beautiful young woman who is a Faunus).

They're not based on the stories, they simply have a few minor design choices that make a nod towards the allusion. They are their own character without it, and the allusion does not dictate their personality, backstory, weapons or semblance except where it would be a cool little nod (such as Penny and her strings and Pinnochio who was a puppet).

A) Weapon

Name: Brush (Yeah lame u know but simplicity is beautiful in itself)

Classification: Spear

Short Description: It is a lightweight spear that utilizes micro bots, paint and dust to make an object that he can control with his Technopathy. How? Does the spear hold the dust-bots inside the shaft? Also, I'm not sure what the point is, to be honest. You don't need tiny robots to control dust; you can control things you made out of Dust even after it's been created. See Weiss creating an ice sword in Breach and then swinging it despite having no technology or semblance to actually swing the sword.

Landing Strategy: As he is falling he uses his spear to make paint and creates an energy absorbing blob that cushions his descent How does paint create an absorbing blob? It's not spongy unless super thick and dry. Why not have him created a staircase or grappling hook out of the microbots, or an ice slide out of ice using the mircobots as a base outline?

Expanded Occupation/Business Details: Works for Ironwood's research and development center with his mother and father, because of his age he works mainly as a handyman but he enjoys helping out where he can. In total his parents and him make $2-4 mil a year (US currency converted to Remnant Currency of course) sometimes double if their projects work out well. On the side he is a painter and owns his own art studio. Most of his work he sells but he does keep a few that are sentimental to him, he usually makes anywhere from $500-$1,000 in a month it really depends on the demand. Working for Ironwood has really slowed down while he is training to become a hunter but his art business barely felt a difference, maybe a little less time but still always beautiful. Way too many jobs. He'd never sleep or eat between working on artworks, working at the R&D and attending an Academy. A decent sized painting can take days to do properly between layering, blending, and waiting for layers to dry properly so you don't screw them up when you go to work on it more.

Certificates: He has a degree in art, license to fly several aircrafts.(I know it isn't in the backstory, but that is only because I didn't think it was relevant) When did he have time to do all this?

A degree in art, sure, fine. You can take courses online, do it part time, it would take about 4 years to get a high level degree (high enough to count as a degree anyway, but definitely not a Doctorate). But how is he then going to have time to also work in R&D and attend combat school/Atlas Academy alongside learning to fly several airships.

Dust use: 2=3 points How does he have 3 points in Dust use? He only uses dust in at most 2 different ways; Dust channeling weapons and pure Dust spells. That's only 2 points.

Oh my god. I just realised who he's based off. Heero from Big Hero Six. Child prodigy who develops advanced technology and uses microbots and starts going to college with his older brother to hang out despite being a middle school kid. The original helmet idea even references it; Heero's microbots are controlled by a headband which connects to the user's mind and gives them control over all the microbots, which the villain stole at the beginning of the series and started weaponising them to enact his revenge.