Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25396609-20150530162910/@comment-25555436-20150606205638

Now, it's Jay's turn. Asimi Grey....Grey? great, I was starting to feel tense, I needed something to polish my shoes.

1)Basic Info:

-The first name, doesn't really seem to fit the CNR, apparently. However, due to his age, I'll assume he was born before or during the war, and as such the CNR didn't exist back then.

-"Looks older than he is - or is it younger?" I don't know, you tell me. (Total score: 18pts because seriously, if you say ^, do you seriously expect us to know just by reading a bunch of text? His appearance doesn't truly indicate if he looks younger or older, and even then, appearance is only so related to age).

2) Appearance:

-Damn, he's small.

-Let's see if I got his outfit right....he wears a cloak when pretending to be an old hunchback merchant, which covers almost all his body. When not pretending to be an old hunchback merchant, he removes the cloak showing a grey business suit and standing up-right, changing from "everyday old merchant" to "sophisticated important businessman". Interesting....(total: 20 pts).

3)Personality and Background:

-I wouldn't blame anyone if they thought he's based on Loki. He's a mischievous, trickster merchant that knows how to hide his true intentions, but is actually a nice person at heart. Mysterious, intriguing, but interesting and has some good qualities (Personality: 15 pts).

-A short background, but thankfully it keeps things simple that way. Let's see, he acted as a messenger between groups of Hunters, giving supplies and information to the group he was sent to and any person he met on his way there that he felt deserved a small, helping hand. All the while keeping a mysterious Persona and a neutral moral stand. Eventually retired to Wander The Earth alone, which for some weird reason was his lifelong dream.....

Other than the guy having terrible goals in life, it's quite simple, but explains some things about him. The downside to making it so short though, is that because of that we don't really much about him. Given his character type, It's not so bad this time, but I expected to know more about him other than "he's a messenger". (Background: 17 pts).

4)Combat Info...damn, you really went for simplicity here.

-Using Parkour makes perfect sense given he is/was a thief. A person that dedicated itself to parkour for a great deal of it's life would have bones and muscles strong enough to keep doing it for a long time, though I'm not sure it is a practical thing to do around the 50-60 years mark. (LS: 4 pts).

-Weapon: Just a simple, single, folding-frame sword? .....While there is nothing particularly wrong with being simplistic, be too simple, and the result just ends up dull. This is RWBY, embrace creativity and a bit more complexity. (Weapon: 3 pts).

-Semblance: I've been already explained how it makes one invisible. Would explain how he's never caught and how he did his job so well before. Basically just blind people with it, or be a bit more creative and make himself almost-invisible. Depleting Aura steadily, especially when moving, is a good limitation, as it ensures he can't just abuse it or stay hidden forever. (Semblance: 9 pts).

-Mmm....not sure I quite like how you describe his fighting style. You're basically saying he can move and attack very quickly, along with being pretty agile, which is understandable in a thief...but remember his age. Given he uses Aura and Aura helps with physical limitations, it's not particularly bad however. (Fighting style: 4 pts).

5) Trivia:

-.....If he's a person of interest in multiple major governments and groups, I find it hard to believe that he has been able to steal for most of his life and never been caught, or at least suspected.

-Based on Hermes, god of travel and yadah yadah. Didn't Hermes have a staff though? And a pair of flying sandals? It would have been interesting to see their RWBY equivalent. Staff with folding blade and a pair of air shoes?

-Say Jay, have you ever heard The Messenger, by Your Favourite Enemies?

Total Score: 18+20+15+17+4+3+9+4=90

Good job Jay. A good, interesting character all-around, no one particularly OP yet not particularly useless.

Though your apparent-obsession with simplicity in the making of Asimi is not something I liked. Simplicity is not bad, but it felt like you were afraid of making him a more complex character with more complex weapon and traits.

But don't worry. Overall, he's