Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-26173711-20190509052121/@comment-25396609-20190627184940

I actually kind like this one but it desperately needs work writing-wise.

AtlasGrimoire wrote: -Name: Weakening mist

-User: Heliotrope Vortimer

-Introduction: a cloud of mist that reduces the momentum/speed of anything in its area. Starts weak, but ramps up over time. Always tries to move to keep the user in the center, but moves slower than them so it can lag behind. Given the relative simplicity of the Semblance I suggest trimming the introduction down a bit.

-Description: A cloud of purplish mist that surrounds the user in a large sphere.

-Upon entering the mist, people and objects will gradually begin to slow. Targets become noticeably sluggish within 15 seconds and freeze in place entirely after 60.

-User is immune to effects and may exempt other people and objects.

-The mist moves at around 4 feet per second, making it drag behind the user if they move to fast for it to keep up.

-Range: Medium, as the radius of the mist cloud is around 15-20 feet.

-Type: Conjuration. -I've re-written the description into a more readable format and removed some redundancies, I do NOT want you to use my version for your own revisions, I am simply giving it as an example.

Using the highest diameter for the Semblance and lowest speed for a .22 caliber round (one of the smallest commercially produced bullets), it would pass through the entire cloud in ~0.025 seconds. That is MUCH too fast for the Semblance to set in; so in my example version the bullet protection has been eliminated.

-Purpose: Mix of all types. Can slow down opponents who are fighting in the radius, making them sluggish and easier to fight for offense, slowing projectiles to non lethal levels for defense, and a few possible utility tricks.

-Visual Cue: A big cloud of purplish mist exploding from the users body, with all the usual visual traits of mist.

-Auditive Cue: Just a windy poof sound effect.

-Just write in utility as we added that purpose class specifically for Semblances that do a bit of everything. The how and why of purpose are written elsewhere. -Trim down visual cue, simply "A cloud of purplish mists erupts from the user's body" is more than enough.

-General Limitations: The range is quite limited as it is a 15-20 foot radius, which moves quite slowly. The time it takes for a creature to be slowed down to much to be able to leave the radius is much much more than it would take a creature to realize the effects and get out of the radius. Only one cloud can be active at one time, and the user can only create a new one every minute or so. -Range is already listed under range -Your limitations betray the fatal flaw of the Semblance: it takes too long and is thus effectively useless. Ditch the wind-up time in favor of an instant (but weaker) debuff and make use of tiers to increase the effects.

-Applications: The user keeps the semblance a secret, using it as a surprise trick to slow opponents just enough to land a fatal or at least disabling blow. Combined with the users shield and generally defensive fighting style, the opponent is to busy slashing away at the user to realize the effects before it is to late. A fun use is to activate it while falling to allow the users team to float to the ground without needing to employ landing strategies.

-Dust Interaction: None.

-Notes: Tried to make a general debuff focused semblance, themed for a kinda hunter of hunters type character. And finally; if your so-called surprise attack takes a minimum of 15 seconds to kick in and gives away your presence in advance, you're fucked.

Keep in mind I have not applied any of my suggestions for fundamental changes into the edits I made to the description; as it is your decision whether or not to implement them.

If you REALLY want this to be an anti-huntsman assassin type, go back to ground level and rebuild it as some sort of aerosolized paralytic agent (like stun spore in Pokemon). Limit the duration of paralysis and add a short immunity period after people recover to power balance it.

If you want it to be a less agressive ability, useful against more than just humans/faunus take the route i suggested before and rework it to not rely on a gradual slowing effect. The instant (but less extreme) slowdown will also allow it to be functional against bullets to a degree.