Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25936766-20160701133235/@comment-25936766-20160714165917

Hookshot's Azeiv Tafal

-Basic Info: 13/15 For personal reasons too long to bother to put here, I believe that what needs to fit CNR is the first name, the given name, not the last name only. So -2 for that. Everything else looks fine.

-Appearance: 14/15 You say 223....223 what? I will assume lbs. He seems pretty big and heavy. His casual outfit looks so militaristic, though I like all 3.

-Backstory: 17/20 Not bad, but it gets melodramatic at times. For example, when Celeste was nearly reduced to tears when Azeiv told her "I try not to make friends because daddy told me friends are for pussies".

Another complain is that it doesn't...quite fit the Reverse Tower. The, upright, Tower Arcana means when something changes, and brings disaster, destruction. That something shatters the status-quo, and/or knocks you down in one way or another. The Reverse Tower, meanwhile, is when the hypothetical tower remains standing. Maybe what was thought to be grave was nothing serious. Maybe something is preventing it from falling. But in the end, the status-quo remains.

I say it doesn't quite fit because in general, it doesn't, it fits more the upright Tower due to the "emotional storm" Azeiv was suffering. The only part that fits it is the "thought to be serious, but wasn't" part, because the situation just feels melodramatic.

-Personality: 10/10 I like it, fits his backstory.

-Likes/Dislikes: Interesting how he hates his own awkwardness. +1

-Notable Relationships: 1/5. I appreciate telling us his kind of relationship with his teammates, but I was expecting far more detail, not to mention details of his relationship with is parents.

-Weapon: 10/10 Seems pretty good. Reminds me of an idea I had for a weapon.

-Semblance: 9/10 I like the Semblance. Though I don't feel it's quite fitting enough. He wants to protect others, but this one only protects himself. It's not totally unfitting, I just don't feel it's fitting enough.

-Combat Info: 10/10 Fits him, fits his weapon and his Semblance.

-Civilian Extension: Just a tip. In the skills area, you say "fighting, training"....when adding stuff to that section, try to not add anything obvious or expected. It's like saying a swordsman from an order of swordmen is good with a sword. He's a Hunter, if he wasn't skilled at fighting, there's a problem.

Overall Points: 85