Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25555436-20150618003008/@comment-25405817-20151119192059

Cyrania de Bergerac wrote: Grimm come to our world and wreak havoc. Then a few weeks later, early college age kids (either cannon or fanmade) wake up with no memory in various hospitals with superpowers, weapons, and natural instincts for killing the strange beasts.


 * First, "Grimm come to our world and wreak havoc" and then "early college age kids (either cannon or fanmade)" is a complete contradiction. If it is OUR world, how come that "cannon" characters are in our world?
 * Second, "early college age kids." There are many better ways to phrase this description. This is awful syntax.
 * Third, "wake up with no memory." Amnesia is a difficult trope to use. More often than not, it gets botched.
 * Fourth, "with superpowers, weapons, and natural instincts." Do the "weapons" suddenly appear in the beds of these children that were in these hospitals, probably on intense treatement or in a comma? A little contrived, don't you think?
 * Fifth, So the plot of this story is suddenly having random kids have their minds and bodies warped to transform into the characters from RWBY? Why not having the RWBY cast be teleported to Earth too? MUCH less contrived.
 * Sixth:
 * "Canon": A set of objects, characters and events that belong to the official universe of a show. "Cannon": A combat equipment designed to shoot large projectiles.
 * "Fanmade" characters are extremely suceptible of Mary-suism, so they are tricky to work with.