Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25396609-20171207232020/@comment-27966940-20180402160232

Bluewindbag wrote: Kirito Rose wrote: My advise, try to intergrate all thiose things creativly into his backstory, Dude, I changed it! what do you think? Better, though some parts of it were out of place and felt a bit choppy.

I'd recoomend you put all information about his parents and what they taught him in the same area to make it a bit more flowy.

Also, this is just a personal nitpick of mine, but when listing the members of his team, I ussually list them all, leader to last member.