Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-26397825-20170430155022/@comment-26397825-20170528093724

And last but not least, Ahpolki Inika with Seti Keone

1) Basic Info - 9 points

I would like to point out that emblems are a single colour, with the background depending one where it is placed, such as Yang’s black heart on her yellow singlet in her original outfit but a white heart on her black stockings in her Hunter outfit. Also, you used Hunter instead of Huntsman. Huntsman is a professional title, such as Barista instead of Waitress or Waiter who makes coffee.

2) Appearance - 17 points

At 150lbs, he’s more than just lean. He’s underweight, and if he’s got any muscles at all he’s skeletal with muscle definition. Muscle weighs more than fat, so characters who are training to be Huntsmen really don’t have an excuse to actually be underweight unless you make them have no muscles as well.

Outfit is...interesting to say the least. I’m glad he got some more covering clothes to help him blend with Vale a bit more, since clothing is a large part of society’s norm in western civilisations.

3) Characteristics - 29 points

I like the tribe that you’ve created for this story. You’ve not gone over the top with their different beliefs, just kept it sensible and logical, and even the reason for him to go to Beacon is reasonable.

Can I ask why Kaimana became the team leader instead of say, Seti or Natsumi who both showed more initiative and leapt into action for the benefit of the battle more than Kaimana did? From what I saw, all Kaimana managed to do was almost get eaten by a Taijitu and finish off the heads after Natsumi and Seti blew open its stomach. And what does KNUS mean?

I think you missed saying that they participated in the Vytal Festival, but it was easy enough to gather from the ‘doubles round’ mention. What does BNNA mean, by the why?

I see your reference to the Dream Eater that you made quite a while ago. I remember the picture you shared of it in the mythology thread.

4) Trivia - 5 points

I like the team dynamics you have going on here.

5) Weapon - 10 points

It’s very basic, but it fits his tribal origins I suppose. My only problem is that his tattoo is blood red but he uses Air Dust...which has been shown as white/green. I am of the opinion that Dust would show up through the ink, either as glitter (so the tattoos would have a glittery effect) or by simply by making the ink that colour (or maybe lighter/darker if they mixed the Dust with white/black ink). And so far Sand Dust is not a thing, though I suppose a creative use of Earth Dust could substitute.

6) Semblance - 12 points

Sort of cliche take on the ‘mute character needs a way to speak’ thing, but at least it makes sense in universe.

7) Combat Info - 4 points

Herm. I’m not sure I agree with the drawback of dust tattoos. Cinder had no problems collecting fire from the dust sewn into her skin-tight sleeves, despite the fire being close enough to her skin to have burnt it. You could argue that it’s because the dust was not infused in her skin, but I’d argue that holding fireballs inches away from your skin is not a good idea and would cause more damage than using the dust imbued in a tattoo. I would have left just the dust capacity as the weakness, since dust tattoos aren’t thick. They really can’t hold much dust in them overall.

Total: 86 points

So, the final scores are in.

In first place, VedrantheII with 91 points

In second place, Ahpolki Inika with 86 points

In third place, Arkantos95 with 77 points.