Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-27082610-20170424154014/@comment-27404492-20170625214813

Well here's my contest entry, I want to get some constructive criticism so I can make a better stab at it for the next contest

1)Basic Info

Name: Michael Draighin.

CNR Explanation: Draighin is Irish for Blackthorn, a species of shrub/tree known for their green berries that turn blue/purple when ripe and it's strong wood.

Species: Faunus (Cat)

Age: 48

Gender: Male

Emblem: A green thorn bush.

Handedness: Right.

Nicknames: Draigh.

Occupation: Sheriff

2)Appearance:

Aura Colour: Dark Green

Height: 5'11

Weight: 150 lbs

Eyes: Pale blue

Skin Colour: Tan

Face Shape: Square

Hair: Short greying auburn-brown hair with a fringe.

Physical Traits: Cats tail.

Physique: Wiry

Outfit:

combat: Dark green oilskin jacket with a magnetic strip, blue shirt, jeans and black hobnail boots

Casual: dark green half zip jumper, white t shirt, jeans, brown deck shoes

Accessories: Grenade belt, knife sheath with his emblem on in.

Gadgets: Dust grenades (Fire, Ice and smoke), Kukri knife with a large rounded pommel.

3)Characteristics:

Background: Michael was born in to a poor dust mining family in Mantle. After the dust mines in Mantle were shut down Michael and his father Peter were forced to begin stealing food to feed their family. After an attempted burglary resulted in Peter getting shot in the shoulder, Michael's aura unlocked itself due to his panic and his semblance manifesting caused him to have a panic attack, leading to both of them being arrested. Before their trial they were given a choice, they could stand trial or they could move their family to menagerie (the Atlasian government used methods like this to encourage faunus to leave and to artificially keep crime rates low.)

Once Michael and his family has moved to Port Uliuil Pohaku (Hawaiian for green stone), a town in Northern Menagerie, both his father and his mother, Zara, joined a fishing crew to support their family. Michael moved to Kuo Kuana to find work, there he befriended Amala Samudr (Samudr is Indian for Sea), daughter of Damodar Samudr, a huntsman from Vacuo who moved to Menagerie when he realised that the kingdoms would be unwilling to send more huntsman to Menagerie to protect the increasing population.

Damodar trained Michael, Amala and half a dozen other students in an unofficial Academy that was eventually called kaitiaki Academy (kaitiaki is Maori for Guardian). Michael then became the leader of team MAPL (Maple) with Amala as his partner. While he was there Michael learned to cook from Diya, Damodar's sister and one of the other teachers at Kaitiaki. During their training Michael began a relationship with Amala and a few years after they completed their training they got engaged.

5 months after they moved to Port Uliuil Pohaku to settle down and start a family, The fishing boat Peter and Zara worked on was attacked by Grimm and Michael could only watch from the harbour while the ship was destroyed. Zara managed to survive by clinging to a piece of wreckage but Peter drowned. Michael and Amala later adopted Niamh Osprey, the Daughter of one of the fishermen who died in the Grimm attack.

Over the course of several years Almala gave birth to three children, James, Chloe and Kiaan. Michael was eventually appointed Sheriff of Port Uliuil Pohaku.

Personality: Michael is very easy going and cheerful with a strong sense of duty. Under normal circumstances he's typically a warm and kind person but during fights or crises he often becomes stern and at times ruthless. His sarcastic sense of humour turns into mockery meant to anger his opponent.

Michael also tends to put on an intimating facade when meeting people, either for intimation purposes or in order to set people up for jokes.

He is extremely protective of his family due to his helplessness to help his father before they were arrested and when his father drowned and this can lead to him becoming reckless at times due to his fear of losing anyone else.

Likes: Cooking, Fishing, Spicy foods

Dislikes: Cold weather (reminds him of Mantle),

4)Trivia

Notable Relationships:Peter Draighin- Michael was extremely close with his father and he respected his fathers willingness to do what was necessary for him family.

Amala Samudr- Michael deeply loves his wife and he often serves as a foil to her serious personality. However their relationship became strained after the death of Michael's father but they grew close again once they adopted Naimh.

Damodar Samudr- Michael shares a Father-son relationship with Damodar that grew stronger in the years after the death of Michael's father.

Skills: cooking, fishing, tracking.

Allusion: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KtzEaWc36lw|The Fields of Athenry

Notes:

Hunter Extension

Weapon.

Name: Kanikua (Lamentation in Hawaiian)

Classification: Modular pole-arm cannon

Weapon Derivation: Traditional polearms

Design: a six foot long pole arm with a spear head at either end and two brackets for the attachments. The attachments are stored on the users belt. The trigger is a third of the way down the haft and the top spear head splits in half to fire the shot. The dust is stored in the lower part of the haft in 6 inch ccylinders that can be changed during battle.

Holstered/Inactive form the spearheads are folded in, the haft folds into two selections and each half shortens down to 1 and a half feet. The weapon is then held on the magnetic strip on Michael's back. The attachments fold down and are held on Michael's belt.

Form 1: Battle axe mode- two axe heads are used

Form 2: Poleaxe mode- one axe head and a hammerhead are used

Form 3: war hammer mode- a hammer head and a spike

Form 4: Halberd mode- An axe head and a spike are used

Dust Capacity: one six inch cylinder of powdered dust, good for 24 shots

B)Semblance

Name: Iarrthóir Saol (life seeker in Irish)

Type: Psychic (enhances/adds/alters mental capabilities with aura)

Purpose: Utility

Short description: Michael can since the position and movements of people, animal and Grimm without seeing.

Activation Cue: Michael's eyes turn green and green mist begins to come of of him

Range: medium to long range

Active ability Tier 1: Michael can sense the movements of people, animals and Grimm within 10 meters

Active ability Tier 2: Michael can sense the movements of people, animals and Grimm within 30 meters

Active ability Tier 3: Michael can sense the movements of people, animals and Grimm within 50  meters

C)Combat Info

Preferred Range: close range

Landing Strategy: using wind dust shots to decrease momentum and hooking into the nearest tree with his weapon

Fighting Style: close range, quick, focusing on countering and exploiting weaknesses, using the haft of his weapon to block, with dust shots grenades being used to immobiliser enemies or distract them. Michael uses his kurkri knife for close quarters fighting and the rounded heavy pommel is used to knock out as a nonleathal option.

I) Day to Day Life

Expanded Occupation: Michael' duties as sheriff means that he oversees the protection of the the town as well as patrolling and law enforcement.