Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25396609-20171207232020/@comment-31558062-20180402111118

VedranTheII wrote: Bluewindbag wrote: Name: Azure Rakhatsu

3) Characteristics:

Background:

Azure was born in a small family in a small village in Vale. When he was 3, his father Hiryu was a carpenter and a hunstman. He taught Azure all of his carpentry skills. After that, he went on a mission and his mother Rosea is a housewife and a huntress. She taught Azure how to cook. He lived without worry until he was about 18 years old, but at that point life began to change. He had a dream of becoming the greatest huntsman in the world.

He bids farewell to his monther and began his wayward journey. He wandered around mountain glenn, he didn't realize where he was going until he met Jin Alpha, a master swordsman and a retired huntsman who only has one arm. He and Jin get along very well and since Azure is lost in mountain glenn, He asks Jin to train him. Jin agreed. After 1 year of training, Azure's swordsmanship is much more powerful, bringing him closer to becoming a master swordsman. After that, Azure was ready to go to the next kingdom, Mistral with Jin as his escort... I think I see a couple problems with this section.

Problem 1: Randomly deciding to be a hunter at 18 is fine, deciding to wander around mountain Glenn on his own is suicidal...4 huntsman in training were showing noticeable signs of fatigue from having to defend themselves for like...a day there? An 18 year old with a dream wouldn't even make it near the base of the city.

Solution 1: Move Jin inside his home town and have Azure pester him for training before he leaves the city...seriously why even put Jin near Glenn, that just raises plot holes.

Problem 2: Master swordsman in a year despite no previous combat training? Maybe in his head, but realistically even V2 Jeanne should beat him through attrition

Solution 2: He got skilled enough Jin felt confident to let Azure travel as long as he stuck close to him, thinking he'd get stronger fast via meeting other people/grim. I'll try to fix that.