Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25396609-20160425022934/@comment-24993958-20160428200748

Ok so let me preface this by saying the biggest problem of the character is a lack of focus from you. What happened here is you made changes or gave him features to make him “cooler” that harm the character in the long run and makes him feel a tad half assed and impossible to exist. To illustrate this, let’s look at his characteristics.

Kirito Rose wrote:

3)Characteristics

-Personality: Enthusiastic, sassy, sarcastic at times, irritable

-Likes: Hunting, beer, music(mostly rock)

-Dislikes: Tamatos, Grimm

Ignoring the grammar for a second…and that when you come right down to it the backround fails from a monetary and time sense…you made an oc that’s enthusiastic in being a run of the mill hunter and became a remnant hunter to help his mom from the videogame cough of death disease.

That and his personality paint hims like a nice, well balanced mentally, well meaning and people loving guy right?...well then let’s compare that to his basic info:

Kirito Rose wrote:  Core Info

1)Basic info

-Team: NVMR(Nevermore)

-Symbol: Knife stabbing the moon(Knife has a pentagram where the blade meets the handle)

 -Misc traits: Pentagram necklace

-Nicknames: Azazel

Well from the basic info he looks like an emo stereotypical punk kid IRL that tries really hard to make his parents mad…doesn’t look like it belong to the same oc right?...in fact it doesn’t look like it belongs in the same universe.

Nevermore are specifically something Remnant tries to kill; they would not name a TEAM after them. The symbol doesn’t match him and the nickname doesn’t even exist in Remnant cause Azrael is a thing HERE, not THERE.

So with that and a semblance that’s also unfocussed, you end up with a bdaly made character, that’s badly made cause you tried to make his design “cool”.