User blog comment:Zathronas/Speculative author, Volume 3: Cinder Fall/@comment-186.45.68.166-20141203095832

Overall this sound pretty good.I like the motivation you give cinder and the Theory about the crystals is pretty cool (reminds me for Final Fantasy)

However I am concerned over a couple of things though.

That the risk of sound like a broken record the treatment of Mercury and Emerald is one.I think having WBY win and the end is a mistake.I mean these characters are suppose to be actual threats but who can you expect people to take them seriously if every time they the go up against someone important they lose in some cop-out way.

It just doesn't seem like a good way to treat your villains.It would be much more impactful if you have them a other teacher (like Goodwicth)save WBY.

Which  bring me to Opzin's semblance. Time manipulation. Wow.Its a cool ability but it's OP (eveN of this show).Not to mmention its a really good way to create plot holes the size of tanks if you not careful with it.