Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-70.164.251.83-20180411173532/@comment-26018514-20180412062022

Alhazad2003 wrote: For one, I'd push the actual battle back to Volume 6...

I'd use Volume 5 for training and worldbuilding of Mistral...

And it could end with the Belladonnas defeating the White Fang in Menagerie, and preparing to advance on Haven in Volume 6....

Agreed on all counts, except I would also focus on the Belladonna fight choreography, just a simple perusal of the house's room layout then looking at the individual fights in the rooms tells you how bad it is, and the Kali fight was just a mess in general(O hey, that woman we were assassinating is out in the open, lets pin down that guard we injured earlier rather than taking the easy target... O wait a tray... not like we know what kneecaps are... we're only a mafia style terror group...).

I also would have not escalated the Belladonna timeline for such dumb drama... we pretty much knew they would arrive for the battle, don't write in such a tight deadline that it becomes unbelievable they could call the cops in time, let alone get a boat or train, they should have waited until they got the faunus loaded on the boat for the captain to say something like; "you say we have 5 days... I've sailed this route for years, on our best days it might take 6... but we'll try..". Then Next Season when the fight happens they can explain hopping a ride on the airships to save the time they needed while still making it seem like they might not.