Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25396609-20171207232020/@comment-27447621-20180112012046

Saidjaleel.guimba wrote:

Sure, I'd be willing to hear the ideas you've thrown around.

As for story element, like a character arc: At one point, I wanted Savetis to encounter Adam.I was thinking that when Adam learns he has Faunus parentage, he tries to get Satevis on his side to prove a point that someone has to either choice Human or Faunus and they can't reconcile them. And Savetis at one point actually starts to feel that maybe Adam does have a point as Adam points out the lack of progress in human/Faunus relations and it was a system made by humans which had made Satevis suffer. How does that sound? I'm going to have to shoot that one down, my friend. Two reasons. One, anything more than skin-deep relationships  (things like "was in the same class with" or something)  with Canon characters is discouraged here, though a mere conversation may be small enough to pass. And two,  and more importantly,  even if the White Fang allowed a human to have an audience with Adam, I don't think Adam is quite the type to hold conversation with a human long enough to ask about his parentage in the first place. He'd probably just get increasingly hostile.

Although that's not to say your storyline is impossible. It may just need some tweaking. For example.

By the time the main story starts, everyone knows that the White Fang has become increasingly violent. So if you want this to play out in a similar way, here's a rough idea. Satevis asks a person more knowledgable about the White Fang (maybe a Faunus friend who's been to a meeting or two or his mom after being approached by a recruiter or something) why the group had become more violent. He would then learn of the White Fang's "Fear = Progress" policy, which might then cause the crisis of conscience you want the arc to lead to. How does that sound?

I'll also keep thinking and see if I can't come up with anything else for you.

Also, side note- what kingdom is STRR in? I don't see a mention to one in your story.