Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25396609-20171207232020/@comment-27648673-20171209195720

HookshotHotshot wrote: I'm a bit wordy in this one, so I divided up your post and grouped my responses accordingly.

XXMintshadeXx wrote:

1 - So... "Jaune" and "Juniper"? I'd also like to add that the color of her Aura and Emblem are both Gold, and the color of the team is "Aztec Gold", and dAwN iS a ReSuLt Of ThE sUn WhIcH iS kInDa GoLd. See Phantom's Post

And I would personally relate Dawn with pinks, but I guess a gold connection could work there.

2 - Refer to my comment above. All right. I'm less curious about the mask as a whole and more curious about the why.

3 - She is outdone by her peers, so she works to become better than them, but then she is outdone again, etc etc. I'd say word it a bit differently. The way you phrase it, it seems like no matter how hard she works she's always outdone by literally everyone else in her grade in whatever school she's in, the lowest in her class while having stellar combat skills.

4 - There doesn't have to be one or the other. Wants power =/= bad guy - she won't go to extreme lengths to get that power, she'll just change her own attitude and the way she presents herself to make her seem more appealing... Fair enough. It wasn't a dealbreaker, it was just something I thought I'd ask about. But another thing I thought I'd ask; she's a freelance, multi-kingdom Huntress, right? In what aspect does she desire power? She's basically a free agent, while you see more power-hungry aspects in people within a system with a ladder to climb up- workers, soldiers, etc. What "Hierarchy" is she moving up? What position of power is she longing for?

5 - Sorry, but I really don't want to, at least not on this character. They seem pretty trivial to me, and most of it will just be me making up random stuff to fill in space, which I'll then have to explain in detail as it will otherwise seem out of the blue. Is there always a paragraph long explanation for everything you like? I like reading because I like to explore fictional worlds. Simple, easy explanation that now gives you a bit of an insight about me. And sometimes you can see the justification for a like/dislike in a character's Personality or Background. Based on her personality, I would guess she likes reading and theatre (you say she likes fiction and has a flair for the dramatic) as well as training and respect, among others, and dislikes under-appreciation and being alone. Those can be pulled from her Personality, so there's no need for a big explanation because you've already done that, while making your character more relatable.

6 - Frankly put: I don't know how a gun works... I intentionally made it relatively simple because if I went all out on details, I'd probably get wrong more than right... If you have any suggestions I'm open to them... At least in my experience, a bit of research never hurts, if you're willing. Not always necessary, but it can sometimes help inform further decisions. As for the weapon, I have a few thoughts. First is changing the weapon but keeping the handgun => spear transformation, going from a revolver to a javelin-style spear. Each chamber of the revolver as well as the muzzle would add to the shaft, while the handle becomes the spearhead. Another thought is that you can do what you have is turn the boar spear into a single-shot pistol with a high caliber, which solves your ammo problem (because the barrel would break like a shotguns to load in more ammunition as opposed to a magazine), while replacing the chain with a fine rope, fishing line, etc. may solve the space issue. 1 - Yeah, I get that. My explanation is a bit of a stretch. I don't think it's such a big deal that I need to change it though, to be completely honest.

3 - Another "yeah", it'd a bit hard to phrase. Hopefully you get the idea. I'll see if I can phrase it better when I edit it.

4 - She was trying to move upward in Vacuo's government, but she didn't have much time before the Fall of Beacon and her subsequent return to Mistral. She'll probably try to integrate herself into Mistrali Government instead, or simply try to gain a respectable reputation. Should I include that?

5 - That's fair. I'll include those and a few others when I have time.

6 - I like the second suggestion.