Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25266931-20161117062740/@comment-25936766-20161119150428

KNN005 wrote: Torchwick is at it again, talking shit in the afterlife. He's viewing events around Remnant after his death while sipping liquor.

Torch: I was king of Vale, y'know. Little Red got lucky. She was down and I was up and that's why the Griffon got me.

Lucifer: You're preaching to the choir man. You were killing it out there. But goodie-goodies always get that "get out of death free" card.

Torch: I know right?! I mean they survived the train crash! Grimm try to kill them all day long. I shoot at them and those White Fangs poured Grimm in the freakin' streets. STILL NO ONE DIES but one wonder woman.

Lucifer: That dragon was a badass and even HE didn't kill them. I saw that thing get frozen and I was like, "dick move God, just had to pull that one outta your ass".

Torch: (lol) Yeah. That.... I don't know WHAT that was. But I know one thing, didn't see it coming. And neither did Cinder.

Lucifer: Speaking of... Just between you and me, you hit that, right?

Torch: Hell no.

Lucifer: Really. Wow. Why not?

Torch: She was 10 pounds of crazy in a 5 pound bag! I got super kids gunning me down in a mech, the last thing I need is a evil ex who's got magic shit and god knows what else. Would you?

Lucifer: Well yeah, but I'm a god, so.... Not really worried about magic. Her getting mad at me would be a non-issue.

Torch: Must be nice. Hey wanna prank call god again?

Lucifer: Naw. If we do it too much he's gonna come down here and it'll be a whole big deal... I just feeling mellow today. Not up for it.

Torch: Fine fine....

They sit and watch RJNR fighting the Giest of Season 3 ep 1.

Torch: Can't believe I lost to these twerps.

Lucifer: Well you'll likely be a big shot demon down here, so, chin up.

Torch: Meh. I just wanted money and power. And maybe toss the occassional old lady down some stairs but what I got was...

They see Salem talking with her evil allies.

Torch: .......Wow. That's her master?!

Lucifer: Oh yeah. You kinda scar-roused right now, huh? She's like an evil hot cougar. As far as the living go, that's the kinda evil Luci' likes. No holds barred evil.

Torch: No way.... If I had a time machine I'd go back in time a slap the cigar out of the mouth of my past self! Why the hell did I work with this clowns!?

Lucifer: Well it was kinda a "get down or lay down" type a deal, right?

Torch: Yeah. Still died anyway. Whatever, had a good run.

Lucifer: I know what will make you feel better.

The image they're viewing switches to Jaune trying not to cry while looking at Nikos' recording.

Torch: Oh shit! (laughs) Look at his face. He totally misses her!

Lucifer: Wimp never even got laid, yet he's acting like she was his whole world.

Torch: "Oh look at me, I'm Jaune, I'm gonna swing my sword and maybe, just maybe Pyrrha will come back. Boo hoo hoo."

They laugh evily. ........Sooooo......when am I supposed to laugh?

Really, try something that isn't "Torchwick and Deemuns". Especially something that doesn't involve the Father of Lies. (The way it conflicts with my SMT-fueled vision of him doesn't help).