Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25936766-20170228175626/@comment-3965075-20170320001306

SomeoneYouUsedToKnow wrote: Next, is Ahpolki Inika and Sassy Thorn Nou

Having to retype this comment because it didn't seem to register for some reason.

Basic Info

'-I read on the notes that she was a bit rushed…and looking at the emblem and Team Acronym, you were not kidding. The Emblem is literally a bunch of bananas (though of the Musa Acuminata instead of the one associated with Nang Tani: Musa Balbisiana). And the T.A. is literally “Banana”. Much thought went into those bits, definitely.'

Couldn't find any images of the Balbsiana's flowers at the time, so I went with the Acuminata instead.

'-Weird nicknames…Witch-Girl, and…………Boom-a-Wreck…….???? What kind of thing would make a nickname like the latter?'

Meri gave her the latter nickname as a reference to her twin boomerangs. The rest of her Team don't share the same sense of humor as her.

Appearance

'-“Height and Weight: Jet black, about halfway down her back”…Inika, I think you need to buy a dictionary. Or glasses'.

I already have glasses. it's the former and some brain-juice that I need.

'-….She wears saddles? …This is the part where I think a link was super-necessary, because the only saddles I know of and can find are for horses and bikes.'

I meant to say "sandles" but autocorrect doesn't seem to recognize the word.

Backstory

-Was there any point to, or any need, to mentioning she’s their biological daughter?

Considering that I later talked more about her relationship with her father, probably not.

'-…Okay, here’s a question: If the father didn’t want anything to do with children, why the hell did he still have one? You say he “avoided them as much as possible”, but it’s somewhat ambiguous from the wording on whether you mean he avoided kids or avoided Sasithorn and her mother. I assume the latter, but still.'

A lot of people that get into affairs typically don't anticipate the possibility of bearing children. Her father is one of those folk.

'-……..Wait. Are you telling me, that while suffering internal injuries, her mother and Sasithorn managed to escape an assaulted village, and move all the way to Mistral, enduring long enough for her mother to get treatment…again, while suffering internal injuries, somehow avoiding any Grimm on their way. Without even at least some mention of the mother being a fighter of some sort, or them getting any sort of help on the way.'

I imagined the village being close to the Kingdom's walls, maybe about half a day's walk. Looking back now, I finding that less and less realistic.

My capability of disbelief is already being tested at barely half the story….

As is mine.

-Just what the hell does KNUS mean?

KNUS is derived from "Canus", Latin for "Hoary, white, silver, ect".

'-“Knowing that she no extended family or father, she considered leaving the Kingdom and Haven.”………….WHY??? Where the hell is the logic in that?'

Emotion can overcome logic in many situations, but so can rushed bad writing. 3:

Personality= 9/10pts

-The personality in itself is fine, but…no, “being vegetarian” does not work in “Misc. Traits”, that’s for quirks and ticks and similar things. Being vegetarian goes more in the personality section, or at least mentioned in her likes or dislikes. For example: “Dislikes: Meat (she’s vegetarian)”.

Ah, gotcha.

Relationships= 5/5pts

-The relationships are fine, but……….the names are a bit of a problem. Her mother and father have no names despite their importance, especially the mother. And there’s no explanation for what the names of each teammate of hers mean. With Alyssa, alright “jade=green(ish)”. But Brandon? Meri?

Piscean's already talked the names, so I'm not gonna repeat what he said. As for the mother and father, it was because I was focusing on other aspects of the entry.

Trivia

'-You mention her mother makes “potions”…always with “ as if they actually weren’t. What do you mean, remedies? I can’t think of anything else, and honestly if you did mean remedies of any sort it would’ve been more than sufficient to just say so instead of “potions” as if trying to make her sound special.'

It more due to me not being able to find any other word to describe them at the time. Looking at your comment, I'm starting think that "remedies" would've been a better description. Of course, the villagers might not agree about that.

Weapon

'-You mention it was made in a rush, and I see what you mean. The idea of a boomerang weapon is creative, but the weapon name is kind of cringey to me, and after reading it all, I have next to no idea of how it actually looks or is shaped as.'

I'll admit I never really looked at real boomerang images during the rush, so that's one reason. I called them the "Jasmine Wraiths" as an allusion to her inspiration's ghostly (and vengeful) nature.

'It has a slot in the turbine big enough for a Dust-filled cylinder, and a slot in each tip big enough for one to insert Crystallized Dust. So I can only assume it’s not a small boomerang, and little else besides that.'

It's certainly not the average-size boomerang. Since they have sword modes, the're basically the size of said weapons.

'At the same time I have 0 idea of how it’s really supposed to look in the “Sword mode”. I can assume something based on the Stormerang, but being based on something doesn’t mean it’s supposed to look identical. Additionally, since you use plurals, is it 2 boomerangs? 3? More than that?'

The two boomerangs   (yes, two, I forgot to add that)  basically folds all the way out to form the sword. One half is shorter and possesses the hilt. The other half is longer, and acts as the blade of the sword-mode. The sword still possesses the decals of the boomerang mode.

'And I have absolutely no idea how the heck the function of “follows signals on chips to return to the user” actually works. How does it even?'

It was basically a failed attempted at me explaining/justifying how they always returned to her. Basically she has GPS chips or something of the like in her beads, and the weapons are programmed to pick them up. Once they hit/miss something, they follow the signal back to her.

Semblance

'A Semblance that reduces damage, but does literally nothing else, and can be broken by an attack with enough force, is like painting a yellow wall yellow in this case. If it wasn’t for Dust Interaction, it would be even more redundant. And it’s basically useless because it uses up Aura to do literally what Aura does, so there’s no point.'

The original plan was to have a Semblance that developed the bark of the Musa balbisiana, but a look at the SSMASLE revealed that someone already came up with a bark-armor Semblance. Thought about asking for permission to use it from the original poster, but I was worried that I wouldn't the permission in time to post m entry. So I resorted to that one instead.

Combat Info

-….Why would she prefer to fight close-range, especially given her weapon is a boomerang?

Boomerang and sword. I've always imagined her as being the more aggressive of the Team, so I figured that the sword mode would fit that better than the boomerang mode.

'-…How does she use the turbines on her boomerangs to slow her fall? I personally thought she would put her feet on them to use as air-skates of sorts, but you never said she did anything like that. And I can’t see any other way for her to use her boomerangs’s turbines to slow down her fall.'

I was gonna go with the air-skates idea, but I was afraid that I'd basically rip off the Stormarang if I did that. So instead I tried imagining her holding them out like wings and using regulated bursts from the turbines to control her descent.

'-How the heck, or rather why the heck, does her boomerangs leave a trail of elemental energy after being thrown? I would understand if, after using Dust, they would form a small tornado or blizzard when thrown. But I don’t see any way nor any reason they should leave a trail of elemental energy after being thrown. You say they do so with certain elements, but which ones?'

When creating OCs, versatility was basically the main philosophy in regard to their combat capabilities. I thought that adding Elemental affects work for her. While can certainly create tornado and blizzards with the Jasmine Wraiths, I toyed around with the idea of certain Elements leaving walls or trails of their power (like say these spells ). Looking back now, though, Ill admit they make little sense for her.