Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-24993958-20150801001005/@comment-24993958-20150808142523

Next up is Maki Kuronami with Tawny Bubbles.

1) Basic info:  16/20. Neither brown nor bubble are featured anywhere in his design, freckles can be light brown but you failed to make a note of it, so that will cost you 2 points. The symbol bugs me in a sense, I could generally link it to the characters but yours is neither an archer nor a spearman nor a straightman nor a traffic director that will also cost you 2.

2) Appearence:  17/20. Would have liked him to be shorter but he’s short enough thankfully. To short of a description on the hair will cost you one point. Cape kind of strikes me as more casual than combat and the cloth has no mentioned color, Minus one for each. Nice touch with the mouse ears on the hoody though.

3) Characteristics: 23/30. He’s itchy…interesting observation but has little to no in universe context…won’t deduct points for that though…but it bugs me. I can deduct points for a mismatched personality though. He somehow has a way with words while being not one to talk, and headstrong but somehow going with the flow…what? So he doesn’t care what happens but what does happen he cares a lot unless something else happens? Or does he like really care that he doesn’t care?...Yeah this section needs cleanup badly, minus 5. That and an awfull lot of conveniences in order to make the character attend beacon will also cost you 2.

4) Weapon: 8/10. A cleaver that turns into scisors…why didn’t I think of that. The fact that he somehow uses dust despite being of poor origin though, that would be hard to believe even IF you don’t share my sentiments on dust being expensive, so minus 2 for that.

5) Semblance: 4/10. WOR Grimm indicates it won’t work on grimm at all, as far as we know they may not even have digestive tracks. I should also point out it doesn’t seem to work with your character given he’s been described as someone that runs from trouble, not actively freezes when met with one. Also it draining aura while the cloud is already in the air and potentially away from him is a concept I can’t wrap my hed around. 2 points for each complaint.

6) Combat info: 4/5 Also after googling in order to find out how people can die from shitting themselves I came to the conclusion it isn’t nearly likely enough for him to leave it as a last resort. One point for that.

7) Trivia: 5/5

All of that gives Maki Kuronami with Tawny Bubbles 77 pts. Fairly well done but I’d rather not see him on the show unless I can get that semblance replaced if it’s all the same with you.