Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-23790511-20141202062530


 * deep breath* this will be a long post. I've never gotten this... open with you all since the "Boom" blog I made a while ago, but this is far more personal to me.

So I've been thinking a lot about how many things I don't want to regret missing out on in High School before I get sent into the frying pan aka college. For instance: When should I KNOW that a girl wants to be with me? As in "together-together?" I'm spit between thinking she either really, REALLY friendly with me, or she's legit flirting with me. I've found myself unable to talk about this with friends IRL because I DON'T know how to exactly talk about about this with other people.

I've never been on a date, never asked anyone out, never kissed a girl, and I'm a senior in high school. This isn't rare, and while some would be ashamed or even embarrassed, I've come to acce T that everybody dates at their own pace and this is t something you can just force. However, I don't want to blow off the wonderfulchance to possibly experience dating for the first time, even if I know that chances will be that we'll never see each other again after graduation. OK actually, how about I just tell you what she's like and what the so-called "red flags" have been, que?

She and I have serious passion for creative writing, graphic design, sketching, and conceptual art. Like me, she loves to be creative and this shows in her numerous pieces of work depicting dragon-esque/mammalian creatures that look like they'd find a perfect home at Dreamworks. I focus more on character sketches, as well as designing intricate, yet fashionable apparel that reflects these characters. She's the first girl I've ever met that has shown extended interest in my work, and when I occasionally go on tangents about why I designed a character a certain way and how he or she fits into this story I'm making (I'll talk about that later maybe), she doesn't look overwhelmed or weirded out. She seems rather interested and almost enthralled by these stories that I made due to sheer passion and love for creativity (keyword: she SEEMS interested). We talk about art a lot, and we still do. We have similar tastes, but we have a healthy number of distinct preferences.

Speaking of preferences she likes anime, plays video games, as well as wathces old and new cartoons. Neither of us outgrew those forms of media like most simpletons that plague high school do. She also adores the old Hayao Miyazaki movies with her favorite being "Howls Moving Castle" while mine is "Nausicaa of the Valley of the Wind." outside that, I'm not sure if we like a lot of the same shows yet, but we both definitly love pop culture and seem to recognize most cartoons and anime etc. at first glance.

She's very much like any of you guys. Loves video games, TV, anime, art, fan art, drawing art, being creative, getting inspired and exhilarated when something cool happens. All of these wonderful traits in somebody who's also quite mature and intelligent. Of it makes it any easier for me to talk to her, it's that we're both atheists. We don't get offended by anything the other says, we seem to be able to talk about anything. She seems to enjoy talking to a smartass joker like me, wouldn't y'know?

Here's where things sorta teeter though on whether or not I should take that leap of faith and ask her out. First off, she had two ex's. One of which is not on good terms with her. The other one she seems to still be friendly with, but I've met neither of them. Also, these past two weeks I've noticed her seemingly act more... intimate? I guess.You see, I have a friend in that class who, like me, is a smartass joker. We were kidding with each other and he eventually told me to shove a MagmaDrake didlo up my ass. Look that up if you want to be horrified. Anyways, she overheard that, and even looked it up. We ended up getting into this calm conversation about how different sex toys are made for different people with their own fantasies, I wouldn't say that the discussion was explicit. But it certainly left me wondering.

This other time however, when our teacher showed us "My Neighbor, Totoro" there was this one scene when the little sister follows a bread crumb trail. I made a dumb family guy "ooh! Piece of candy!" joke and she punched my arm. She then laughed shamelessly, annoyed, and almost approvingly if that makes ANY sense, and I just laughed shamelessly. I suppose she's comfortable enough around me to casually punch me?

And finally, and this was just yesterday, was the moment where I seriously began considering the possibly of her wanting to be "together-together" with me. I was jokingly talking to her and my same friend I mentioned earlier about how I likd company when they were as far away from me as possible. After that comment, she got RIGHT UP AGAINST MY BODY! It was fast, but for a split second I swear I could feel a sense of intimacy in her. Pheromones?! I don't know but all I could do was laugh playfully, and she was just smiling and almost blushing about what she did. I wasn't uncomfortable or anything, but I never felt that sort of bond before. I'm not stupid enough to call it "true love" but it was definitly an experience.

Now all I'm wondering is that if you actually read all this crap and can relate in anyway, please tell me if you think this seems exaggerated, or a legit sign of a girl showing signs of affection. Joking aside, what do you think? Please, just please tell me. 