Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25936766-20160701133235/@comment-25936766-20160714131343

Alright, let's begin. Don't worry, I'm not a hard judge, quite the contrary. First is Maki Kuronami's Sparrow Windless.

-Basic Info: 15/15: Looking good so far.

-Appearance: 15/15 Looking good so far, a bit small and fat but pretty sure that's just me (every guy at my old school was well past 170cm, including me). Though those casual clothes....they sound like what the average serial killer would use.

-Backstory: 17/20 Not bad, though it feels like the typical "Revenge" story. It sounds like you got a story planned out beyond what you wrote of Sparrow, which is good, though judging solely Sparrow's backstory, the renegade hunter sounds like Diabolus Ex Machina a bit, but I'll allow it since WoF is related to luck.

-Personality: 7/10 Mmm....little Sparrow sounds a bit generic in some ways, while "Crimson" and his gallows humor seem generic in another way. The gallows humor does seem like a sort of way to "deal" with his problems though, although given that you say "savage", and given what's happened to his sister, who he loves so much, I'm thinking he's going insane.

-Likes/Dislikes: 0/0 Nothing too outstanding, though some things are a bit weird. Like, why does he like crescent moons? But it's the kind of thing that don't matter much.

-Notable Relationships: 4/5 There's something that's confusing me a bit. Is Lumiere one of the younger or elder siblings? In the backstory you said she together with sparrow took care of their younger siblings, so I assumed she was one of the elders, but then here you say he had a neutral relationship with them, thus he wouldn't be so close to Lumiere. In some hindsight, I think Lumiere was one of the younger ones, though if so why say she helped took care of the younger siblings, in plural. I'll assume it's just a spelling mistake.

-Weapon: 10/10 Simple but Good. Though I wouldn't point out how his sword's sharp enough to slice most of the non-sturdier Grimm apart. Most Grimm in the show so far have been sliced easily by most blades. The idea of using both a Sniper Dust Rod and a Sword reminds me of my Dark Souls character too.

-Semblance: 8/10 You kinda missed some elements, like Wind, Steam, Water, Lightning....I also don't feel it's quite as reflective of his personality, though the idea of him making an Aural Lumierre does fit his personality, both before and after.

-Combat Info: 10/10 Good and fitting of his weapons. Though the line "all for the sake of revenge" made me cringe so much.

Overall Points: 86.