Board Thread:General Discussion/@comment-6863431-20150103062825/@comment-11188061-20150113151917

Suffice to say, Aura is more OP in canon than what you portrayed here. But most of the characters are impressively in-character, and I could see the scene unfolding in canon.

Ren was... debatable. Jaune was... off because you didn't present a reason why he would suddenly provoke with offensive words very seriously. Maybe if this is Jaune-who-has-not-recovered-from-Cardin's-bully then yes, I can see it. Otherwise, no.

Pyrrha would have screamed, 'Jaune!!!' or 'No!!!'

And again, I've said it before, Aura should be more OP. If the guy can still groan he should never have been in danger. It's not like Yang punctured his stomach all the way to the back, and we've speculated before that his Semblance very likely is one of defense. Considering the WoR 'Aura', his Semblance or something theoretically would've triggered at the moment of impact and deflected Yang's blow.

So, yeah, it's the theorist in me talking. But the writing itself is very impressive. Why don't you post it in FF.Net? I'm sure people would like it.