Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-32557376-20170714200302/@comment-25396609-20170721023618

Okay, I feel this needs to be said and there’s no way of doing it without sounding like an asshole. So here goes.

Your story idea is bad. This is not the fault of you as a writer. It is because the concept, which has existed for YEARS (and my god if you don't believe me look at naruto fanfic), cannot be done well.

There's this thing called a "fix fic", the basis of which is essentially you rewrite the story to remove or change every detail you prsonally (or the fandom as a whole) is unhappy with. It has existed since fanfiction has existed, it involves a reality-hopping character at least 1/4 of the time if not more.

You add a new kingdom (pretty common in RWBY fanfic already), and not only does it have a really stupid title (none of the other kingdoms have been called "Kingdom of X", after all) and the name... doesn't make sense. It's a made up word that doesn't fit the themes set by the other four.

Plus, Venom academy? seriously? Sounds like a school for super villains.

Please do not take this as any sort of personal attack. I am trying to help you; obviously you’ve got a LOT of ideas, probably good ones, and you’re quite skilled when it comes to basic writing and grammar skills (which I myself struggle with at times.)

You are simply falling into a pit of cliche storytelling ideas that many people fall into (and god, I hate to admit, but I was one of them).

Try harder. Be better.