Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25396609-20150530162910/@comment-25555436-20150606141934

The first one is Spirited Dreaming's OC: Rufus Tenné

1)Basic info:

-Everything seems fine, though his last name, I checked everywhere I could and never got anything that said it meant tawny. Though I checked Rufus, and it did say it meant red, red haired, and other things like believing in justice and discipline. As that's the last name, it's not as crucial that it follows the CNR as the first name, so I can let this slide. (19 pts).

2)Appearance:

-Wait a minute....

-Sounds like you seriously were aiming for the typical asian martial artist look for his combat outfit. Let's see if I got it: He has elbow and knee guards, cloth covering said guards, and a white pant rolled up to around the knee like a short, plus an open leather vest...with a leather belt?

And wait, does he go around half-naked everywhere? I feel like you were aiming for Final Fantasy's levels of clothing complexity minus the zips and belts, but the result sounds....not really good, to be honest. Hell, I should call the fashion police. In everything else, is fine enough. (18pts).

3)Characteristics:

-So he's an attention whore that wants to be a hero to the inferior mooks around him? I don't see characters of this kind often among RWBY OCs, not counting the Marty Stus loved by everyone despite being a jerk to them. I don't get what you mean by "subconsciously believing he's unkillable but not consciously". Do you mean he often goes all reckless and Leeroy Jenkins in battle despite the odds? Or that he always expects to survive in a extremely optimistic way to the point of stupidity? (13 pts)

-A very spoiled brat, I see. Makes sense, most parents that get the (natural) child they ever wanted but couldn't get tend to shower it with gifts and affection and the result tends to be an arrogant jerk nobody likes. Though I find it strange the community did too. You're basically saying a good number of adults there put him as a role model for their children...just cause. And apparently, the children all liked him.

Realistically speaking, his attitude thanks to being spoiled and everyone praising him would at the least have made 2 kids become jealous of him and hate him. You didn't mention that, so I'll assume they didn't. Though the idea of how he would react to being hated, would be interesting to see. (20 pts)

4)Combat Info.

-Mahana Taba....from what I've got, Mahana means day in some language I don't know, and Taba....is how we spanish-speaking people call a small bone in our feet. Didn't really get any other meaning for "Taba". Quite the weird name, not too thrilled by it. Though it sounds like he likes to kick.

....Oh wait, it's a pair of bladed gauntlets that he made himself so he could live his dream of being Wolverine down to the same level of popularity.

Let's see...he's supposed to play the kung fu tank monk of sorts, using nothing but his claws to shred enemies if not impale them on his stomach to throw them, like a more boring King (Tekken). Given his weight and build, I can see him being perfectly capable of that. He starts every fight going Leeroy Jenkins and forgetting bout his team, drawing aggro or whatever from everyone around, possibly even allies, and I assume he's tough enough to tank it all.

Simple, but effective though given that I would love for his teammates to leave him alone and get themselves someone more useful. The noobs in parties always get kicked out if they don't get better (I'll assume he gets character development at some point). Wish I could say the same for his claws, but they just seem so...dull. They're nothing but retractable claws, to be honest.

You mention that he later upgrades his claws so they can use Dust...makes sense, I've seen countless times things like "Burning Claw" or "Cold Claw" or whatever. But I have a hard time Imagining how he could perform ranged attacks with them that way. I mean, by using his claws, he could only shred and slash, don't really see how he could perform anything ranged that way. At best, make a slash with the claws sending a bunch of small crescents in one direction, which...doesn't really sound cool. (Weapon: 3 pts) (Fighting Style: 4).

-Now, the Semblance. "Taunt"......what happened to your creativity? I mean, it's not bad, it fits it's effect to a point, but really? "Taunt"?

It says he attracts a certain kind of attention from everyone in the area of effect. Can be angry, joyful, or whatever. He has no control over the kind of attention he gets. Given how much of a load he sounds team-wise, I could see his teammates all getting angry at him whenever he uses that.

Given his fighting style and way of starting battles, it sounds a bit unnecesary among small groups, as they will focus on him inmediately (especially the Grimm). And if he tries to use it when he and any other melee ally is close to the enemy, then he could get his ally killed. If he uses it against large groups, he could get himself killed too. How is he still alive, I have no idea.

For tanking purposes, it sounds good, but not good enough given the drawbacks. However, it also seems like in a good number of situations, it's just impractical, and can get his team killed. Which would work for character development, but you apparently let that chance slide... (Semblance: 4 pts)

-Landing strategy seems good enough, makes sense, basically all cats do that. Though there's that thing about activating Aura that bothers me. You see, the Active use of Aura, is Semblance. Semblance is what happens when activating one's Aura. The shielding effect is passive. You could have said that he focused his Aura to try to protect himself, though even if he did he'd probably just end up like Ruby in Ep10 of Vol.2. Alas, you didn't say that, and I have to take what you say for granted, and only what you said. (LS: 3 pts).

5) Trivia.

-Oh, so he does annoy the people around him! Thank god, I thought he was loved by everyone. (+2 pts).

-And he is hated by the team leader! Thank you, I thought for a moment his leader was an idiot. (+3 pts).

-People disliking him for his attitude yet grateful for his deeds....mmm, makes sense, but was expected. (+1 pts).

-I've heard different stories about Narcissus. In one, he died of hunger. In another one, he drowned trying to kiss his reflection. In another one, after his dead he became a frigging flower. I wonder if that will ever happen to Rufus? (but not the flower part, that would just be weird).

Total score: 19+18+13+20+3+4+4+3=84+1+2+3=90 pts.

Good, but the combat part needed some more effort.