Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-25396609-20150517010523/@comment-10380701-20150524124541

Time for the first phase of judging, nerds.

I've done a quick skim through everyone's OCs and adjusted the scoring based on that.

So scoring goes like:

Name: 5%

Weapon/Abilities: 20%

Backstory/Personality: 25%

Faunus-ness^U: 30%

Appearance: 20%

U: Special factor for this specific contest.

1. Shaddo Rayne (Madninja324)

Name: 5%


 * Shaddo = Shadow. Sure. That works. +2%


 * Fits the CNR. +3%

Weapon/Abilities: 15%


 * Weapon is eh. It's practical, but it doesn't have too much flair. Which is understandable for a killer type. +5%


 * Semblance is interesting. And fits with his fighting style. +7%


 * Fighting style is too simple. Almost everything he can do is doable if a different assassin is hired. +3%

Backstory/Personality: 11%


 * Personality is too one-sided. As an antagonist, it sort of works. Though a little depth here and there won't hurt. +6%


 * Backstory feels a bit iffy. Sure, a rogue soldier serial killer is fine. (Just ask Rambo) But it kind of feels overdone and his key motives for being a psychopath fall flat. Why did he enjoy killing? +5%

Faunus-ness: 15%


 * Leaning on his more feral animal side, Shaddo's faunusness is kind of good. As long as you consider that he's a wolf high on rabies. Emphasizing that he may have a faunus-related disease rather than enjoying killing may have boosted both this category and his backstory. +15%

Appearance: 15%


 * Though bland, it suits his occupation well. Trenchcoats are kind of overrated though. Some detailing of how his coat looks like would help too. The scars give him some style though, and his kill list is worth noting. +15%.

Final Score: 61%

The main thing that hurts Shaddo's score is his backstory and personality. Some additions to that may net a higher score. As a Wolf Faunus, he works fine. He just needs more depth.

2.Flint Maize (73.Anon.52)

Name: 5%


 * Flint = Gray. I guess? Or is it the spark of the Flint? =/ +2%


 * Fits the CNR either way. +3%

Weapons/Abilities: 20%


 * Very creative weapon. The fact that it's a guillotine just makes it more hype. I'd like to see a concept art of it to visualize it properly. +7%.


 * Ohai Kyouko. His semblance being a utility-based semblance is worth noting. It sounds like echolocation. +7%


 * Fighting style is borderline suicidal. And unique in that it relies on comrades. That's pretty ballsy. +6%

Backstory/Personality: 20%


 * Loyal wolf sums him up. The fact that he's considered an omega despite being a veteran among the WF makes for an interesting character. His casanova trait just adds more depth to him. +10%


 * I like where his backstory is going. He used to be the hype man who tore through WF ranks. But got bored and decided to stick to his current position. He can fit the position of an Obi-Wan-esque character for someone if he wants to. +10%

Faunuss-ness: 20%


 * Another unique wolf trait, this time being an omega. There's not really much to add, as I've described it already on his backstory/personality section. +20%

Appearance: 9%


 * Understandable that since he's WF, he must wear the uniform. That's fine. However, his casual attire appears to be rather plain. Some additional details on it may it more interesting. His semblance effect is cool though. +9%

Final Score: 74%

Neatly done character. Not exactly the most interesting from a story perspective, but as an OC, he's quite noticeable. Overall, some fleshing out on backstory and maybe a more detailed description of his attire may make him better.

3.Vasilisa Stepichev (Phantomlink959)

Name: 1%


 * Vasilisa = Queen = female form of Basil = King. Stepichev = Crown. Uh... Queen Crown? Though most crowns are generally colored gold and the like, but there are many kinds of crown out there. So this doesn't exactly work quite well. +1%

Weapons/Abilities: 17%


 * In terms of utility, the CMUP is pretty high up there, it might as well be used by Batman. It doesn't appear to be designed for pure combat, so there's that. +7%.


 * Semblance is really just an enhanced aura sensor. Some notes on the difference may help it. +4%


 * Once again, a fighting style focused on ally support. Though this time the relation is more akin to master->servant unlike Flint above. The fact that she's only partially reliant on ally support makes her slightly different. +6%

Backstory/Personality: 23%


 * Alpha Wolf? More like Alpha BITCH. Which isn't a bad thing at all. A demon to humans, but an ally to faunuskind. She has the traits for a conqueror. Parallels with ruthless heroes like Cao Cao can be drawn. +15%


 * Backstory is kinda okay. But I'm not so sure on the faunus nobles being a thing in canon yet. Sure, it works fine here. The one thing damaging her backstory is the fact that she's so badass she's among the first lieutenants. +8%

Faunus-ness: 26%


 * Hoo boy, where to start? She fits the alpha trait so much. In terms of backstory, she has everything going well for her though. Plus she needs a beta. And an alpha isn't a 100% alpha until a chucklefuck challengers 'em into a fight for superiority. Besides that, THIS is how you do an alpha bitch. +26%

Appearance: 13%


 * The uniform, as mentioned earlier, is fine without changes. BUT. What kind of mask is she wearing? Similar to the WF Lt? Or a unique one? +5%


 * O,O Did she just skin a fellow canine for that coat? Additionally, the fact that her mask folds into a headband means she's wearing a unique grimm mask. Points for the fact that she's wearing a fellow canine's coat. +8%

Final Score: 80%

She has a few holes here and there. (Most prominently, name and semblance) Otherwise, she's well rounded as a character and works as both an antagonist and a big good depending on if you're a human or a White Fang. She's definitely someone you don't wanna trifle with.

That's the first batch for now. I'll finish the rest 12 hours from now. This at least tells how my reviewing style works though.

NOTE: Edits after I post this are no longer counted in my review. You had your chances this week.