Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-26397825-20170730125154/@comment-25936766-20170830032857

SpiritedDreaming wrote: 1) Does he not wear shoes with his outfit? And no gadgets either, not even a watch to go with his fancy outfit.

2) [Backstory.....]

3) I feel like half of the personality could be trimmed out due to pure superfluousness.

4) Though, I’d read this if it was a feature length fanfic. The ideas for future stuff sounds interesting.

5) Good weapon, it works well.

6) ...No. For 2 reasons both based on Note 4:.......................................................the Knight broke her aura and she played keep away long enough to recover a little bit. 1) I knew I had forgotten something when I copy-pasted that.....I thought I added the bit of using....what are they called in english, suit shoes? Aside from that, and personally, I find wearing watches with suits like those....pointless.

I mean, for starters, it's generally hidden by the sleeves, so you hardly can even show it off, and in terms of practicality, we live in an age where nearly everyone has a phone, and even the oldest phone has a clock. (Note: Those are not Avalon's opinions, just mine).

2) Understood......to be honest, I'm still working on the timeline of events. Figures something didn't go quite right....

That said, just to clear things up a bit: He was 12 by the time the FoB rolled in. So yes, Yuki would've been in her early 10s by the time she left. Sure, by that time the WF was turning/had turned violent, there isn't much she would've actually done so far (especially since the WF was not as bad and widespread as it is by the beginning of the show), but there's still the "ideals" indoctrinating her.

She didn't "become the aggressor" just because she was part of the WF. There were other factors involved, including some ideas still whirling around in my mind, but among the ones more "solidified" so far, there's her hate of humans and her anger at the discrimination she and the Faunus suffered, amplified by the WF's indoctrination, made easier because children are so damn gullible.

Those are also factors for her leaving, along with a dash of feeling betrayed by who was probably the only person (and human at that) she trusted on a personal level.

Now, as for Avalon's...melodramatic depression, I personally blame my own writing skills more than the idea. The idea in itself, partially, being that the way Avalon responds to those events was supposed to feel melodramatic, yet acceptable, if not tolerable, due to it being in-character.

3) There are parts where I do feel it was kind-of superfluous, but each part was generally directed at different parts of his personality (at least, that was the intention).

I do feel I should revise it though.....part of me felt it was more like Don Quijote de la Mancha than King Arthur.

4) Glad you liked it. It isn't a "one-shot" story, and that's the reason the product ended up that long even when skipping some parts.

5) Thank goodness. I wanted to keep the idea of "Shield-Sword", but looking at the original version of Calesvol, it would've been much much heavier by the simple fact of being 3D.

This version reduces the problem, if not downright solve it, by leaving the weapon 2D (though much wider than the average sword), and using Dust for the shield part, meaning that the weapon is no longer too heavy 24/7.

.....I do miss the "Gravity-Dust Repulsion Wings" idea the original version had. It looked cool, in my mind.

6) Fair on your points about Jaune....but not about Weiss. Now, I don't recall how the fight went in the manga, but in the trailer, after she got punched, and somehow cut (and somehow her eye ended up fine), all Weiss did was get up, and waited until the Knight was about to strike her again to block his attack with Dust using Myrtenaster.

Now, since that "Red Shield" was via the weapon's function, it shouldn't use Aura. And I think neither does the trail of ice spikes she makes afterwards. But then she starts using her glyphs, to levitate it, then hold it in place, then to jump, then to dash through it, finally using a thrust with her weapon like she should.

Her Aura had just been broken enough to injure her, yet in like less than a minute she's already enough to go on a small barrage anyway. So either those Glyphs are damn cheap, Aura recovers that quickly, or something else. The nature of the fight doesn't help.

I do note 1 thing: You reject it purely on the grounds of "Damage, Injury". Given how Weiss's eventual scar didn't heal even when her Aura seemingly recovered enough to use her Semblance, even that aspect has some utility, even if overly situational.

However, that's not all the Semblance does. It also heals pain, which Aura users still feel, and it also recovers stamina, potentially countering the fatigue they can suffer from using too much Aura or from just doing stuff. I'm pretty sure I mentioned those bits in his Semblance section.

If you're given a cube to analyze, best to analyze all 6 faces. Even if you still reject the Semblance, at least acknowledge those parts. Otherwise, we're falling into bad, old habits that we indulge in the other threads, overly-focusing on 1-2 aspect(s) of the OC/Weapon/Semblance, and not mentioning the rest of them.

All that aside, the idea was mostly trying something that could work with Avalon, not be OP, and fit his allusion to King Arthur. I thought of using one of the other 2 Semblances I've thought up (and posted long ago) for him, and while both work for him in different ways, I wanted something that connects to his allusion more.