Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-27144409-20180525193802/@comment-26397825-20190313071608

Visually he spunds like a recolour of Yuma, the bat-winged Faunus who is a White Fang agent in Menagerie.

His background is kinda meh? Like, there's nothing overtly wrong with it outside the vow to 'destroy the SDC' seemingly coming out of jowhere. Why did he decide the SDC needs destruction instead of fighting for Faunus rights through violence like the rest of the White Fang? Because there is a difference between "wants Faunus equality and is willing to use violence to get it" and "wants to destroy a company entirely". From what I see the SDC hasn't done anything to him personally that would warrant such a life goal.

His personality clashes as well; unless he's a complete tsundere who doesn't know how to handle showing affection. People who are harsh and cold are not also secretly really kind. Cold people are jot the types to indulge in 'tough love', but rather to completely ignore others and not offer constructive criticism. Emotional investment distracting him can work, but he needs to be slow to get attached in the first place to suit his cold personality.

Condense his fighting style to one or two known styles that actually suit the weapon. Why does he know iado and bojutsu? Neither of those work with a lance at all. Pick a single martial art that he has mastered instead of giving him multiple. And while an M1 Garand could probably be used for sniping, a lance is very much not a sneaky weapon.

Basically his combat section is overloaded with useless fighting styles that don't match his weapon at all. It reads kind of like you changed your mind halfway through his design, but forgot to account for the fact that a lance is a charging weapon first, and a smacking weapon second.