Thread:Ragna the Bloodedge/@comment-10544474-20140519131633

Am I happy now? Have I found happiness in a place hated by all? Is it really the happiness I want? I don't know. More or less, it feels like weak, lieing love. What I had was something special and I held it dear to my heart every day. Yet, this one doesn't feel like that. It feels weak, fragile, like a newborn baby. I wonder if it will truly sprout into something, and I hope it does, but my mind always comes back to her. Everyday, now that we're apart, it feels like I'm better without her, but the memories still hurt. I think about when she smiled at me, when we held each other, when we spoke as if we were truly in love, but all of that is gone, and I sometimes cry, knowing that now. My life's gone to hell, my family'll disown me, and I have no where else to go. I lied to myself, hid myself away into this online environment, refusing to accept reality, when it's just around the corner. What can I say other than I'm sorry? I've felt suicidal so many times, and I just can't control my emotions. I fall in love with somebody and next, I end up losing them, just like I lost her. My words end up hurting myself, and they never help me. I feel alone because of them, and I just want to cry. I'm not strong, I'm weak. I want to feel sympathy, that's all I want. I don't want to hear the truth when I've heard it several times. I just want to feel pity. A pity that everyone hates that I need. In the end, I'm hated above all else. No one cares. No one does. I just...I'm sorry... 