Board Thread:Off Topic/@comment-27082610-20160612040111/@comment-27966940-20160615180014

HookshotHotshot wrote: Kirito Rose wrote: -Name: Tyler White Sorry for the wait, Kirito, I only just got on.

I found a few problems with Tyler, but most of them are just little things.

On his day off, why would he need to sneak away from the power plant?

How old was Tyler when he went on these adventures? And I'm going to assume this forest was inside the walls of a city, because I think some may call foul because of Plot Immunity. If he was 10 years old, adventuring outside the walls of a Kingdom, once or twice a week for a year, that may raise some eyebrows…

The latter half of the story seems a bit cliche, (Huntsman meets an impressionable young person and saves their life, and the young impressionable person becomes a Huntsman themselves) but it's definitely workable, and it's cliche because it works as a backstory.

Also, if you don't mind my asking, what color is QAIT?

Having a couple of problems with the Tesla Coil thing, (I really hope he used a blueprint, and even if he did, what's to say Tesla Coils even existed in Remnant at all?)

So, Raiden and Shango turn him into Whiplash,  basically? How long are these whips?

I don't know if Lightning can produce music, but that's not a huge issue

I thought you said his Gauntlets couldn't produce lightning, and now you're saying that he fires lightning from his Gauntlets to slow his decent?

How does he use Boxing with whips on his hands? Wouldn't he prefer to stay at mid-range and hit the opponents from there?

Just minor stuff; nothing really huge, but there are some weird discrepancies…

-I don't know what color QAIT is.

-What would you recomend I change about his story other than put in some more details about his age at the time?

-I don't see why Tesla coils wouldn't exsist. They had to have something along those lines at some point.

-The whips are retrcable.

-Did I say that? I guess that was from my previous version of his weapon. Juystsilver gauntlets that shot lightning. Dragon sugested I change it to fit his character better.

@Phantom

What initially sparked my idea for that ability was this.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h7uAzcFsXxw

Enjoy. :)