Thread:DragonGurlo/@comment-25555436-20150920211324

Your OC is shit. It's a blatant Mary Sue, and that is never good.

1-Directly linked to a main character, in this case Torchwick. She is his daughter, even though he hasn't even been implied to have had a daughter, much less a Faunus one, which would be contradictory, if his racist mockery in Vol.2 is any indication. Never make anyone directly related to a main character, never. At best, something like "they once saw each other on the street", or "X has heard about Y but the 2 haven't actually met or even know each other", in which case X is the OC and Y would be Roman.

2-There can't be a Dragon Faunus. For starters, Faunus need to be part real animals. A Komodo Dragon Faunus is acceptable, but that's because they are not dragons per se, despite the name. Stick to a real animal, not a fantasy creature.

3-Faunus can only have 1 trait. She can't have both wings and tail, just 1. Though both are impossible given the clothes you gave her. Wings would be part of her body, and tail as well, which means that even doing something as simple as putting a shirt or pants would be impossible due to the Wings and Tail being there preventing it. At the very best she would go around naked at the top with a skirt and some shoes or boots.

In other words, remove the wings and tail and pick 1, just 1 other trait that would actually allow her to wear actual clothes.

4-You say that Fire or Inteligence is her "Power". I will assume you mean Semblance. In which case, both are shit. Fire, anyone can use it for just 20 bucks. Inteligence, pretty sure almost all humans and faunus have it, even if not much. It would actually be very wrong if they lacked inteligence. 